There was once a passage that poked at the hearts of many people:
"I love you very much, I love you very much, it's just that I don't like you anymore."
Yes, it seems that as people grow, the more they can distinguish between what is love and what is the joy of youth.
But it's obviously not easy to strip away these two feelings, as Emma said when Dexter, who had been in love with her for years, said the words.
This passage is from the novel "A Day", which is the book we are going to read today.
The author, David Nix, uses delicate brushstrokes and montage techniques to only recount the day of July 15 every year, but tells the story of the chase between Emma and Dexter, spanning a full 20 years.
It is the original book of the film of the same name starring Anne Hathaway, "One Day", occupying the top of the British novel of the year, highly recommended by many media, 31 translations, causing a global romantic wave, and everyone is witnessing Emma and Dexter's love.
But after reading the book, it seems that everyone will have completely different feelings.
Some say that Dexter is wandering and is not worthy of Emma's liking at all; some people say that Emma is stupid, she can obviously live a better life.
But in fact, this parallel but intertwined two lives have been redeemed because of each other's existence, and they have become better because of it.
<h1 class= "pgc-h-arrow-right" > confident and the most beautiful look for girls</h1>
There is a saying: "Confident girls, walking is windy." ”
Confident girls have their own light, they accept themselves, integrate into the world, and live generously.
Emma was very unconfident at first.
The story begins in 1988, but in fact, Emma began to like Dexter even earlier.
But she has not dared to confess, and she always feels that only if she is perfect, she is worthy of other people's likes.
In 1990, forced to make ends meet, she worked in a small restaurant in Camden Town. Living in an apartment full of onion smell, suffering from noise, with a lampshade without light bulbs overhead, the whole person is dull and depressed.
Many people have said that Emma is smart, funny, talented, and has many advantages...
But she just wasn't confident, because she was embarrassed by the mess of life at the moment, and she was even more embarrassed in front of the shining Dexter.
A person can easily become decadent when both materially and spiritually are not satisfied. Emma was like that.
In 1991, Dexter returned to London and told Emma that she was really good and good, and Emma decided to pick herself up.
Many years later, when Dexter took the train to Paris and met the well-dressed Emma, he found that she was completely different. He knew she was good-looking before, but not as graceful as she is now, and she showed her aura with all her hands and feet.
At that time, Emma was already a well-known writer and lived a life of sound and color.
I believe that at this time, Emma's attraction to Dexter is not only due to Dexter finally recognizing her feelings, but more because Emma's confidence and confidence at this time really make her whole person more attractive.
Wilde once said, "Be yourself, because all others have already been done." ”
Yoko Spicy has received many praises for her superb acting skills in "Actors Please Take Place". She wasn't a standard beauty, with a big round face, fleshy, and her eyes were gone when she laughed.
But she is very confident, and that confidence will make people think that she is particularly cute and agile, and can't help but want to be close to her.
The biggest feature of confident girls is that they dare to be themselves, they are independent, but they are not ostentatious, they work hard, not to seek the approval of others, but to live beautifully for themselves.
Therefore, please do not feel anxious about your appearance or figure, do not be defined by the label of the outside world, as long as you feel that it does not matter, you accept such a self, generous, but also very beautiful;
If you're not satisfied with the status quo and want to make yourself better, then take action and have confidence in yourself that you can do it.
<h1 class="pgc-h-arrow-right" > pursue true dreams at the best of times</h1>
With dreams, life will be full of expectations and hopes. On the road to pursuing dreams, self-discipline and persistence are particularly important.
Emma's most admirable thing is not only her seriousness about her feelings, but also her unremitting efforts to dream.
She had always been sober about what she wanted — to be a writer.
During her time at the restaurant, Emma would occasionally write small poems and write letters to publishers and agents, and the results were all in the sea.
It made her a little overwhelmed, but it didn't dampen her passion for writing.
In 1993, Emma became a teacher, and with better creative conditions, most of the time, she would stay alone in her room, at night or early in the morning, happily writing for hours.
At this time, words are her spiritual sustenance.
In 1997, through an introduction from an old friend, she met with a publisher who promised her to publish a humorous story.
Although this is not her original intention, it is not a small improvement.
Emma was lucky. In her life, she met a person she particularly liked, and through hard work, she turned her interest into a career.
If the lover will not stop and wait for you, then please be sure to seize the dream, because only the dream will not fail the hard work.
Shen Congwen, who made a living in the army when he was young, found that he had some talent for copying and writing, so he came to Beijing with a literary dream.
Elementary school culture, no financial resources, he lived poorly, all with a literati tenacity to survive. Finally, he came to prominence in the literary world, and his book "Border City" was well-known at home and abroad.
If you don't have a dream, at least to have a hobby, you must first know what you like to do; if this is not, then at least know what you don't like, don't waste energy on things you don't like, and waste years.
Tennyson said, "Dreams can become reality as long as they last." Don't we just live in our dreams? ”
So, if you have something you like, just stick with it. Not necessarily a good result, but at least not regret it, right?
<h1 class= "pgc-h-arrow-right" > really high emotional intelligence, is to learn to listen to others</h1>
Whether it's love or friendship, it's equally important to maintain a good relationship and learn to listen and be good at expressing.
People who can listen tend to be more likely to gain a good feeling and have a better chance to explore each other's world.
In the past 20 years, Emma and Dexter have not really spent much time together. But there is no doubt that they all occupy an irreplaceable place in each other's hearts.
Dexter has had so many girlfriends, but for Emma, it is always special.
Anecdotes and complaints about traveling in India, Dexter would write letters to Emma; when he was unconscious in a drunken bar, Dexter would think of Emma; when he was hit by career and love, Dexter would only call Emma...
Not because Dexter was sure that Emma loved him, but because Emma was a good listener.
She always congratulated him on his success and comforted him in return for his frustration. So Dexter was willing to expose her vulnerability and wounds to Emma, and Emma was willing to give all her understanding and patience.
How can this not be the case with our dealings with others?
There is a famous experiment:
Lock a strange man and woman in a room and have them ask each other twenty questions, anything. Just like that, one question and one answer, by the time the last question is reached, basically two people can already talk.
This technique of quickly closing relationships is "express-listen-share". It turns out that it's easy to overlook the "listening" link.
Everyone has a desire to express themselves, and it is good to meet a like-minded partner, but it is a little rude and ignorant to always be self-centered.
People who can listen are smart people, and the listener seems to be passive, but in fact he is the controller of a relationship: because only by listening carefully and understanding the other party's words will he know each other better and choose a more appropriate way of expression.
So don't express yourself urgently in order to prove something, first learn to listen, then share, and finally communicate, this is the right way to maintain a relationship.
<h1 class= "pgc-h-arrow-right" > cherished and forgotten promise</h1>
The reason why this story is full of regrets and defects is because they all think that the other party will always be there, so they have not seized the opportunity to cherish each other.
People are always like this, and they learn to cherish it after constantly losing.
The young Dexter is handsome and golden, never lacking in women, and he also indulges in it, pursuing timely pleasure. Therefore, Emma's liking can only be carefully cherished.
They are confidants, friends, but not lovers.
They passed on letters, left messages to each other in no-man's phone booths, as if tricked by fate, and they always missed them at the right time of the atmosphere.
Emma has been running towards Dexter, but Dexter has used his immaturity and carelessness to push Emma's courageous heart again and again.
Whenever Dexter sensed Emma's importance, Emma was not with him, like the letter Emma didn't receive in 1990 and the phone call she didn't receive in 1993.
Their lives are like double tracks, parallel but always side by side, close but out of reach.
In 1998, they were reunited at a friend's wedding. Emma receives an invitation from Dexter that he is getting married, and Emma embraces him deeply and offers her blessings.
If the story had ended here, the fate of the two might not have gone to tragedy.
Unfortunately, in 2001, the divorced Dexter went to Paris, and after the vicissitudes, he finally knew that Emma was his beloved. Finally, they were together, this time as lovers.
A few years later, on a sunny afternoon, a car accident took Emma's life.
Dexter seemed to have been stripped of his soul and spent three years in a blur.
At the end of the story, Dexter takes his daughter to the mountain where he and Emma used to come, and revisits the place, and when the daughter asks about Emma, he only looks at the valley and replies: "I think of her, every day." She was Dad's best friend. ”
I think Emma spent 20 years growing up with him, and he will spend the rest of his life missing those years with Emma.
Zi Xin actually felt that Dexter and Emma were a bit like Shen Fu and his wife Yunniang in "Six Memories of Floating Life", the boys were prodigal sons, the girls were stubborn and simple, and they all had the fiery heat of loving one.
The difference is that Shen Fu knows that Yunniang is good and cherishes Yunniang very much. He attaches great importance to Yunniang's ideas and dares to take Yunniang to the lantern festival at night, they can break the world and bravely love each other.
Therefore, do not wait for the loss to suddenly understand the good of others, love is mutual, do not take the good of others for granted.
What we can do is to cherish the people in front of us, not to linger in the outside world, not to be easily moved, to be a contented person, to know how to be grateful, and to express love in time.
Try to discover the little surprises in life, share them with your loved one, do one more thing for each other every day, complain less and argue less, and live each day happily.
This book is very long, and every time I read it, I will find some new small details.
The ending of the story is lamentable. The tree wants to be quiet and the wind is not stopping, and the son wants to raise and not to be kissed, as if the maturity of man is always one step later than the accident.
So, when you are in a life stage that is not optimistic, don't give up on yourself, please stick to it; in the face of all kinds of temptations, please think a little more and farther.
Life can not be repeated, regrets can not be made up, do not let the rest of the year in regret.
Cherish your family, lovers, and friends, don't live up to their expectations, and don't waste your youth.
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