<h1>01
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A friend once asked me if I broke up with my boyfriend, but I couldn't let go of him and wanted to miss him very much. How can we say goodbye to the past once and for all?
I think this should be a problem that a lot of people who are just out of a relationship will have. It is said that there are lovers in the world who will eventually become dependents, but the reality of love always makes us drift away, love can still maintain the original intention in the end, and there are actually very few white heads to old age.
If there is really no way to go to the end, if it is still necessary to separate, then how can we let ourselves let go of the past as quickly as possible and forget the beloved him?
My advice is, if you really can't forget it, don't forget it. Leave everything to time, time will make you understand slowly, and sometimes remembering is a beautiful thing.
Writer Zhang Xiaoxian once said: If you can't forget him, don't forget him. Because real forgetting doesn't require effort.
If there is no way to completely let go of anything, if no matter how hard he tries, he is still there, stored in your memories, reminding us of the love we once loved.
Then it is better not to pay attention to him, live your current life well, eat well and sleep well, do what should be done every day, and strive to find the self that once loved to talk and laugh. Remember to love yourself, and one day you will find that the one in your memory is gradually disappearing in your day-to-day calm and indifference.
Or maybe, even if he has always existed there, but after a long time, even if you think of him again, you no longer have the same painful feeling as you once had, but you can talk to the people around you plainly, as if you are talking about a person who has nothing to do with you.
Time will dilute everything, and it will also make us see everything clearly, and the people who have loved, the people who are separated, will eventually find a position that suits them best and stay there forever.
<h1>02</h1>
After Xiaoting broke up with her boyfriend, she fell into great pain. The boyfriend came to her more than once, hoping that Xiaoting could give him another chance, and the two people could get back together, but even if it was sad, Xiaoting resolutely refused.
Friends can't see it anymore and come to persuade her: Although cheating is the most unforgivable, but you see what you have become now, I feel that you can't live without him, if you really love him so much, you can't live without him, it's better to give him another chance.
But Xiaoting knew very well in her heart that she was sad and miserable now, just because she couldn't let go of him. She believes that one day she can say goodbye to the past calmly. She is a person with a bottom line and principles, no matter how much she once loved her boyfriend, but since he has done something sorry for himself, it means that there is no possibility between two people.
So even if it is grief- Occasionally, there will be times when she can't bear it, she often loses sleep, and it is easier to remember the past of two people in the middle of the night. The bear alarm clock on the bedside table was bought by himself, the hanging pictures on the wall were purchased by two people together, turning on the TV was even more painful, the two people watched a lot of TV programs together, every time they saw familiar pictures, memories came to mind like a tide.
Those nights, Xiaoting had forgotten how she survived. Sometimes it hurts my heart, tearfully looking for photos taken by two people together, looking at the photos of their happiness at that time, it is even more heartache that I can't breathe.
Xiaoting will always look at those photos in a daze, she will never restrain her thoughts about the past, although it is painful to recall, but she also knows that sometimes the more she resists, the more sad she is.
Sometimes, she would say something to her ex-boyfriend's picture. Talk about the problems you have encountered in life, just like before, every time you make a mistake, you always have to spoil him.
Slowly, Xiaoting found that the number of times she recalled the past in front of the photos slowly decreased, she had more energy to focus on work and study, did not have much time to remember the past, and no longer always insomnia and dreams like before.
After a while, Xiaoting can already live a good life alone, even in the face of the memories created by two people together, there will be no sad feelings. Only occasionally she remembered that her heart would still twitch, whether it was a regret for the past or a nostalgia for him, she herself could not say clearly.
Later, Xiaoting made a new boyfriend, once the two people talked about their respective emotional experiences at dinner, Xiaoting suddenly found that she could calmly recall her past to him, told him that I used to love a boy very much, and finally he betrayed me, so we broke up.
The boyfriend held her hand in pain and asked her: It must have been very sad at that time, I don't know how you survived. Xiaoting thought about it, smiled and said yes, it was really sad, and it was also very difficult. But fortunately, in the end, I survived and met you.
We will always have moments of pain in love, those who have loved, those who have given everything, and in the end it may be difficult to exchange for the love they want.
<h1>03</h1>
There are always some people who swear to love you at the beginning, and they are the ones who hurt you the most in the end. From the day when two people part ways, we will be heartbroken, we will wander, we will be confused, we don't know how to be true love, and whether we can still fall in love with another person without distraction.
And those past memories, like a marquee, replay one scene after another in front of your eyes, can no longer be erased, trapped in such memories, sweet and painful, the most important thing is that we can not wake up, can not break free.
If you can't forget the past, if that person can't put it down, let everything go naturally. Even if the memory has passed, it is what happened to you, it is a part of your life, and no matter how much we forget it, we cannot change the fact that it once happened. And the same is true of the person you have loved, who has accompanied you for a long way, which cannot be erased under any circumstances.
That being the case, it is better to face it calmly. If you can't completely forget, it's better to let the memories merge into your life, occasionally recall, and occasionally sigh. It is also because of this contrast that we can cherish the happiness of the moment even more.
Time will end up giving us all the answers we want. As Zhang Xiaoxian said, the real forgetting does not need to work hard, if you find out one day, even if you work hard, you can't remember the appearance of the person who used to be, and at that time, maybe it is the real let go.