Text/Su Xin
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Once, Dong Qing asked Hong Kong writer Zhang Xiaoxian in "Readers" how to keep love fresh, and Zhang Xiaoxian said that women should keep themselves improving.
Many women in marriage will understand this in the end, and if a person in a marriage wants to have enough confidence, he must make continuous progress and constantly update.
As someone said, "Make yourself better, not be stuck in a relationship." "Learning is like sailing against the current, if you don't advance, you will retreat, feelings are not like this, it is difficult for a progressive person to wait for the stagnant person in the same place, once it is stagnant, feelings will hide a crisis."
A netizen recently encountered a very upset thing, she said, before the husband did not have a trace of her when she was very good, although not much earned, but every month can give her at least two thousand yuan of living expenses, but in the past two years the husband has a career in the answer to the turnaround, the annual salary of up to hundreds of thousands, but still only give her two thousand yuan per month.
When she was poor, two thousand yuan was more than enough for her, but now that the family had money, she felt that two thousand dollars was not enough to spend.
She also mentioned to her husband the idea of increasing her living expenses, but her husband always used various excuses to prevaricate her, saying that his expenses were also very large, and he had to save a sum of money for future entrepreneurship, so he controlled everything in the family. But this netizen still half-believed her husband's words, so he checked his consumption records in recent months.
She finally knew that her husband did not tell her the truth, in the past six months, he frequently went to high-end clubs and purchased a lot of luxury goods, but she did not question her husband, because she knew that his husband would definitely deceive her again under the pretext of entertaining customers. Coupled with the fact that her husband's attitude towards herself has become more and more careless recently, the woman's intuition tells her that she has to face a very severe test.
At any time, it is the economic base that determines the superstructure, and a woman who will only rely on men will never be respected.
Women, whether poor or rich, whether married well or badly, should allow themselves to live in marriage with confidence.
01 Women with backbones are more confident
When I was in college, I knew a girl, and at first that girl was one of our several work-study members, but after the second semester of her sophomore year, she met a boy from a privileged family, and the boy won the consent of the family, helped the girl pay the tuition and living expenses for the remaining years, but asked the girl to marry him after graduation.
In order to stop working so hard and studying, the girl immediately agreed to the boy's request.
After graduation, the girl naturally married the boy, but after the marriage, the boy changed his former tenderness, and he not only asked the girl to take care of all the housework in the family, but also obeyed his mother unconditionally.
The original love gradually faded color, the girl felt only the indifference and disregard in the marriage, and then the girl regretted it and wanted a divorce, but the man's family attitude was very resolute, saying that the girl spent too much money on his family and wanted to divorce the door.
The girl had to continue to maintain the marriage in a wronged way, and she was always humble in front of her in-laws.
When I gave up my backbone in the first place, it would be difficult to have confidence in my future life.
02 Can be expected but not relied upon
Love and marriage are women's greatest expectations, but we must not turn expectations into absolute dependence, excessive dependence will definitely make women lose this confidence.
In the movie "Search", Mo Xiaoyu is the full-time wife of Shen Liusu, the chairman of the listed company, who originally lived a carefree life, and once accidentally found Shen Liusu in her husband's office comforting the crying secretary Ye Lanqiu, on the surface Mo Xiaoyu was very generous, but behind the scenes, she had been jealous of her husband and secretary's ambiguous behavior.
When Ye Lanqiu accidentally fell into a public opinion of "giving up seats on the bus", she took advantage of the fire to rob and report that the secretary Ye Lanqiu was actually a small third.
Shen Liusu of course knew that everything was a ghost made by Mo Xiaoyu, and when he questioned Mo Xiaoyu, Mo Xiaoyu asked him when he began to have an affair with his secretary? Shen Liusu said to him unceremoniously: "Do the women I have a crush on Shen Liusu still use to steal?" ”
In the face of a strong husband, Mo Xiaoyu is dumbfounded, yes, she is a full-time wife, every penny she spends is a gift from her husband, she only has the share of gratitude to Dade, what qualifications do she have to question her husband's private affairs?
Dependence on wealth and material things, excessive expectations for men, will make a woman lose the confidence to be in marriage.
Women, the moment you choose to rely on, may already be doomed to become a loser in marriage.
03 Don't ask for gifts and love
The writer Mr. Lao She once told a story, when he was young, his family was very poor, once he saw a neighbor's family killing pigs and making dumplings, so he ran home and asked his mother: "Mom, is a meatball dumpling delicious, or is our family's vegetable dumpling delicious?" ”
The mother saw that Lao She was coveting the pork of the neighbor's family, but she said firmly: "Use the money she earns to buy noodles and cut meat, and the dumplings are pinched by themselves, they are delicious, they are delicious, they eat fragrantly, and they eat hard." ”
So Lao She remembered his mother's teachings, so he was an iron-boned person for the rest of his life.
There is a saying on Zhihu that says it well: "Don't reach out for love and gifts." If a person really loves you, he will give you everything that is good without you opening his mouth. Instead, all you will come will be charity and humility. ”
What a person reaches out to ask for is naturally different from what others take the initiative to give. The former is charity, the latter is preference.
A friend told me a little story about her and her ex-boyfriend, once a friend accidentally broke the mobile phone, unfortunately, during that time she just quit her job and did not find a home, financially somewhat tight.
So she joked with her boyfriend and asked him to buy a mobile phone. The boyfriend happily agreed, but he said he would have to wait until he was paid to buy it.
The friend believed it to be true, but after waiting for two months, he did not see his boyfriend mention the purchase of a mobile phone.
Someone told her that he was urged to fulfill his previous promise, but the friend smiled and said that what he wanted had lost its meaning, not to mention that people did not want to give it, and then mentioning it could only be embarrassing and hurt self-esteem.
Because of that hurt self-esteem, the friend later broke up with her boyfriend.
Yi Shu wrote in the Book of Chenghuan: "It is impossible to rely on others in life and hope to be respected by others. ”
Therefore, women must remember not to rely on a person at any time, even if he gives you marriage, but financially you must also rely on yourself, otherwise you will definitely pay for your excessive dependence.
END.