On the road of parenting, the father accompanies and actively participates, and the child will be more confident, braver and have a more sound personality.
If you are a child's father, please read this article carefully; If you are the child's mother, please be sure to forward it to the child's father!
Author | Peach mother
There is a sentence in "Fatherhood":
The absence of a father is the misfortune of the family, the sorrow of the wife, the sadness of the children, and the depression of society.
But in real life, many fathers believe that work and children cannot be balanced.
Dams Say:
When you make enough money, when you finish this while, and have your mother with your baby...
As everyone knows, education cannot be repeated, and children's growth is only once.
As children grow up, parents play different roles and assume different responsibilities.
On the road to raising children, these 18 things, dads must do it himself.
If you have a son
Dad, please do these things
Between father and son, there is a language that belongs exclusively to father and son.
They are also fathers and brothers, like teachers and friends.
Boys are born with a kind of worship for their fathers and will subconsciously imitate their father's behavior.
As a father, if you want to be a good example for your boys, these 9 things must be done.
1. Bathe him
I once watched a street interview: How many times have you bathed your brat?
80% of the fathers interviewed said that they rarely bathe their sons, and it has always been the mother who does it.
After reading it, I couldn't help but sigh: "Dads, you missed a great opportunity to get close to the boy. ”
The father bathes his son, and the father and son "treat each other honestly", which can not only establish a close father-son relationship, but also help the child develop good personal hygiene habits.
Most importantly, it allows boys to correctly distinguish between genders and clarify physical boundaries.
And all this is something that mom can't do.
2. Teach him to love his mother
There is a saying on the Internet:
"A father who can earn money is a fan, a father who can cook is a treasure, a father who can bring a baby is a scarce product, and a father who can express love is a superlative."
On the one hand, dad should love mom, which is the best gift and the best education for children.
On the other hand, fathers should also teach children to love their mothers, often praise and respect their mothers, and encourage children to convey positive feelings to their mothers.
Boys who know how to love their mothers will respect women more when they grow up, and they will also understand the preciousness of family affection.
A boy who knows how to love his mother must have a seed of "love" in his heart to support him in his search for his own happiness.
3. Be his hero
Every little boy has a heroic dream in his heart, and every father has been a boy's hero.
If a dad likes to smoke, gamble, play games... That child will also learn the same;
If a dad loves his wife, does housework, respects others ... That kid will naturally imitate secretly.
American psychologist James Dobson also said:
Put a boy with a suitable man and the boy will never go down the wrong path.
If you also love your son, please be his hero and be his example.
After all, dad is the best guide for boys.
4. Give him a bear hug
Many dads think: cuddling is exclusive to girls.
But they don't know that this kind of rejection will make the boy feel depressed and insecure.
Brain scientists say that boys develop their brains more slowly than girls and are less sensitive to sounds than girls.
If you love the little boy in the family, daddy please hug him more.
Let his skin feel touched and know that it is a care from his family.
5. Take him on a horse in bed
If I had to choose a game unique to "father and son", it would be "riding a horse with son in bed".
The son rode on his father's neck, and also imitated the riding action in the movie, and kept shouting in his mouth:
"Drive, drive!"
In the laughter and play, the relationship between father and son gradually warmed up.
The son can also exercise his physical coordination during the "horse riding" process.
6. Take him to a ball game
The growth of a boy requires his father to take him to appreciate the passion and heroism that burst out in a special environment.
Watching a football game is a great opportunity.
The father takes his son to watch the ball game, which can make him feel the thrill of the conquest of men on the field.
Watching a football game is also a rare education for boys.
Looking at the desperate runners running on the field, the boys naturally felt the importance of the enterprising spirit and team strength of hard work.
7. Talk to him about gender
The matter of gender, a sentence from a father, will always top a hundred sentences from a mother.
Especially after the age of 3, boys enter the budding stage of gender.
Dad must tell his son two things at this time:
The first thing is that we are all men, where we come from, what are the physical characteristics, and how to deal with it.
The second thing is that mom is a woman, we must be gentlemen, respect and care for the girls around us.
8. Teach him to protect girls
Boys are naturally superior to girls in strength.
For girls, dad wants to teach her to protect herself.
For boys, dad teaches him to respect and protect girls while protecting himself.
Let him know how to respect women, have a sense of responsibility and fairness.
And when such a boy grows up, he will naturally transform into a man with love and responsibility in his heart.
9. Teach him to be a real man
When walking in the community, I often see a little boy shopping with his mother.
The boy's small body struggled to carry a large basket of vegetables, and his forehead was covered with beads of sweat.
Every time his mom wanted to help, the boy would say, "Mom, I'm a man, I'm coming." ”
Later, I learned in a chat that it was all the credit of the boy's father.
It turned out that his father often said: "Have you helped your mother with work recently?" When I'm not at home, you're the man in our family, take care of yourself and your mother! ”
Dad's words and deeds can really make boys manly.
If you have a daughter
Dad, please do these things
The book "Raising Girls" says:
"If a father does not take his role seriously and cannot provide male strength and teaching to help his daughter, something will definitely go wrong with his daughter's heart."
For his daughter, a father is a partner, a life mentor, and a guide to his daughter's future happiness.
1. Teach her to ride a bike
As the saying goes: Dad is the best coach for his daughter.
Even if it is a simple bicycle, there is a clear difference between Dad learning and Mom learning.
The mother took her daughter to ride a bicycle, carefully and carefully, for fear that the child would accidentally fall on a big heel.
But I don't know that being so careful will only make my daughter slowly develop a character that dare not try.
And the father with a bicycle, strong arms, will give the daughter courage and security.
My daughter can also learn to be brave in a small attempt.
2. Teach her to be more safety-conscious
I have seen a netizen's story:
When she graduated from high school, her father asked her to go to a bar.
That night, she and her father ran to six stores and drank three beers, and in the end she didn't know which store she fainted in.
When I woke up the next day, I was in the hotel my father had booked, surrounded by a letter left by my father.
The letter reads:
"Daughter, remember that three beers is your limit.
There are a lot of bad people in the world, but I can't always be by your side to protect, the only thing I can tell you is your limits, telling you to be vigilant no matter who you go out with. ”
The adopted daughter knows the dangers of the world.
Fathers with daughters must let their daughters engrave their safety awareness in their bones from an early age.
Tell them self-respect and self-love, not to be fooled by sweet words and small favors, and to stay away from danger and harm.
3. Tell her that her dad loves her
Zhihu once read a question: "What happened to the girl who lacked father's love?" ”
Gaozan replied that they spend their entire lives looking for a "replacement" for their father, and they are more likely to fall in love and desperate for lack of love.
In a good native family, mothers should express love for their daughters, and fathers should say more "daughter, daddy loves you very much".
The father's love for his daughter conveys a kind of recognition and trust.
A good father who knows how to express love to his daughter in words and make her feel loved and noticed.
A good father can convey love to his daughter with actions, so that she has great confidence and confidence to resist the darkest moments of life.
4. Teach her to strive for the best
Many times, the attitude of the father is the behavior of the daughter.
Although equality between men and women is now advocated in society, prejudice against girls still abounds.
Compared to the mother letting the daughter work hard and struggle, the father's words are more powerful.
If you also have a daughter, dads please tell her boldly:
Child, you are never defined.
You can do whatever you want, dare to put forward ideas, and dare to fight for opportunities in the face of opportunities.
Understand that you don't lose to anyone, you deserve to fight for everything better.
5. Teach her not to settle for the second
In many traditional Chinese family educations, daughters are always indoctrinated with the following ideas:
You have to be obedient and well-behaved, not compared with boys, they grow up to provide for their families;
You are a girl, don't be stronger than a boy.
These seemingly good words for girls will make girls lack self-confidence, their thinking is limited everywhere, and it is difficult to live a wonderful and beautiful life.
They doubt themselves, think about the value of their existence, and are accustomed to being cautious in various expectations and criticisms.
6. Tell her she's beautiful
I once read a data released by China Daily with my child's father:
According to a world survey, Chinese women are only 37% satisfied with their appearance.
After that, each time the child asked, "Daddy, am I beautiful?" ”
The child and her father replied seriously: "My daughter is so beautiful!" ”
A father's affirmation and praise for his daughter is better than a mother's hundred words.
The daughter will gain confidence and the strength to soar through her father's approval.
7. Teach her the habit of being loved and respected
Every time a friend brings his daughter to a parent exchange meeting, he will first solemnly introduce it:
"I'm Ajie, and this is my daughter Suisui, I'm 9 years old, I'm a third-grader, and I love to dance."
After saying more, we were also curious, "Ajie, why do you have to introduce your daughter every time, everyone knows each other." ”
"Because I want to tell my daughter that she's important, she's a part of this place and deserves to be introduced," he said. ”
Don't underestimate this introduction, this is actually telling your daughter:
You are an independent individual, your existence is valuable, and what you say and do deserves to be respected...
Li Xue, a famous psychologist, once said: "Girls also long to be seen, to be responded, to think independently and to explore freely." ”
A good father should know: express more love for his daughter, respect his daughter more, and let her have the confidence to chase the wind and waves.
8. Teach her to manage finances
I've heard a saying: it's better to save money for your children than to teach them to manage money.
Saving money for the child will only turn the child into a wolf who only knows how to "suck blood".
Teach children to manage finances so that children can understand the hard work of parents and the hard-won nature of money.
Especially girls, dads must teach them how to manage their finances:
Every week or month, give your daughters a fixed allowance and teach them how to take care of them, so that they can learn to plan their lives and futures.
9. Tell her that dreams will come true
There is a saying that says:
Every child has the potential to become an excellent person, and every child's dream deserves to be affirmed.
Having a dream is a great thing in itself.
On the road of chasing children's dreams, mothers need to empathize with their daughters and experience their children's efforts and persistence.
Fathers, on the other hand, need to teach and guide patiently when their daughters don't know how to go down.
Encourage her to chase her dreams bravely and tell her: dreams will come true, and Dad is your strongest backing.
Education expert Sun Yunxiao once said:
"Childhood companionship is the source of children's happiness, and no material can shake the status of companionship in their hearts."
Dear dads, stop being busy!
The child's growth is much that neither material nor money can compensate.
Accompanying your children's growth is the "career" you should put first.
This article is very important, dads, please collect it well!