When it comes to the writer Mr. Lao She, we will first think of his literary works, such as "Tea House" and "Camel Xiangzi", which can be called classic chants.
Mr. Lao She has written a lot of exciting stories, but there is one story he did not write, that is, his own emotional story, to be precise, the story of his lifelong entanglement with two women.
Taking off the aura of a writer, as an ordinary man, he betrayed his marriage and failed to bravely rush to love, which eventually led to him, his wife Hu Yuqing and his lover Zhao Qingge all spending their lives in pain.
Is he a scumbag? Today, 55 years after he committed suicide by jumping into the lake, how to understand him?
The acquaintance of two literary and artistic youths
Lao She was born in Beijing in 1899, when his name was Shu Qingchun. His father, a Manchu bodyguard, was killed in the Battle of Beijing by the Eight-Nation Alliance shortly after Lao She was born.
Six years later, in 1905, Hu was born in Beijing, also of the Manchu ethnic group.
At that time, they were walking on their own life tracks, and although they encountered a chaotic world, they all grew up to be good enough for themselves.
After Lao She's father died, her mother worked odd jobs everywhere to make ends meet, but there were still well-wishers to support her, and Lao She entered the school.
He worked hard and had ambition, was admitted to the beijing normal school funded by the public, and at the age of 19, he was specially hired as the principal of a primary school, and later published novels in newspapers and periodicals, and his fame gradually grew, and the road of writers gradually took shape.
Hu Xiaoqing's family conditions are relatively superior, she has received a good education since childhood, likes to paint and calligraphy, and is still a disciple of master Qi Baishi, and is a proper and excellent young woman in literature and art.
In the early spring of 1930, fate arranged for the two men to meet. Hu Xiaoqing, who is still studying at Beijing Normal University, as a student representative, went to invite Lao She to give a literary lecture, which was the first time the two people met.
Later, under the mediation of relatives and friends of both sides, the two people met several times and had a good feeling for each other.
At that time, Hu Xiaoqing was in Beijing, lao she was teaching in Jinan, and this great writer began to "pass on the book of Hongyan", one letter a day to confess Hu Xiaoqing.
In one letter, he wrote: "You and I are both Manchus, living habits are the same, you are very easy to learn, I know history, literature, etc., we have a common language, we can live together." ”
What girl can resist such frequent confessions from a well-known writer? Moreover, Hu Xiaoqing already had a good feeling for him. In the end, Lao She used the romance of "100 letters" to successfully capture the heart of Hu Xiaoqing's woman.
If you have a wife like this, why should your husband ask for it?
In July 1931, Hu Yuqing and Lao She married. Talent with beauty, is simply a pair of heavenly people.
After marriage, she took Lao She as her home, and Lao She taught in Jinan, so she followed him to Jinan to teach literature classes in local primary and secondary schools. In Jinan, Shandong, they had a good time, children were born one after another, and the days were lively and happy.
Until 1937, when the War of Resistance broke out in full swing, Lao She could not sit still, although he did not say it explicitly, but Hu Yuqing understood in his heart that he wanted to "give up his small family for everyone."
In this regard, many people say that Lao She "fled" his family under the guise of participating in the revolution, but in the final analysis, it is only speculation. Literati are mostly idealistic, and in such a special period, it is normal to want to serve the motherland.
In the end, the intimate Hu Xiaoqing took the initiative to express his support, lao she was relieved to leave, he went to Wuhan, to handle some affairs of the All-China Literary and Art Circles Anti-Enemy Association, and Hu Xiaoqing took the children back to Beijing.
In that turbulent era, she had to take care of her children alone and support her elderly mother-in-law, and the hardships were needless to say.
As an intellectual woman, Hu Xiaoqing is willing to stay in the "big rear" of Lao She and play the three important roles of wife, mother and daughter-in-law. The use of "going up to the hall and getting the kitchen down" to describe Hu Xiaoqing is more appropriate.
It is reasonable to say that Lao She should be content and cherished.
Maybe he thought the same thing. However, he didn't know what kind of psychology the God of Fate had arranged for him to meet another person, Zhao Qingge.
Encounter another beautiful love
Lao She first went to Wuhan, and then moved west to Chongqing with the "Cultural Association", and the leader saw that Lao She was busy and turned around, and out of kindness, he sent him an assistant, that is, Zhao Qingge.
That year, Zhao Qingge was 24 years old, ruhua's age, and she was still a young woman in literature and art, and it is said that her works had been personally guided by Mr. Lu Xun.
In the year that Lao She published "Camel Xiangzi", she published her first film literary script "Model" in the monthly magazine "Women's Culture".
It is precisely because of some talent that he was recommended to be Lao She's assistant.
At first, the two people were just ordinary cooperative relations, but the two people who had a good feeling for each other still failed to resist the "long-term love".
Lao She was originally a person who was not good at words, and he himself once said that he felt constrained when he saw a woman, but Zhao Qingge was a woman with a more neutral personality and appearance, and working with her made Lao She feel very comfortable.
The two people have endless words, and they are becoming more and more tacit in their work, and they also create dramas together.
In this way, unconsciously, the feelings changed. Later, the two of them lived together.
As far away as Beijing, his wife Hu Haoqing is still working hard to take care of the elderly and children, as a father, husband and son of Lao She, but only remember that he is a man and has begun a new love.
But the paper can't contain the fire, not to mention that Lao She is still a celebrity, and he and Zhao Qingge have told Hu Qingqing about it.
In the autumn of 1942, Hu Haoqing finished taking care of her mother-in-law's affairs, and there was no trouble in Beijing, so she took the children to Chongqing. After 5 years of not seeing each other, has her husband really changed his mind? She was going to find out.
Before she went, she didn't tell Lao She, so there was an interesting legend later.
It is said that at that time, Lao She was eating, and suddenly, a comrade from the Cultural Association ran in and said that Hu Haoqing and the children had come, which frightened Lao She into "dropping chopsticks."
Maybe he had thought that there would be such a day, but when the day really came, he was still at a loss.
A heart, in a lonely time, is most likely to fall, immersed in it, unable to stop, unable to care about right and wrong. This can bring people temporary happiness, but more than that, pain.
A man's tough choice
On one side is marriage and family, on the other side is love and freedom, what choice will Lao She make?
For a moment, he was really panicked.
Because he did not know how to face it, he did not go to see Hu Haoqing and the children, but asked the comrades of the Literary Association to help arrange a place to live.
After that, for 20 days, Lao She neither had the courage to file for divorce nor was he willing to say goodbye to Zhao Qingge.
He was so entangled and in pain.
Seeing Lao She like this, Zhao Qingge was also disappointed, feeling that Lao She could not give her the name she wanted, simply packed her bags and left Chongqing.
After that, Lao She helplessly returned to the family, and Hu Haoqing chose to forgive and accept.
How easy is it to cut off a relationship?
On the surface, Lao She returned to the family, but in his heart, he always missed Zhao Qingge, and after a period of time, he secretly restored contact with Zhao Qingge through letters.
Once, he really couldn't hold back his thoughts about Zhao Qingge in his heart, so he ran to Shanghai to find her. Unexpectedly, his wife Hu Yuqing somehow got the news and even chased after Shanghai.
At this time, Lao She was once again forced to the edge of the cliff - a choice must be made!
This time, he said to Zhao Qingge: "We want to escape to a distant place, find a clean place, I write books, you paint, be friends with the breeze, be with the bright moon, let the sky fall, our love will live forever!" ”
It was very romantic, but at this time, Zhao Qingge's mind was extremely clear-headed, and she saw through Lao She's "escape" psychology and rejected this suggestion that was actually "elopement".
In desperation, Lao She still obediently went home.
In 1946, Lao She was invited to give a lecture in the United States, which was originally said to be a year ago, but he stayed there for four full years.
In these four years, he did not care about the lives of his wife and children, but he always missed Zhao Qingge.
In 1948, Lao She wrote to Zhao Qingge again, saying: "I bought a house in Manila (philippines), and for the sake of reunion, let's settle there." ”
There is a saying that is correct, what you can't get, will always be in turmoil.
From 1942, after being discovered by his wife Hu Haoqing, to inviting Zhao Qingge to "elope" again in 1948, it has been 6 years, and Lao She has been in a painful choice.
Reason told him that he could not betray the marriage and should return to the family, but the emotional affection could not help himself, and he could not give up on Zhao Qingge.
He was really miserable enough.
A letter to say goodbye: "Each according to a city, never see each other"
Feelings are a matter of two people, three people entangled and not liquidated, what is the matter? In fact, there should always be an end to this matter.
But who's coming to the knot?
In 1949, after the founding of New China, many exiled overseas literati began to return to China one after another, and Lao She also received invitations, but he was not moved, perhaps because he did not want to face Hu Xiaoqing.
But after receiving a letter from Zhao Qingge, he immediately left for China. In fact, Zhao Qingge was entrusted by someone to persuade him to come back.
Unbeknownst to lao she, his heart was overjoyed, and he thought that Zhao Qingge would greet him at the airport.
But unexpectedly, he only received a letter brought by Zhao Qingge's trustees, and when he opened it, there were only two sentences: "Each according to a city, never see each other." ”
The simpler and clearer, Lao She understood Zhao Qingge's despair, as a man who loved her, he did not understand her inner pain, but he still did not have the courage to file for divorce.
On the one hand, for Hu Xiaoqing and the children, he definitely has feelings and responsibilities, and it is impossible to abandon them so easily. On the other hand, divorce and running to Zhao Qingge are the crimes of sitting on the scumbag, and it is not what he wants.
Therefore, life is a wrong step, especially in the issue of feelings, once you take the wrong key step, no matter how you choose later, it is wrong, he is too painful.
At that special time, he was suffering from both mental and physical torture, so jumping into the lake to commit suicide was an escape, but also a relief.
Three "talented women" actually wrote a tragedy
Hu Haoqing, Zhao Qingge, and Lao She are all typical talented women, who should have had their own happiness, but when they met together, it became a tragedy.
Hu Xiaoqing, a woman in the new era, zhishu Dali, studied painting under Master Qi Baishi, and later achieved outstanding results in painting, was hired by the Beijing China Painting Academy, as a first-class artist, is a typical "up to the hall and down to the kitchen" style of excellent women.
But because of Lao She's betrayal, the second half of her life was resentful and painful, and after Lao She committed suicide by jumping into the lake, she was once accused of being too indifferent.
In his later years, Hu Xuanqing
Zhao Qingge, who has already shown her literary talent at the age of 24, is not the kind of woman who insists on destroying other people's families, she wants love, if not, she will never see each other.
She doesn't base her happiness on the pain of others. Unfortunately, she was too affectionate after all, never married, and also carried a lifetime of infamy.
In his later years, Zhao Qingge
Mr. Lao She, from the East Window Incident in 1942 to the suicide of jumping into the lake in 1966, these 14 years of wandering and struggle reflect his cowardice from one side, and from the other side, perhaps it also highlights his efforts, trying to keep the bottom line of being a man, abandoning his wife and children without guilt, he can't do it.
The Slovaks are dead, the tragedy is already a fact, who is to blame?
We must always remember:
At the wrong time, there is no right person.
Some encounters, it is better not to meet. Experiencing a stirring love, living yourself into a story in the eyes of others, others see it cool, but it is yourself who suffers and fails.
Don't be too greedy, sometimes, want to have more, maybe it is precisely the failure of life, the plainness of life and inner peace, is the greatest happiness in life.
Author: Xin hai
Editor-in-Charge: Small Ocean
Review: Blue Orange