There are no children who do not love their parents, only parents who do not know how to love their children.
Previously, the news that "the son is a postdoctoral fellow at Peking University, has not been heard from for 20 years after going abroad for further study, and the birth mother is critically ill and looks forward to seeing the last side of her son" has attracted social attention.
In 1999, Wang Yongqiang chose to go abroad after graduating from Peking University as a postdoctoral fellow, and has never had contact with his family since.
Guo Qiaodi, a 77-year-old mother, is critically ill in bed, and her biggest wish is to see her son for the last time.
Many people want to help the elderly realize their wishes, and through various channels, they finally contacted Wang Yongqiang.
However, as to whether he would see his mother for the last time, he only answered seven words: "It is difficult for a clean official to break the housework." ”
In 1969, Wang Yongqiang was born in Xinhua Village, Chunjiang Town, Xinbei District, Changzhou, Jiangsu Province, he had an older brother and an older sister, and Wang Yongqiang ranked the smallest in the family.
Wang Yongqiang studied well from an early age, was a smart child, and the whole family put their meager income on cultivating him.
Wang Yongqiang did not live up to his family's expectations, was admitted to Soochow University, then to a master's degree, then to a doctorate from the Institute of Physics of the Chinese Academy of Sciences, and to 1997, he was admitted to Peking University as a postdoctoral fellow.
Such achievements, in the countryside, are extremely proud, and they are also the neighbors' mouths "other people's children", how glorious.
But no one could have imagined it. At the end of 1999, Wang Yongqiang, who was at the peak of his life, suddenly chose to go abroad for development, followed by a complete lack of news, and the world evaporated.
Before going abroad, Wang Yongqiang has always maintained close contact with his family, and in addition to calling, he will often write back. He is also often concerned about his family.
Even the night before going abroad, Wang Yongqiang called his mother and explained that he needed to go abroad with his wife because of work and would soon return home to visit them.
As a result, after 20 years, there was no news.
Later, he was found by the Internet and the media, only to learn that he had always known about his parents' condition, but chose not to meet.
In the face of his "ruthless and cold-blooded" behavior, voices on the Internet are denouncing him, saying that his "parents are not at fault, the conscience of this Peking University postdoc is eaten by dogs", "Peking University postdocs are not worthy of being human", "there is no filial piety, parents work hard to provide for study, is this how to repay their parents"...
In fact, many times, the authorities are obsessed with bystanders, and everyone has an unknown hidden grievance, and everything has a hidden side to it.
As a person who is not a party, if we do not understand the truth of the matter, we should not make comments, kidnap others with the so-called traditional cultural morality, and open our own self-congratulatory entertainment mode of self-talk and verbal warfare.
As long as the law is not touched, adults do have the freedom to defend their right to choose.
He chooses to see or not see the last side of his parents, in fact, there is no legal provision, only some moral constraints.
In the face of this situation, although it will be sprayed by the public's ethical and moral public opinion, as long as you are unwilling in your heart, then no one can force yourself.
After all, one is the death of a person, the other is a legitimate middle age, and the road ahead is still very long.
If it is because of the meeting and some reversals, then it will also be a "nightmare" haunting.
In fact, everything in the world has causes and effects, and it is impossible to judge the quality of everything by a rule or conscience.
Mao Xiaotong's father who sucked his daughter's blood
Family and parents are often the places where feelings are maintained, but for some people, family affection can also be a knife to the heart.
In fact, for a long time, he may have been a puppet that the family manipulated arbitrarily, a victim witness of the parents' conflict and fight, and a prop face to satisfy the parents' various vanities.
The reason why he chose not to see it was that on the one hand, his heart had not yet gone over and put it down; on the other hand, he felt that only by breaking with his parents could he be himself and truly live the life he wanted to live.
You know, many times, to be able to really live in harmony with parents and families, it is difficult to ascend to the sky, once the distance is not well controlled, it will be easy to fall into the whirlpool of "emotional blackmail, moral kidnapping", tired, hurt others and hurt themselves.
Mao Xiaotong tells about the original family of the vampire father
However, Wang Yongqiang, as a postdoctoral fellow, was attacked by the whole network, or he can completely ignore the vision and suggestions of others, and his psychological quality is also strong enough.
How much traumatic experience did he have to endure in order to cultivate such a "cold-blooded, ruthless" reinforced concrete heart?
Wang Yongqiang clarified the truth of the missing contact
In fact, if Wang Yongqiang can't face up to and let go of this family relationship barrier" and reconcile with his past parents and himself, then it is difficult to get real convalescence.
Blindly living in the "disgust and escape" of parents and family, without healing, then in the end you will only bury yourself in the haze.
International NLP master Li Zhongying:
Parenting has only one thing to do: to help the child develop the ability to take care of his own life.
Most people's parents are undocumented and are first-time parents.
They are also not educators, they do not have a perfect parenting style at all times, and they lack a way of thinking that really goes into the hearts of children.
But in fact, as long as we look at it from the perspective of love, many things that parents do are really thinking about the good of their children.
It's just that they often get too late, often standing in their own perspective, not thinking about the heart to the heart, thinking that it is for the good of the child, and the result is that the child is pushed out of the home and launched out of their own world.
Su Mingyu, played by Yao Chen, breaks with his family and reconciles
In this conflict of parent-child rupture, in fact, no one is wrong or right, and there is a difference between good and bad, only whether to accept and put down.
No one is perfect, Wang Yongqiang is not, and neither are Wang Yongqiang's seriously ill parents.
No matter how parents and children choose and what kind of road they choose, in fact, "love" is fermenting and playing a role.
The saddest part is that those excellent children who are similar to Wang Yongqiang and later become independent have not also thought about whether there is a little bit of their own responsibility in all their decisions?
Behind the break with the family, why is there no problem of its own?
Once we pay attention to ourselves, we will find that some parents are actually victims themselves.
At some point, the efforts of parents are demonized as selfishness, so selfish that any of their own demands are wrong, even if they meet each other, it is also a selfish act.
Moreover, some parents simply hope that their children can live better than themselves, they work hard all their lives, look forward to a lifetime, and will only seek their children's success.
There must be some of its own vanity in it, but apart from this parental vanity, the remaining glory is actually enjoyed by oneself and used for life.
Ma Tianyu
Therefore, if it must be counted as Wang Yongqiang's parents are wrong, or Wang Yongqiang is wrong, it can only be said that people are very different, there are great differences, and it cannot all be as the world hopes - the grace of nurturing, the spring of retribution.
And most of us are thinking of the most complete and happy ending in our hearts, but in fact, mutilation is never absent.
For this incident, whether it is parents or children, in fact, do not force: parents do not have to use the Internet to find children who are unwilling to forgive their parents, and children do not have to live in the obsession of entangled parents' faults.
Both parties are first-time parents and children, if they can't accept it, they live separately, and not bothering is the best presentation of love.
Su Mingyu, played by Yao Chen, took a photo with his father
Finally, A word to Wang Yongqiang, a postdoctoral fellow at Peking University:
I haven't experienced your pain, so I don't advise you to be kind.
May you also be able to save yourself and eventually live into a loving faith.
[Heart] pay attention to @ bean bag small has an attitude, there is a temperature, so that parenting is simpler and happier.