Wen | Gongziyi
Three times, Tong Chenjie chose to divorce Wei Wei.
This "loving" couple, who seemed to have come to participate in "The Wife's Romantic Trip", saw that now they have become the couple with the biggest problem.
<h1 class="pgc-h-arrow-right" data-track="8" > bottom line. </h1>
None of these three couples betrayed their marriages, nor did they have domestic violence, and the problems between them are either love problems, or problems with each other, or problems with personality.
However, here in Wei Wei and Tong Chenjie, the word "bottom line" appeared. Wei Wei said that he loves Tong Chenjie without a bottom line, and Tong Chenjie loves him and has a bottom line.
Here, I have to state one thing: a woman should never feel that a man loves you without a bottom line, which is a good thing. Because when he loves you without a bottom line, he hurts himself, and this kind of love that hurts himself is hurt, and this kind of love with hurt is easy to reverse.
Like Wei Wei and Tong Chenjie, Wei Wei felt that he loved Tong Chenjie, so he gave up his original city for Tong Chenjie and lived in the city where Tong Chenjie was located. He was willing to leave his hometown for Tong Chenjie, but this kind of uprooting was wounded for Wei Wei. He even said that he felt that this was a great sacrifice for Loving Tong Chenjie. He loves Tong Chenjie so much that he hopes to get Tong Chenjie's equally "bottomless" love, such as asking Tong Chenjie to willingly give him a child when he refuses to quit drinking.
When Tong Chenjie refused to do so, Wei Wei would feel that Tong Chenjie did not love him enough. However, on the contrary, Tong Chenjie's love for Wei Wei was far higher than Wei Wei's love for Tong Chenjie.
<h1 class="pgc-h-arrow-right" data-track="78" > bad habits. </h1>
Wei Wei drank, not a drink. He would drink for seven or eight hours, and even when he came home, he would lie on the ground and be confused.
As Teacher Ni Ping said, whether this is good or not for having children, it is very dangerous for him to go on like this for a long time.
As Wei Wei's partner, in the days and nights when Wei Wei went out to drink, she would have this kind of worry at any time, worried that Wei Wei would make a mistake, worried that Wei Wei would have an accident. What should she do in case something happens? What should the child do if I have a child?
However, for Tong Chenjie's worries, Wei Wei was blind.
He didn't want to change his hobby. He even found a reason for his hobby, he felt that he was lonely and insecure in the city where Tong Chenjie was located, so he used this way to relieve his pain and loneliness.
He even raised the issue of having a child to his loneliness in Shanghai. He wanted to build his own link with Shanghai through a child.
Although his logic was incomprehensible, he thought that his ideas were not problematic.
But one of the most critical points: in marriage, in addition to the bottom line of infidelity and domestic violence, there is another bottom line problem, that is, bad habits. Because of this bad habit, sometimes he wants to change it, and it is difficult to change it, because he is already addicted. However, the harm of this bad habit is very large, even endangering life, so once a woman meets this kind of man, it is completely impossible to just talk about love, that is, to talk about reality, that is, to talk about the future.
If the other party does not want to change and cannot change, then choosing to leave is a kind of stop loss and a kind of self-protection.
<h1 class="pgc-h-arrow-right" data-track="79" > emotionally out of control. </h1>
As the show was recorded, Wei Wei's temper tantrums were revealed. As Tong Chenjie said, he could not control his temper, which was the most terrible.
Tong Chenjie's mood is stable, and when she and Wei Wei quarrel, she will cleverly give each other steps down, but also give herself steps down.
However, Wei Wei would not, he would even stop recklessly. And when it came to cooking, Wei Wei's attitude was also very abnormal. He said to Teacher Ni Ping that he wanted Tong Chenjie to feel that he could not live without her, so he did not cook, let Tong Chenjie cook.
At that time, Teacher Ni Ping said these words:
Oh my God, I've lived 60 years and heard this idea for the first time.
It was really a long time to see, and Teacher Ni Ping pointed out to the point, it was rare that Tong Chenjie loved Wei Wei so much, how so many people chose him.
It was Tong Chenjie who loved Wei Wei, not Wei Wei who loved Tong Chenjie.
And because of the cooking matter, Wei Wei's emotions were out of control again, he directly lost his temper and left, and even made the guest Yang Di feel afraid, he bluntly said, "If I can do anything, what do I need her to do", he even roared at Tong Chenjie: "Then you don't want to cook in the future."
Why did Tong Chenjie get a divorce?
Because she felt she couldn't coax anymore. Wei Wei was always out of control of his emotions, he couldn't control his emotions out of control, and it was Tong Chenjie who endured his bad emotions and tolerated his bad emotions. And Tong Chenjie's patience is also limited, too many injuries, too long to endure, it will be completely over.
Here I have to say: it's horrible to be with an emotionally unstable person. Because you can't communicate with him normally, he will often explode, making you panic and making you overwhelmed. The loss of control of his emotions will even turn you into a trembling person, saying normal words, you will be afraid in your heart, always afraid of provoking him, always afraid that he will lose control of his emotions, so you can only live carefully, until you can't stand it, and completely collapse.
Tong Chenjie took advantage of the fact that she did not collapse, wanted to choose divorce, chose to stay away, really too sober.
<h1 class="pgc-h-arrow-right" data-track="83" > have children. </h1>
Tong Chenjie did not want to have children, but did not want to have children with Wei Wei, who could not give him enough security.
Tong Chenjie's birth of a child is premised, that is, Wei Wei needs to change. However, Wei Wei felt that he had no problem at all, he felt that he could leave his hometown for Tong Chenjie, but Tong Chenjie was unwilling to give him a child, and Tong Chenjie just didn't love him enough.
He insisted that he had to have a child, and he wanted to continue his bloodline.
However, Tong Chenjie already belonged to the elderly motherhood, and now she was one of the family to rely on, and Wei Wei still had many uncertainties. Tong Chenjie does not want widowed parenting, does not want to raise a big child and a small child, she will be too tired.
And when she wanted to transfer this tiredness, she found that Wei Wei did not feel that it was a kind of tiredness, and he felt that his drinking and emotions were out of control, and they would not have much impact on the child.
When Tong Chenjie questioned him, his extreme inferiority caused extreme pride, so he chose the option of divorce for the third time.
Does Wei Wei love Tong Chenjie?
Love, his love is bottomless, but it is conditional, Tong Chenjie must be useful, to cook, to have children, to take children, to allow him to go out to drink, to accept that his emotions are out of control. If Tong Chenjie can't accept it, he will also choose to leave.
<h1 class="pgc-h-arrow-right" data-track="84" > marriage, you need to talk about responsibility first, and then talk about love. </h1>
Wei Wei is a contradictory person.
He once loved Tong Chenjie very much, and he gave a lot. But when he gave too much, too much for him to bear, he stopped giving. He didn't want to change, because he felt that he already loved Tong Chenjie like that, and there was no need to do anything to change. He did not really see himself clearly, he only found the truth of the so-called Tong Chenjie "not loving him enough" in Tong Chenjie's "don't want to have children" and "distrust of him".
However, many of us have forgotten that marriage cannot simply say that love is not love. Marriage, the first thing to talk about is responsibility. And to be responsible requires two people to be emotionally stable, two people to tolerate each other, and two people to avoid those risk factors in marriage.
Wei Wei weighed the role of love too heavily in marriage. He felt that as long as two people loved enough, then there was no need to talk too much about responsibility. But in fact, when either party in the marriage does not have enough sense of responsibility, it is not suitable for love.
Responsibility is the premise of love in marriage. Only when you have taken on the responsibility that you should have, can you be qualified to talk about love, and you are entitled to ask to be loved.
In this marriage, Tong Chenjie saw love and responsibility, and she rationally and soberly ranked responsibility in front of love. When she found that the other person's sense of responsibility was missing, she chose the option of divorce three times.
She loves Wei Wei, but she needs to be responsible for her children, for herself, and for Wei Wei. There are no children, and now they are scattered like this, each of them is free, and it is good for each other.
<h1 class="pgc-h-arrow-right" data-track="86" > read it three times and had an epiphany. </h1>
"Goodbye Lover" this variety show is really worth watching repeatedly, I watched it 3 times over and over again, and found a very cruel thing: I found that in marriage, there are too many things that are more important than love, character should be ranked in front of love, responsibility should be ranked in front of love, and even personality and getting along should be ranked in front of love. Coupled with the fact that bad habits and emotional stability are factors, it seems that there are too many things that need to be ranked ahead of love.
Love, it seems, is really the cherry on the cake. These three pairs are all in love, but marriage is so difficult, and everyone has a good reason for each person to insist on divorce.
Especially Tong Chenjie and Wei Wei, from sweet to crying, from envy to anger, only to find that in fact, the role of love in marriage is too fragile.
Therefore, those single girls, please look at marriage correctly, do not magnify the role of love in marriage, you must talk about love, but before talking about love, you must first see if the other party is suitable for marriage.
Remember, having sex with someone who is "fit to get married" is really sober.