The biggest advantage of a precocious personality is that they know clearly what they want and can clearly reject what they don't want.
The first two episodes of "Goodbye Lover" feel that Wei Wei (KK) and Tong Chenjie have a good relationship, very tacit understanding, sprinkle dog food, and even self-deprecating the wrong program group, should go to "Wife's Romantic Trip", but because of the setting of the show, the audience knows very clearly that this is actually an illusion, very tacit understanding, good feelings will not come to this show, a lot of trivial things in the marriage are not seen by our outsiders.
Living together day and night shows that the years are quiet.
Until the third period, I finally saw the contradiction between them: KK wanted to have a child, but Tong Chenjie refused to give birth.
Tong Chenjie's statement is that she does not think that KK has the ability to be a good father, because he is not controlled, he is already taking care of a child, he really does not have the energy and confidence to take care of a child, the child has too many uncertain factors, not just born so simple.
KK firmly said that there must be children, and now these problems will change with the arrival of children, because they are very eager to become fathers, so they must be a competent father, but now because the children have not come, so many things are too lazy to change; what is important is that he hopes that the child is the link between her and Tong Chenjie, because there are children, even if the last two adults are separated, but because there are children, the two people will still keep in touch, if there is no child, the two adults are separated, and they are separated. At best, we have a story when we look back, but we don't intersect again.
Ni Ping, as the host of the third issue, said a very classic sentence: Parents divorce you think that the child does not care, because their focus is not on you, but when the child is with his peers, their psychological state will appear.
I think this passage, Tong Chenjie is very recognized, and empathetic.
The observation group led by Vega looked at this paragraph and said that they understood Tong Chenjie very well, and felt that KK's idea was biased, just like what we do, we should be ready to adjust the state before doing it, not this thing happened I then adjust the state, and they think that the contradiction that they want to separate (divorce) is because KK wants to have children, and Tong Chenjie believes that KK does not have the ability to be a good father and refuses to have children.
Actually, it really isn't. Children are a very important factor for them to separate, but there must be others.
Why?
First, Tong Chenjie herself does not want children
She asked kk, if there are no children, just let's both be fine, okay?
Behind this sentence, the core idea is that I myself do not want children, she has always emphasized that women have children is a very risky thing, and repeatedly emphasized that having children is risky.
Also as a mother, I very much agree with this point of view, whether it is our own physical factors, or work factors, psychological factors, etc., in the process of your pregnancy, childbirth, there will be very big changes, it can be said that the world is turned upside down, men just have one more father's title, but women are likely to change the entire life trajectory.
If there is no other half or family to give enough care, love, confidence, it will indeed make people lose the courage to get pregnant and have a child, but it is only courage, not to the extent that Tong Chenjie resisted so much. Such resistance, repeated emphasis on risk-taking, shows that she herself is instinctively resistant to having a child, but she does not dare to admit it.
Sure enough, in the third period, Ni Ping's sister dug out the deep reason, because Tong Chenjie herself is a single-parent family, and her biological father has run away very resolutely and has not appeared again so far, so the trauma brought to her by the original family has not been healed because of her age, and there is a very classic saying, we use a lifetime to treat the wounds of the original family.
Therefore, in fact, Tong Chenjie herself is resistant to having children.
Second, KK's behavior exacerbated Tong Chenjie's worries
KK's emotional, love of drinking, cooking is to make Tong Chenjie have a sense of happiness and presence, and there is a sense of need, etc. These statements are enough to trigger various discussions, and KK's behaviors have deepened his own worries about having children and raising children without being cured.
Tong Chenjie said that to some extent, it is unfair to KK, because Tong Chenjie is worried, so he requires KK to have greater patience and responsibility than other husbands and fathers, which undoubtedly increases his burden for KK.
Third, the difference in thinking between the two people
After the emergence of many contradictions, it is Tong Chenjie who is coaxing KK, Tong Chenjie himself to find a step for KK, no matter who loves who is a little more, but at least in the current view, many things of consideration and logic, Tong Chenjie's indeed belongs to the public can accept and think that reasonable logic, not so much love, but rather in the care of children. Two people can live a good life, but when there is uncertainty in the middle, two people, especially the sensible side, will naturally be asked to bear more, so Tong Chenjie said that he will consider all the bad aspects to see if he can finally bear it, and KK thinks that things are coming, naturally there will be a solution, the idea is still inappropriate, the consideration is slightly simpler, and it can only show that Tong Chenjie protects him very well.
In the end, the two of them will not divorce I don't know, but the child Tong Chenjie definitely does not want to have children at present. Surely, it is a life, procreation is only the most basic, and parenting is the most important, and it takes a long time and energy process.
Couples without children, for the older generation, most of them will be very sorry; but Tong Chenjie's point of view I think most of them should be approved and supported, having a child, must not be impulsive or confused, he is really the husband and wife, even the parents of both sides are ready to have children, then the arrival of this child, for everyone in the whole big family is happy, this baby is really a baby, otherwise, it is a burden.
Instead of letting him live a miserable life, he chose not to start.