Marriage is a matter of two people, and it is warm and beautiful that you come and go to and tolerate each other. If in an intimate relationship, a scaleless accommodation has no bottom line to pay, a marriage that has no other use than emotional value, unlike a husband and wife but is free from life like a mother and son, what do you think will happen?
In the Mango TV divorce reality show "Goodbye Lover", guests Tong Chenjie and Wei Wei are such a marriage combination.
Tong Chenjie's home and outside the home, everything is broken, to the husband Wei Wei, who is two years younger, more like the old mother who has a son in the old age, spoils and compromises without principle;
And Wei Wei, who is nearly middle-aged, is no exaggeration to say that he has become a "waste-like" husband who is accustomed to being industrious in four bodies, only lying flat to enjoy the dividends of marriage, but not sharing the responsibility of marriage. Married for 7 years, I haven't even had a meal, let alone other chores.
The focus of the contradiction between Tong Chenjie and Wei Wei is on whether to give birth to a baby or not. Tong Chenjie believes that Wei Wei is an alcoholic and cannot even manage his emotions, let alone be a qualified father in the future. She did not want her children to grow up in a widowed parenting family environment in the future. Therefore, Tong Chenjie decided that before Wei Wei failed to successfully quit drinking, he resolutely did not want to be born.
Wei Wei had to give birth while he did not abstain from alcohol, so the two clashed many times. In the latest program, Wei Wei was reprimanded by Tong Chenjie for breaking his promise to quit drinking, lost face in front of everyone, and once again when the sentient beings were angry, he simply returned to the room in advance.
Ben was at fault first, but blamed others for folding his face, which was really a bit of a stink. What was even more unexpected was that the next development of the matter was not Wei Wei apologizing for his gaffe, but after the reasonable Tong Chenjie cried, he came to the room with a small hairy bear and coaxed Wei Wei in every way.
After being sincerely apologized and gently appeased, Wei Wei expressed forgiveness and reconciliation, and the gesture was like he generously pardoned Tong Chenjie. The guests in the observation room, like netizens, could not look down on this kind of unreasonable behavior, and Sun Yi even couldn't help but clench his fists like he saw Wang Qiuyu.
Everyone is an adult, how can he be so unreasonable, why should she be so humble! "Giant baby" Wei Wei always makes people angry, and Tong Chenjie's "understanding" is always painful.
For Tong Chenjie's compromise and tolerance, Wei Wei took it for granted and always accepted it with peace of mind. Others are upset about having a bird to use?
In the adult communication rules, maturity and understanding are pleasing to people, but in intimate relationships, they will only attract each other's inexorables, in exchange for their own "grievances" and "unhappiness". The more sensible, the more you give, the more sensible, the more no one is distressed.
As the first generation of former supermodels to go abroad, Tong Chenjie, whether it is the ability to create wealth or the resources of career connections, has far left Wei Wei a lot. Therefore, after chasing the show for a long time, tong Chenjie's humility in marriage has not been able to find any reasonable explanation, and can only be arbitrarily attributed to the unconfidence of the second-married woman marrying the first-married man.
But on the other hand, I am convinced that with Tong Chenjie's vision and pattern, the truth is definitely not here. Who a woman marries, and how many times she marries, is her own right and choice, purely private and private, and should not become a shortcoming of discrimination for no reason. The sadness of this gender does not know when it will be changed, so women must be cautious and cautious before entering marriage.
Behind Tong Chenjie's "humble marriage" must be hiding an untold story. Until one day, after occasionally seeing a conversation between her and Teacher Ni Ping, my heart was finally relieved. For Tong Chenjie, this woman, there is no longer sympathy, and there is no longer any heartache.
Tong Chenjie said that over the years, she has actually been very grateful to Wei Wei. Because, after the failure of the first 7-year marriage, there was a lot of commotion, her whole person almost collapsed, and her whole heart was cold. The so-called discouragement, she felt that life was just like this.
And at the lowest point of her life, when she was extremely pessimistic, she met Wei Wei, who was optimistic and humorous. He gave her the simplest love, gave up his career for him, followed himself to Shanghai, and everything started all over again. It was his original sincere companionship that warmed her back a little bit, reactivated a little bit, and her half life could be said to be picked up by Wei Wei.
When listening to Tong Chenjieyun tell this story lightly, his eyes were actually a little moist, and he finally understood Tong Chenjie's "humility". It is said that good marriages have a scale for tolerance and a bottom line for paying, but in marriages that are mixed with "over-life" friendship, the scale is unconsciously enlarged, and the bottom line is unconsciously lowered, and so on.
Willingness, willingness to gamble and lose, and grateful "humble" returns are a kind of happiness unique to Tong Chenjie's heart. Since then, all the sympathy and heartache for Tong Chenjie have turned into heartfelt admiration and admiration. Knowing how to be grateful and give back to the best of one's ability are qualities that adults should have.
Well-known host Yang Lan once said,
"The bond of marriage is not children, not money, but about the common growth of the spirit, in the most helpless and weak times, there is him (she) to hold up your chin, straighten your backbone, make you strong, and accompany you around, and bear the fate together." 」 At that time, in addition to love, there was also the righteousness of liver and gallbladder, the tacit understanding of not abandoning, and the unforgettable kindness. ”
Yes, marriage is complicated and requires a spirit of contract and sacrifice. And the unforgettable kindness is always worth not abandoning for a certain period of time.
A woman is too nice to a man, and he may not be grateful, or even willful because of it. But what Tong Chenjie wanted was never Wei Wei's gratitude. As strong as she is, all she wants is that she is not anxious in her heart and does not owe.
No longer distressed about Tong Chenjie, nor did he want to blame Wei Wei anymore, nor did he want to criticize the "mother-child" intimate relationship too much. Perhaps, this is exactly the marriage pattern that they are comfortable with each.
Middle-aged marriage, after running-in, has its own way of getting along recognized by both parties. Middle-aged couples, both adult men and women who are familiar with the world, feel good, is really good.