He Suohuan, a writer of sexual affective psychology, writes love stories, interesting strangers, and material knowledge.
Where there are people, it is the rivers and lakes.
Getting along with people is never easy and simple; The most complicated thing is the human heart.
When you meet kind people, you will reap kindness;
When you meet someone full of malice, you will suffer;
And when you meet someone with a bad heart, maybe the other party is secretly calculating you behind your back, and you only realize it later.
In social relationships, what are the characteristics of people with bad eyes?
-01
Accuse internally and curry favor externally
There is such a category of people:
When they face outsiders, they show the appearance of "good old people".
Be polite and respectful, always have a smile on your face;
In the face of people who mix better than themselves, sycophancy;
In the face of the boss, it is necessary to sneak around and pat the horse;
In the face of people who are worse off than themselves, they will be high and commanding;
And back home, facing parents, lovers and children, it becomes "accusatory and irritable" again.
Give all the good temper, patience, all to outsiders;
Leave all the bad temper, anxiety, and irritability to your family.
Such a person is the least worthy of deep friendship.
Their hearts and eyes cannot be said to be bad, but at least they are unreliable.
A consulting case comes to mind.
A woman who had just become a mother confided in me that when she gave birth in the hospital, her husband took her to the hospital and ran out to drink with friends.
It wasn't until she gave birth and was sent back to the hospital room that her husband returned with a full body of alcohol.
At home, he puts on a condescending posture, does not take care of children, does not do housework, and does not even respect his parents.
And outside, he again disguised himself as a "good-natured" person.
How can this kind of person who has different appearances, bullies and flatters and is irritable with his family, be reliable?
To judge whether a person's heart is good or not, you can know by his attitude towards his family.
-02
"I am weak, I am reasonable", emotionally unstable
Have you ever met such a person?
At dinner together, he eats and drinks every time, and never takes the initiative to pay.
And he said, "You all make more money than me, so you should invite me to dinner." ”
Get along with people who have a better life than him, and he will do everything to take advantage.
Even if it is a meal, a bottle of water, take advantage.
This is the "I am weak, I am reasonable" mentality.
They are emotionally unstable and have a habit of blaming others for all their faults.
I can't do it, I don't make much money, and I blame the company for picking the door;
They are not willing to give, sit back and enjoy the success, but complain that the other party is not sincere.
They are like "leeches", attached to you and constantly absorbing your value.
"Be lenient to yourself and be strict with others" is the best interpretation of this type of person.
-03
Always take, control, and use you
With them, all you feel is "unfairness."
It's just that in the early days of getting along, they were better at disguise.
When you first met, he was generous and willing to understand you and help you solve some problems.
But as he gains your trust and grows further into his relationship with you, he reveals his true colors.
Like what:
He is always going to take from you, keeps asking for you, keeps asking you for help.
Whether it's big or small, whether it's asking you to help with your work or borrowing money, he doesn't feel embarrassed when he talks to you.
If you refuse, he will stand on the "moral high ground" to taunt you.
"Are you too petty and still treat me as a friend? I don't want to help with such a little thing, I can see through you. ”
With them, you feel tired and exhausted.
What is a real friend like?
is able to think differently and consider problems from the perspective of the other party;
Relationships that are tolerant, understand each other, and are willing to give for each other.
If a person only wants to take from you, he never pays for you;
I only think about how to control you, take advantage of you, and never think about you when I have benefits.
Such people, stay away as soon as possible.
-04
Cynicism, undisguised jealousy
"Jealousy" is the deepest malice hidden in a person.
Jealousy can drive people crazy and make people lose their minds.
For example:
You drift away from the friends you grew up with, as the gap between the two of you grows.
You are getting better and better, earning high, buying a house and a car, getting married and starting a family.
But the other party mixed badly, with average income, no house, no marriage.
He never hides his jealousy of you, and will even do some extreme, aggressive behavior.
Including: verbal attacks, taunts and debasement, pointing fingers at you behind your back, etc.
What is his purpose in doing this?
You are not comparable in all aspects, and you can only create some troubles and troubles for you through this crappy way of "chewing the root of the tongue" behind your back.
Jealousy is most often seen in people with whom you are familiar with each other.
Under normal circumstances, there is jealousy in people's hearts; It's just that jealousy returns to jealousy, and in the end you can still accept reality.
But people with bad hearts are not only jealous, but also find ways to "trip up" you and create trouble.
Finally, be sure to understand this truth in socializing:
If you don't feel comfortable with each other, there must be something wrong with your relationship.
Today's Topic:
Are there any of these types of people around you?
What kind of person do you think is unreliable?
(Article with picture source network)