With the rise of parents after the 80s and 90s, the theory of "poor children and rich daughters" and "filial piety under the stick" has basically been gradually eliminated, but parents have opened "free-range" parenting to let children grow up freely. However, it will mislead the child that he has become independent, produce arrogance, and lay hidden dangers for future life.
Xiao Gang, 14, lay in a hospital bed and told his story. Xiao Gang grew up under "free range" parenting. Because his parents have experienced being beaten since childhood, and their work is busy, there is no way to "exquisitely raise a baby", so Xiao Gang has been a solitary personality since he was a child, and he rarely says what to say to his parents.
In junior high school, he entered a period of rebellion, tired of studying and teachers, often secretly going to Internet cafes to access the Internet, and also made many "friends" in society, and even learned to ride motorcycles. In his opinion, riding a motorcycle in the middle of the night is very cool.
However, he had not studied traffic rules professionally at all, so during a drag race, he dodged a right-turning truck and went into the green belt next to the road.
Since he was waiting for the red light at the time, he was not fast, so he only caused a fracture of his right leg and some other abrasions. For the rest of his life, he woke up a lot and bluntly said that he should not be so conceited and do such a dangerous thing.
Professor Li Meijin pointed out that the psychological characteristics of boys and girls are different, the education methods are different, there are three major taboos in educating boys, and parents must understand these cruxes in order to avoid some risks in their children's education.
Three taboos for educating boys
The first taboo: don't take care of everything with boys
Parents will take the initiative to "discipline" their children unconsciously. Words like "you should, you don't, you give it to me" are often hung in the mouth, and when the child is faced with something, before he has time to think, the parent directly points out the method and the result. Children have their own ideas, but they suppress their desires under the intervention of their parents.
This kind of education model of managing everything allows children to gradually lose self-confidence, slowly become unassertioned, become dependent on their parents, and gradually become "ma bao male". After entering the society, it will experience more and greater setbacks because of its own personality.
The second taboo: ask boys not to cry
Many parents believe in the proverb that "boys have tears and do not play lightly", so they suppress the emotions of boys and resolutely do not allow children to shed tears. Instilling in children the notion that "crying" equals "weakness" forces children to abandon ways to express negative emotions.
In fact, parents have demonized the "crying" thing, and scientific studies have shown that crying can relieve pain, eliminate negative emotions, and is a good means of emotional relaxation. Educating children that "it is advisable to be loose and not to be blocked" should be concerned about the reasons for children's crying, and teach them the correct emotional management methods, rather than suppressing them.
The third taboo: excessive preference for boys
Many families have a patriarchal mentality, and those with elderly people in the family are even more obvious. If there is too much preference for boys, it is easy for children to have a blind arrogance, and the formation of a conceited personality in the long run will have a great impact on work and life.
Treat boys with respect and be more "appropriate". It is necessary to teach them to be polite to others in daily life, learn to respect women, enhance their sense of responsibility by participating in family labor, help them establish the correct three views, and cultivate the cultivation of gentlemen.