Text \ slap sweet
I saw a message from a mother in the post bar:
"Why am I not gentle? Because my husband has not been at home for many years, since I got pregnant, I was alone, going to work, prenatal examination, cooking and eating by myself... After confinement, I went back to my mother's house, because there was almost no time to sleep at night at my in-laws' house, why? Because there is no one to help feed the baby with milk powder and change diapers...
How much did my husband pay during this period?
Occasionally go home once in two weeks or a month or two, change the baby's diaper or something. Sometimes he also feels hard to take a vacation, tired, and wants me to serve him..."
It is true that the listener sheds tears, and the listener is sad.
Dad has to work, and it's not easy to work outside. However, this is not a reason to ignore the home and not take the handle.
"Women are made of water", in other words, mothers are naturally soft and soft around their fingers.
But when encountering the father of an irresponsible, careless child, the mother will live herself into an army and will be forced into reinforced concrete.
Why does mom have a bad temper?
That's because most of the fires on my mother's body were lit by my father.
01The fire on my mother's body is actually "lit" by my father
During the World Cup, I swiped this video:
Coordinates Jilin, a man is watching the World Cup in the living room late at night, the sound is outside, and he is grilled with beer.
At this time, his wife appeared in front of him with the child in her arms, and angrily reprimanded him:
"What time is it, not sleeping yet. BBQ to eat, beer to drink, my son is woken up by you! I like to watch it so much, okay, hold your son, sit here and see the dawn go, don't sleep! ”
After speaking, he still tucked the child into his arms in disbelief.
After the man was reprimanded without saying a word, he wiped his tears with his hands and cried.
Netizens are also competing to feel aggrieved for him and fight grievances:
"The World Cup is not every day, men's interests and hobbies are so little, and it does not affect anything!"
"Marriage brings men only chicken feathers and loss of freedom and unspeakable grievances."
Not only that, but there was an unfriendly voice pointing at this wife:
"Shout, shout, a building has been woken up by you."
"Isn't a lady's voice louder than a television?"
The subtext is nothing more than saying that this mother is fierce, has a big temper, and should not be.
However, the mother emphasized that "my son is woken up by you".
How difficult is it to coax children?
Key word - "exhaustion".
As a passer-by, I expressed my deep sympathy, if anyone wakes up the baby I have worked so hard to "grind" to sleep, I will have the heart to kill.
In general, this father deserves it, what is wronged? I really want to see, no one stops.
But you have to have a way, at the very least, you can't make noise outside.
For example, learn from this witty father.
Watching the game until midnight was silent, immersively watching, full of rituals.
It's true that the World Cup is only once in four years, but there is no such thing as a mother taking care of the baby and taking care of the family.
And the father who has no eye and only cares about his own happiness is really the trigger for the collapse of the mother.
I think of a mom in "True Love Story".
She is endlessly dominated like clockwork:
Just after changing the diapers for the younger son, he was taken off and hidden by the eldest son after a while, so the younger son peed on the ground.
While mopping the floor, watch to prevent the younger son from being "up and down" by the older son and hurt.
Picking up the younger son, the older son was not happy and rolled all over the ground screaming.
The toys that were just put away, the naughty eldest son lifted it in minutes, scattered all over the ground ...
Mom asked Dad who was sitting on the side for help:
"Can you go see the kid?" "Can't you see the toy thrown on the ground?"
Dad poured, only looked up, moved his mouth, "Wait a minute, wait a minute", and continued to play with the phone.
It can be seen that this mother is relatively gentle, the child is so noisy, her voice is not even loud.
However, her father's "peaceful and peaceful" appearance still provoked her.
"Can't you help? You know I really want to smash your phone, I especially want to hit you. ”
"Hmm", this dad is so determined, this time he didn't lift his eyes, as if he was welded to the screen of a mobile phone.
Mom is exhausted, baby is lawless, dad doesn't care.
I don't know how to feel sorry for the child's mother's dedication, even if the guests are still polite and can't sit still.
I think that having such a pig teammate will only fanned the flames madly for the irritability of my mother who seems to be "immortal".
Mom is not born with a violent temper, but has accumulated too many grievances.
Mom is not born with a violent temper, but is too tired, tired to the brain can not be calmed, tired to be full of resentment.
And this, the inactive father can blow up the mother's fire on his own.
02 Temper tantrum annoying? Isolated and helpless mothers are the most pitiful
There is an issue of "Defense of Love", in which the husband accuses his wife of changing her temperament after giving birth, from gentle and considerate to irritable.
The wife gave an explanation: "He has a job and told me directly that he can't get up in the middle of the night, and it's impossible to take care of the children." So I often sat until dawn, feeding and coaxing the children alone, and getting up three or four times a night. ”
Simple, but also distressing.
But all this hard work and grievances were only exchanged for a fluttering sentence from the husband:
"I can't get up."
It seems that mothers are born to carry everything for their children, as if mothers should not lack sleep.
This father actually raked backwards, and in turn complained about his mother's bad temper, but he never thought that it was precisely because of his "shake the palm cabinet" behavior that he personally forced away his mother's tenderness.
The greatest sadness of a mother is nothing more than that she seems to have hollowed out herself for her home, but she is disgusted by her husband and her children.
There is such a question on Zhihu:
What is it like to have a grumpy mother?
Two of the answers are thought-provoking:
"I especially hate her, and there are always endless arguments where there is her since childhood. Talking to her can kill people in minutes, and all kinds of communication cannot be communicated without brains. Whether in public or in private, as long as I did something wrong, she immediately complained to others, and my sensitivity and inferiority when I was a child had nothing to do with this. ”
"Childhood was scary. As soon as she is cranky, your life will be very difficult. Emotions are equivalent to dynamite bags, wrapped in young you with nowhere to live, desperately trying to escape. Even my dad often doesn't come home for all sorts of reasons, which is really sad. ”
It's really sad.
The grumpy mother not only annoys people with her strength, annoys people, and makes people always want to run away.
It even causes psychological shadows for children, affecting their physical and mental health development, and the atmosphere at home is destined to be prone to uncertainty.
It is too difficult for people to see and love, and it seems so simple for people to dislike people.
Have read this passage:
"I used to feel that my mother was grumpy. Dad doesn't speak, mom is more irritable, always feels that dad is pitiful, and has to tolerate mom like a shrew. When I grow up, I understand that silence kills, or does it kill invisible! Dad is just using silence to escape everything! ”
An unconscious baby, a husband who doesn't care, is enough to turn a gentle girl into a violent mother.
However, Mom is not Superman, she needs someone to hurt, if not alone, who will turn herself into a dynamite package?
03The best family education is a conspiracy of love between father and mother
Thinking of her mother in the picture book "Crazy Mother's Country", she was exhausted, gave herself a job at a moment of near collapse, plunged naked into the bathtub, put aside all the chicken feathers, and was purely with herself.
She had a dream and experienced a good time of "abandoning her husband and abandoning her son" in "Crazy Mother Country" and healed herself.
As moms, we all had a strong desire to "steal sex alone."
Then go bravely and confidently.
On weekends, let dad watch the baby and have a shopping spree with his sisters.
After the baby's nap, use the child's father to enjoy your afternoon tea time quietly.
It's a person, and you all need to have a moment of respite, not to mention a mother who is burdened.
is a mother, there will be times when you have an emotional breakdown because of watching the baby, not to mention that this is a 24-hour simulcast.
Once a mother in Shanghai, after coaxing the baby for nearly an hour, the baby actually changed from humming to crying and kicking her by mistake.
She said:
"At that time, it hurt so much that I gasped, and the whole person was like a deflated balloon. In his crying, I cried, aggrieved, sad and self-blamed..."
It's really distressing.
Fortunately, I noticed that in the picture, the baby father has been accompanying him and taking the initiative to hold the baby and coax.
That's good! Mom is not afraid of hardship, not afraid of tiredness, but afraid of dad's inaction, distress, and understanding.
Superman, like a mother, also needs to have the bottom of the other half to have the confidence to cry, vent and breathe appropriately.
There is no unprovoked anger, there must be a trace to follow.
A happy family is the strength of the father, which makes people feel at ease, so that the mother can lose his temper less.
When the child says:
"I've never heard my dad say I love you to mom, but he's been telling mom that in action."
When the child says:
"As long as Dad is there, Mom hasn't cooked; Mom has always been the first to move the chopsticks; I have not heard my parents quarrel, and even if there is an argument, it is my father who surrenders unconditionally; Dad would pinch mom's shoulders and pour mom's foot wash..."
When the child says:
"I think my mother is very happy, and our family is very happy."
We believe that their families are indeed happy.
Because children are a mirror of their parents, and every word and deed of parents will affect their children.
With such a considerate father, I believe that their married life will also be very happy.
Family education, in essence, is a "love conspiracy" between parents.
There is a proverb in English called: "happy wife, happy life", which means that if the wife is happy, life can be happy.
The reason is very simple, it is nothing more than that every father is on the road, more responsibility, more distress and love for his mother, and the mothers will naturally be calm and light.
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