Giving up a relationship is bound to be painful, especially for lovers who have been dating for a long time. As the relationship ends, parts of the body feel as if they have been forcibly pumped away.
I saw a girl's submission in the background, saying that she had been dating her boyfriend for four years, and she knew from the beginning that it was not very suitable, but she had been running in because of love. Last year, I hinted to my boyfriend that I wanted to stabilize, but my boyfriend did not reply positively.
She said that reason told her that it was time to end, but emotionally she was still reluctant. I invested a lot in this relationship, and I couldn't make up my mind to give up like this.
In the adult world, there are no definite answers to most questions. However, what is certain is that avoiding the question is the answer, and without the following is the answer, the meaning of this man should be obvious.
The girl who contributed also clearly understood that the relationship would end sooner or later. Just taking the step of leaving is not as easy as imagined.
Seeing similar posts on Xiaohongshu, netizens will always persuade in the comment area. The starting point must be good, the other party is unreliable or has no feelings, and it is a waste of time, which everyone knows.
But it is not difficult to make up your mind at the first time, and it is not difficult to understand that not everyone has the determination to fully look forward and the courage to start again.
Nostalgia is a very normal psychology, really like it, have paid, whether it is feelings, time or money, are precious, one key to cut off will definitely be very reluctant.
So relying on those good memories before, I survived many moments when I wanted to give up. After all, the cost of sunk is too high, and letting go is equivalent to zeroing everything to zero. Getting to know new people and starting a new relationship is not an easy task. Coupled with the fact that they were too accustomed to being together, they slowly lost the ability to leave.
But on the other hand, they will feel anxious because of the disappointed expectations again and again, the future they cannot see and the irreversible relationship, pulling back and forth between giving up and continuing, and constantly consuming themselves.
I want to tell you about a friend of mine, she is the longest and most indifferent person I have ever met.
I have been with my ex for more than three years, and at a certain moment, the two of them tacitly feel that their feelings have faded. She doesn't seem to like him so much, and she can also feel that the other party seems to be less attentive to her, and her sense of participation in each other's lives is becoming less and less.
From the idea of breaking up to the formal proposal, it may be two days. Friends around her advised her not to be too impulsive, maybe it's just a dull period of feelings, just get through it, after all, it's not easy to be together for so long.
But she feels that since this relationship can no longer bring pleasure to herself, continuing will only consume the beauty of the past, and taking the initiative to end is the best respect for each other.
She thinks of him almost every day after the breakup, sad and tearful, but more of a feeling relaxed and calm, and knowing that she made the right decision.
Later, she met her current boyfriend, and the two were very compatible and matched in all aspects. Although it is impossible to judge what the future holds, she says she has found her soulmate.
Finding that the other party is unreliable, irresponsible, unable to give the future you want, or the relationship has obviously entered a state of tastelessness and no room for turning, giving up is not desertion, but self-help.
If you can't see the results, if you can't wait for changes, there's no need to continue wasting time, let alone being bound by those expectations.
Just like giving up seeing a novel where half of the story is gradually boring, watching the plot of the drama begin to decline, you will decisively abandon the drama, and if you find bad signs in your relationship, you should also turn around immediately.
The so-called sunk costs are like a trap, and so much time and affection is spent to pay for the happiness of the moment. If you lose the bet, you should understand that this is the end, stop the loss in time, and continue to increase the probability of losing more thoroughly.
In fact, if you think about it, being in an inappropriate relationship and can't get out, it's not necessarily him who can't let go, but himself who has been invested in this relationship.
To put it bluntly, this thing needs some luck, this luck is bad, let's recognize the reopening, maybe we can meet the right fate in the next hand. Anyway, don't fall in love with war, don't be trapped by your own unwillingness, greed for sunk costs will drag you down.
Girls who can take the initiative to end a long-term intimate relationship are very cool, and those who bravely say goodbye are rewarded with a fresh start.
Illustration / "Twenty-Five, Twenty-One"
Head diagram / Aren