A lifetime of father-son love, I am now very afraid of losing you, my father

Damn August 2021, it was this month, let my father diagnosed with advanced liver metastasis of stomach cancer, when I received a call from the doctor on the way to the hospital to inform the results I was still lucky not as serious as she said, but the real results made me five thunderclaps, because a I think angina took him to the hospital for examination but this result, how do I accept, my poor father is still at work in the morning, in the unit because of the chest area pain sweating can not stand and asked for leave to go home, I went directly from the unit to take him to the hospital, Full of thought that the worst is coronary heart disease angina, but found out anemia, the doctor let the stool and there is hidden blood and pulled out this demon, ten days of seeking medical treatment everywhere to find a way, everywhere hit the wall, I stimulated the body without exhaustion of the skin heart exhausted, every day the brain is groggy, a well-known expert a word, go home, should tell the patient the situation, he is willing to play on the occasion to take advantage of the time to play with him now, the treatment will be extended, but also spend a lot of money, who let you cure that is the pit you, at that time I was also stupid to open some painkillers, I was afraid that my father would suffer from the sin and myrrh, afterwards I woke up, I went to his kindness, people at this time he would rather be cured than let him wait for death at home, can not open the operation without intubating chemotherapy I also gave him up? I can't do it, don't try how to know no, and must not tell him that this is the problem, my father is timid, told him to let him be afraid of that it is still there, there is a cure for the disease, from me I have to change my mentality, in the pain is useless, since it has been diagnosed, the opportunity for surgery is gone, that is chemotherapy, we do not go to the big city outside the country, my father's body can not be tossed, directly not afraid of the old man to understand something, go to our city cancer hospital, hospitalization, and then wait for experts to directly arrange chemotherapy, People may be stupid at this time, my lovely father this point makes me very pleased, actually completely do not know what the disease, do not ask, you do not believe, at this time people are really automatic to block the worst possibility, even see the tumor hospital a few words he did not think about how sick he is, see him look up at the hospital when you let your son good heartache ah. The relatives who came to see me told me not to tell him or what kind of disease it was, so many days, until now I have asked once, what is the disease? I said what disease do you care about it, when the old generation beat the devil to manage who it is so much, the cure will be, can not cure the hospital still take you what to do, talk hard, I know my father worships the heroism of the elderly, I also have to selectively forget to give him a boost, he smiled and did not ask, the first cycle of chemotherapy after going out to play a trip, scattering, yes, for him is a distraction, in my psychology along the way and afraid of him tired, and hurt him, but also selfishly want to leave more memories, now chemotherapy two cycles, All aspects are still good, the reaction is not very big, is a little disgusting, although the hair fell out, but also was fooled, father, be strong, leave yourself a way to live, live a few more years, a lifetime of father and son love son does not want to end!