You pay attention to me, I accompany you to love
Wen Shu Xuan Xiaolei, also known as Mo Yang
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The movie "Don't Tell Her" tells a story about a white lie. The grandmother in the film, accompanied by her sister, went to the hospital for examination and found that the cancer was advanced.
Based on the diagnosis, the doctor said the old lady probably had only three months left. The sister did not tell her, but informed her children and grandchildren.
The old lady is full of children and grandchildren, two sons, and daughters, and they have all started a family and have children, but they are not around the old lady.
Some families are abroad, some families are in other places, the old lady's wife has long passed away, and there is an old man walking and trembling around him, who is married later, and they are a companion to each other and take care of each other.
When the children and grandchildren heard about the old lady's situation, they rushed back from all directions, but this time everyone had to hide the grandmother in the name of love, saying only that they were all back to attend the wedding of one of the grandchildren, so as not to make the old lady suspicious.
Only her granddaughter Billie, who lives abroad, is influenced by the culture of Western countries and thinks that it is not good to hide from her grandmother in this way, and she feels that her grandmother should have the right to know and that she should know her physical condition.
But the fathers said that you were selfish, and you told her that you were giving her the pressure and responsibility of the whole thing, letting her bear it herself, and her heart was more relaxed.
Although it is heavy for everyone to keep this secret, the unsuspecting grandmother can still live happily in the last days, so it is right not to tell her.
It can also be seen from this that we Orientals pay more attention to emotions and feelings, and will change their behavior according to the situation, rather than just talking about rules and reason.
Billie is actually still confused, because she thinks that if Grandma knows that she doesn't have much time in her life, she should have other plans, such as who she wants to say goodbye to, or who she still has unfinished wishes...
It also sounds reasonable, if you know that you don't have much time, people may make some changes, or there are some things that need to be done right away.
But from another point of view, knowing that their time is limited, most of people's spiritual qi will also be greatly hit.
Therefore, Billy's father and mother, as well as her uncles and aunts, unanimously said that they could not tell Grandma, and also said that when Grandpa had cancer, Grandma also hid it from him, and did not tell him until the end.
So everyone forced a smile and pretended to go home to the wedding, but in fact they were saying goodbye to the old lady. After the wedding, the children and grandchildren still have to leave separately, and the figure of Grandma waving goodbye at the intersection looks particularly sad.
But the children have their own lives, or they need to fight, or they need to make money, or they need to go to distant places to study, and no one stays for the old lady.
What remained with her was the old man who was halfway together, deaf and blind, walking trembling, the two people barely took care of each other, looking a little sad, but at the same time, this is the real life situation of many old people.
Happily, the subtitles at the end of the movie indicate that Grandma is still alive and healthy six years after being diagnosed with cancer. It makes one feel that white lies are indeed correct.
Grandma mostly feels that there is no problem with her body, and she is not worried and afraid, so people say that many of people's diseases are frightened and serious, and have a psychological effect, so optimistic and positive and happy life is indeed useful for the recovery of health.
Many of us, from an early age, have been taught by our parents or teachers not to lie, to be honest.
But as we grew older, we found that there were often places where we couldn't tell the truth, which confused us. Later, I found that some truths were always annoying or hurtful.
There are also some truths that do not have a positive effect, but have many negative effects.
Just as a person is sick and you tell him directly that there is not much time left, he may suddenly become depressed and have no intention of living. However, if you tell him he is in good health, he will subconsciously jump around.
Unaware that he has a problem, he will miraculously put his body in a benign operation. Thus healthier, or healthier.
Therefore, this kind of white lie does have its meaning and value. It can also be seen that there is some reason not to give it a specific framework, but to give it room.
It is necessary to make the reasoning and regulations flexible, not absolute, not limited, depending on the situation. In the face of reason and feelings, try our best to put feelings first. Of course, the relationship between "law" and "emotion" should also be a different matter.