Wen | a good pregnant sister
In life, there are often parents who intentionally or unintentionally tell some "white lies" to their children for the good of their children. However, what parents don't know is that this behavior may have deeply hurt their children...
Recently, a video circulating on the Internet brought me a lot of thoughts. In the video, a Mother in Xinjiang lied to her daughter because she did not want her daughter to eat too many marshmallows, saying that "marshmallows should be washed and eaten." The daughter with the marshmallow in her hand believed it to be true and obediently did it, and the result was predictable, and the marshmallow was all melted away when it met the water. The little girl watched the marshmallow disappear without a trace, and she cried like a tearful person...
▶ Most parents like to use "white lies" when educating their children.
It seems quite common for parents in our country to tell their children "white lies". As early as 2012, the United States conducted a survey of children's "white lies", and found that the proportion of Chinese parents who told their children "white lies" was as high as 98%, which was very alarming. Of course, the United States also has 84%. It can be seen that the use of "white lies" to educate children is a common means used by many parents.
Parents like to tell their children "white lies" for reasons that are easy to understand. Children are young and lack rational thinking, and many times parents reason with them, they may not understand, even if they can understand, they may not be willing to do it. Parents say a "white lie", the child obediently obeys and does it, and the parents easily achieve their goals, and save the trouble of explaining to the child bitterly, simple and efficient.
▶ Parents' "white lies" can hurt their children deeply
"White lies" may be well-intentioned, but they cannot change the nature of their "lies." If parents tell their children "white lies" in order to educate their children or for other purposes, the result can only be to deeply hurt the children.
(1) It destroys the child's sense of trust in the parents and affects the feelings between parents and children
From birth, the most trusted person is the parent who raises him. They believe that their parents love them, they will not deceive themselves, and they can trust them unguarded under any circumstances. If parents deceive them, one lie after another, slowly the credibility of parents in the child's heart will be overdrawn, becoming a person who is not worthy of trust, and there will also be doubts and distrust between parents and children, and there will be rifts in feelings.
"White lies" destroy the most trustworthy emotions between parents and children, and make children lose trust in their parents. As a result, it may lead to the fact that one day the child will encounter difficulties, but because he is worried that his parents are not supportive enough, trust himself, and will not ask his parents for help, he silently suffers pain, which is very pitiful.
(2) The child becomes liarous and unable to form a healthy personality
Parents tell their children "white lies" in order to achieve some purpose. Although this purpose is good, the means are not bright enough, so once discovered by the child, the child will mistakenly think that "as long as the purpose can be achieved, you can do whatever it takes." Gradually, the formation of a healthy child's personality will be affected and become a love of lying.
If children become liars, it is difficult for parents to hear a word of truth from their mouths, which actually increases the difficulty of education. Moreover, in the process of socializing, children will also be distrusted because they love to lie, be excluded by others, and cannot have healthy and harmonious interpersonal relationships.
(3) Affect the formation of children's personality
Parents often tell their children "white lies" and refuse to communicate with their children equally and honestly, which is a high-up, top-down way of education. This kind of education makes children feel that they are not worthy of respect, are understood, and are not good enough, and children will become inferior, sensitive, and vulnerable. When a child forms a negative personality, it may seriously affect his mental health and make it difficult to enjoy a happy life.
▶ Parents teach their children to be attentive and refuse to use any form of lie
There is no doubt that parents love their children and want their children to be good. However, children are very pure, immaculate, and simple and kind, so if parents really love their children, they should educate their children with their hearts and refuse to use any form of lies.
(1) Respect the child and treat the child as an independent, thoughtful individual. Parents teach their children not to ignore their children's feelings because they are young. Children also have dignity and character, and they also have their own judgments and ideas when encountering things. Therefore, parents should remember not to treat their children as naughty children who know nothing, but to communicate with their children equally, so that children can have self-esteem and self-confidence.
(2) Trust and appreciate children. Parents have lived for decades, witnessing the good and evil in the world, as well as all kinds of greedy human nature, but children are innocent and their character is still shaping, so parents should guide their children with praise and encouragement, so that children can grow up in a positive environment. If the child takes a detour, parents should have patience to correct, do not use lies to lure the child, the child is naturally subtly affected, and strive to learn to be responsible for himself, become an upright, kind, and self-disciplined person.
[Topic Discussion: Will you tell white lies to your children? 】
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