Xue Baochao is easy to have, Lin Daiyu is difficult to find, this is my deepest feeling when I watch the original work of "Dream of the Red Chamber". The emotional marriage between Lin Daiyu, Xue Baochao and Jia Baoyu has always been a common topic, but everyone has different opinions.
Some people think that the small family jasper Lin Daiyu is good, some people like everyone to show Xue Baochao, Lin Daiyu and Xue Baochao represent two types of women, and the characteristics of the two people are very distinct.
Looking at Lin Daiyu and Xue Baochao together, I found that the difference between the two people in all aspects was really big.
1. Family background
What is Lin Daiyu's family background like? In the original work, a few short sentences can let us outline her growth environment: "This ancestor of the forest is like the sea, who once attacked the princes, and now he is like the sea, and has been through the fifth life." In the beginning, only three were inherited, because the present Longen Shengde, far from the previous generation, the additional Garn, to the father of the sea, attacked another generation; to the sea, he was born from Kodi. Although it is the home of Zhong Ding, it is also a family of scholars. ”
The Lin family was originally also a marquis family, to Lin Daiyu's grandfather raided the knight, a total of four knights, although Lin Ruhai did not attack the knight, but he did not disgrace the ancestors, keju entered the shi, and also became a patrol salt imperial history. Therefore, the Lin family is also a high-class family, and Lin Daiyu is the real Miss Qianjin. Unfortunately, "the descendants are not prosperous", Lin Ruhai had a son, who died at the age of three, only one daughter Lin Daiyu, and Daiyu's mother also died early, leaving Lin Ruhai and the young Daiyu to rely on each other.
Living in such a family, Lin Daiyu must have received a lot of pampering, Lin Ruhai also attaches great importance to her education, and also invited Jinshi Jia Yu Village to teach Lin Daiyu one-on-one, it can be said that Lin Daiyu is a child who grew up in a honeypot, do not have to worry about other things, just do whatever you want to be your "little princess".
Xue Baochao is different, although the family conditions are good, but her father died very early, her brother Xue Pan did not do the right thing, but also caused trouble for the family all day, she could only shoulder the burden of the family early, to help her mother share the family responsibilities, that is, often said "the children of the poor family are early to take charge", Xue Baochao is because of her father and brother, she had to take charge of the family early.
"Since his father's death, when he saw that his brother could not cling to his mother's arms, he did not take the writing as a matter, but only paid attention to things such as needlework and family planning, so as to share his mother's worries and relieve his labor."
There are so many servants and servants in the family, if she wants to be a good family, she has to learn to be sleek and sophisticated, and she must let the next person obey her, believe in her, and listen to her.
"Bao Chao's behavior is open-minded, and when he is subordinate, he is not taller than Daiyu, and his eyes are dusty, so he is bigger than Daiyu. It is those little ladies who are also happy to be stubborn with Baochao. ”
In Jia Fu, Dai Yu and Bao Chao are two kinds of images in the eyes of the next person, Lin Daiyu loves to make a small character, emotional changes can come according to their own mood, and the next person feels that such a person has a bad temperament; and Xue Baochao has long learned to put away his emotions and be a good tempered woman that everyone recognizes. Because Lin Daiyu grew up at home, she did not have to deliberately take care of other people's emotions, xue Baochao had long learned to be in charge. Both of them, one still a little childish, one has passed that stage.
Second, Lin Daiyu was "inferior", and Xue Baochao was full of confidence
Many people say that Lin Daiyu is very inferior in Jia Province, which I do not agree with, I think she is not inferior at all, and the reason why she shows "inferiority" is also because of the situation.
Lin Daiyu was only 6 years old when she entered Jia Province, and Xue Baochao was older than her, so Xue Baochao saw more, and when dealing with so many people, she would be more comfortable, and Lin Daiyu seemed to be a little weak.
Xue Baochao came with her mother and brother, there are many people, and their residence is a separate courtyard, with its own living space, she deals with the people of Jia Province, it is like going out, you can return to your residence at any time, or very comfortable. Xue Baochao's mother and Lady Wang were still sisters, and jia Zheng was in charge of the Rongguo Mansion, so Xue Baochao's situation was much better than daiyu's.
Lin Daiyu's mother died, although Jia Mu took the initiative to take her, but the treatment was not good. In the team that went to pick up Daiyu at the beginning, there were neither elders nor people with the surname of Jia, only mother-in-law and maid. When Dai Yu arrived at Jia Mansion, the palanquin walked through the west corner door, and the room where she lived was not arranged in advance, and neither uncle saw her. Her arrival was only welcomed by Jia Mu, and everyone else was indifferent, thinking that she was just a distant relative, and she was also a little girl who was not valued. Although Grandma hurt her, Jia Mu didn't care about the specific affairs of the family and dealt with other people, and Dai Yu had to deal with it alone.
Xue Baochao was in Jia Province, at least her mother consulted together, there was an elder, she was a child who was protected. Lin Daiyu was alone in Jia Province, and there was not even a person who spoke to her heart, let alone an elder to support her.
3. Emotional intelligence
Lin Daiyu is not happy, no matter who it is, she will say a few words, sometimes people feel quite embarrassed, many people say that she is a manifestation of low emotional intelligence.
Dai Yu sneered, "I just know that others don't pick the rest and don't give it to me." ”
When Zhou Rui's daughter-in-law sent her palace flowers, Lin Daiyu regarded the kindness of others as a donkey's liver and lungs, was it too unconscionable? It's better not to give. In fact, I think Lin Daiyu said this not because of careful eyes, she was angry with Zhou Rui's daughter-in-law, because she was a snobbish eye.
Aunt Xue's original words were: "The three girls in your family, each of them has a pair, the remaining six branches, send two branches to The Forest Girl, and the four branches are given to Brother Feng." "It means that Yingchun, Tanchun and Xichun first pick a pair of each person, and then let Daiyu choose two branches, and the rest are given to Wang Xifeng, because Wang Xifeng is older and is in charge, it is not rare, these gadgets are generally liked by little girls."
In order to please Wang Xifeng, the Zhou Rui family first let Feng Ge choose, Dai Yu is not low emotional intelligence, but she does not like this kind of flattering person. From Lin Daiyu's words and deeds, we can feel that she has never looked down on people, will not climb the pressure, will not trample on people of lower status than her, and she does not like the kind of people who worship high and step on low.
At Xue Baochao's birthday party, everyone described Lin Daiyu as a drama, which was to ridicule and satirize her, and Lin Daiyu's situation in Jia Province was like a "clown" under the fence.
"I'm fine with the question, and I don't know why." I was going to make fun of you, to make fun of me. When she said such a thing in front of Baoyu, it was definitely not because she was small-minded, but just venting her dissatisfaction and grievances in her heart, and she trusted Baoyu.
Lin Daiyu's emotional intelligence is not low, when she first entered Jia Province, many details proved that her emotional intelligence was very high.
For example, when Lin Daiyu wanted to see Madame Wang, she knew where she should sit and could not cross the line: "Dai Yu expected in her heart that this was Jia Zheng's position. Seeing that Kang had slipped on three chairs and was also riding on a half-old ink chair, Dai Yu sat down on the chair. ”
At home, Lin Ruhai let her drink tea after eating for a while, but in Jia Province, she changed this habit: "Now Daiyu saw that many things here did not fit the style of the family, and had to follow, so she had to change them one by one, so she took the tea." When I saw the people in the morning, I had gargled again, and Dai Yu also gargled her mouth. ”
There is also the matter of her eating bird's nest, what she said to Xue Baochao: "Please doctor, boiling medicine, ginseng cinnamon, has been turned upside down, this will make me a new article to boil what bird's nest porridge, the old lady, the wife, sister Feng, these three people have nothing to say, those under the mother-in-law and women, it is inevitable that I am too much of a thing." You see these people here, because they saw that the old lady hurt Baoyu and Feng Yatou a lot, they were still looking at the tiger and delaying, and they were talking behind their backs, let alone me? Moreover, I am not their serious master here, I have come to me alone, and they have already hated me a lot. Now that I don't know where to go, why should I ask them to curse me? ”
Lin Daiyu knew her situation in Jia Fu, and she couldn't say nothing at all, she should endure when she should endure, and in front of Jia Baoyu, she would release her emotions wantonly.
When it is time to adapt to learn to change, on the surface can get by, in some small things, Lin Daiyu is indeed through some angry words, straight words to express her dissatisfaction.
Fourth, sleek
Xue Baochao is different, Compared with her, Lin Daiyu is not as sleek as Xue Baochao, and she can make everyone satisfied on any occasion.
On her birthday, Jia Mu asked her to order a play, and she would choose what Jia Mu loved to hear. When Jia Baoyu wanted to theorize with his mother, Xue Baochao would stop it in time: "Bao Yu was busy rushing over, and Bao Chao was busy pulling him and said: 'Don't argue with your mother, he is old and confused, but let him take a step.'" Such a woman, when the wife is indeed suitable, because she is rational and will reconcile family conflicts.
Xue Baochao would also coax Jia Mu to be happy: "I have been here for so many years, pay attention to it, Feng Yatou is so clever with him, no matter how coincidental the old lady goes." "Xue Baochao has a sweet mouth, and people with sweet mouths can eat anywhere, and she will often coax Jia Mu and Madame Wang to be happy, while Lin Daiyu will not."
When a person is too sleek, it is actually the most uncertain, because she will not show her true thoughts, and you do not know which sentence is true and which sentence is false.
Those who are left and right, I advise you not to confide in her, because a person who is willing to confide in you, she will give her true emotions to you, Xue Baochao will not. Xue Baochao's personality is suitable for survival in the workplace, but if it is to be a friend, I think Xue Baochao is not suitable, because she is not serious enough, so she is also easy to become a thing, but there will be limitations, not too big a thing.
Fifth, the heart machine
Speaking of heart tricks, Lin Daiyu is not as good as Xue Baochao, Lin Daiyu is like a silly white sweet, Xue Baochao's flower intestines can go around several circles, and there are more Than Daiyu.
When Xue Baochao overheard Xiaohong and Xiang'er talking, she did not immediately walk away, but listened for a while, and was afraid of being known by them:
"Today I listened to his short son, and for a moment people rebelled, and the dog jumped the wall, not only was there trouble, but I was not interested. Now they are in a hurry to hide, and they can't hide, so they have to make a 'golden cicada out of its shell'. ”
She didn't want Xiaohong to know that she was eavesdropping, and she couldn't hide, at this time, Xue Baochao let go of her footsteps and shouted: "Er, I see you hiding there!" ”
She made Xiaohong and Xiang'er mistakenly think that Lin Daiyu was eavesdropping just now, and she secretly hid it after listening, which was really a trick. Xue Baochao could completely say that he had just passed by, just cover up, there was no need to plant the booty on Lin Daiyu.
After Jin Ju's death, Xue Baochao hurried to comfort Madame Wang: "My aunt is a philanthropist, although she thinks so. In my opinion, he is not gambling. Most likely he went down to live, or he was stubborn in front of the well, and he lost his foot and fell. ”
A human life, Xue Baochao passed so lightly, although it cannot be said that she is vicious, but she is really cold.
Xue Baochao has a heart and a scheming, not that she is bad, but such a heart is more attentive and thoughtful. Sometimes the purpose of doing things is too strong, it will make people feel less true feelings, she can choose you, and will leave you at any time.
VI. Lin Daiyu's "Hostility" towards Xue Baochao
Lin Daiyu does not like Xue Baochao, because her feelings for Jia Baoyu are very deep, when you really like a person, it is jealous, especially when the opponent is also very strong, Lin Daiyu is more afraid that Jia Baoyu will like Xue Baochao.
Jia Baoyu himself is a kind of love, he sees a love one, not to mention the people around him, Qingwen, even the white-clothed woman made up by Grandma Liu, he will remember it in his heart. The relationship between Lin Daiyu and Jia Baoyu was ambiguous, not certain, and the elders did not explicitly say that they would become relatives in the future, so Lin Daiyu was jealous of Xue Baochao because she cared too much about Jia Baoyu, and another reason was that she had no bottom in her heart.
Jia Baoyu and Xue Baochao get closer, Lin Daiyu will be jealous, she is worried that Jia Baoyu does not like herself.
"What are you going to do again?" Horizontal and vertical now there are people who are stubborn with you, more than I can read, can do, can write, and laugh, and are afraid that you will be angry and pull you to go, what do you do? It's up to me to live or die! ”
In fact, Lin Daiyu's small temper is especially normal between couples, and when you don't know what the other party thinks of you, you will think wildly.
"Stupid, stupid! If you have jade, people have gold to match you, people have 'cold incense', you don't have 'warm incense' to match? ”
Lin Daiyu later heard Jia Baoyu say, Has Aunt Lin ever said these? If he had said these, I would have been separated from him. At this time, Lin Daiyu determined her position in Jia Baoyu's heart, Xue Baochao could not be compared, Jia Baoyu understood himself, and he made Baoyu feel more kind than Xue Baochao.
From then on, when she saw Jia Baoyu and Xue Baochao close, Lin Daiyu would not be angry, because she knew Jia Baoyu's true thoughts, just like between lovers, they already knew that the other party's favorite was themselves, then you would not be jealous anymore.
Seventh, Dai Yu is difficult to find, and Bao Chao often has it
Interesting souls to choose one, I think this is quite appropriate to use on Lin Daiyu. Her talent is definitely a top in the Red Chamber characters, and her temper is strange because she is sensitive and emotional.
Interesting soul, the average person can not control, just like in reality, many people say "love to do", Lin Daiyu is such a girl. Lin Daiyu is knowledgeable about the world, and does not want to become sophisticated, some people are not born mortal!
A woman like Xue Baochao is suitable for marriage, but she also has bad points, Xue Baochao has a high heart, and she can't look up to Jia Baoyu at all.
In the original work, Xue Baochao would deliberately hide from Jia Baoyu: "Xue Baochao was always far away from Baoyu because his mother had mentioned to Madame Wang in the past that 'the golden lock was given by a monk, and only when there is jade in the future can be married', xue baochao is always far away from Baoyu." When he saw what Yuan Chun had given him yesterday, he was just like Bao Yu, and his heart became more and more uninteresting. ”
Xue Baochao was first elected to the palace to choose a concubine, her heart was high, Jia Baoyu did not learn any techniques, Xue Baochao persuaded him to be good at his studies, Jia Baoyu was very bored, Jia Baoyu was a jerk in Xue Baochao's eyes.
"The unique Lin Daiyu has not advised him to stand up and make a name since he was a child, so he deeply respects Daiyu." Lin Daiyu's love for Jia Baoyu is pure, she likes a person, she does not care about fame and fortune, so it is rare that Xue Baochao is more rational.
The personalities of Dai Yu and Bao Chao determine who will marry Jia Baoyu, and Jia Fu does not need a daughter-in-law who has children and daughters, but someone who can take Jia Fu to live a prosperous life. Xue Baochao is married to Baoyu, even if she is in charge, I am afraid it will be difficult to subdue people with virtue, lack of wisdom, it is very likely to end up like Wang Xifeng.
Whether it is Lin Daiyu or Xue Baochao, I don't want to say who is good and who is bad, because they are not bad, but everyone's lifestyle is different, and the things they want are different, so the sophistication they show is different.
Lin Daiyu is aware of the world and does not want to be sophisticated, and Xue Baochao is aware of the world and strives to be more sophisticated!