In the process of children's growth, there will always be mistakes of one kind or another, if parents habitually criticize and accuse their children, they may miss the opportunity for children to correct themselves.
When you encounter this situation again, you can try to ask your child these 8 questions. Today's article, recommended teachers to turn it to parents to see.
1
"What happened?"
Give your child a chance to speak
Before things are clear, don't worry about characterizing the problem, let alone scolding your face.
First calm down and listen to the child's words, and understand the origin of the matter from the child's point of view.
Give the child a chance to speak, even if he is really wrong, he will be more willing to admit his mistake because he has the opportunity to explain.
Many times, as adults, we always take it for granted that we start from our own so-called experiences and experiences, and often misunderstand children, and in the future, we may try to lower our posture and "restore" ourselves to children, and there may be unexpected gains.
2
"How do you feel?"
——Let the child's emotions have an outlet
After understanding what happened, don't rush to educate your children.
The impact on the child's heart is a subjective feeling, there is no right or wrong. A lot of times, we just need to say what we feel.
Scientific studies have shown that when a person is emotionally strong, external stimuli are not easily absorbed by the brain.
That is to say, when a person still has emotions, he will not listen to what others say. It is always necessary to wait until his mood calms down before it is possible to think calmly.
So, if we want our child to be able to listen to us, we need to empathize with his feelings first and let his emotions have an outlet.
After the child has calmed down, he can ask him a third question.
3
"What do you want to do?"
- Know what your child is thinking
At this time, no matter what the child says, do not panic, let alone be afraid, but calmly continue to ask the fourth question.
4
"So what do you think you can do?"
Let the child speak for himself how
At this stage, we must respect the child's "fairy tales" and give the child enough respect for their opinions.
We can also think of ideas with the child, give advice to the child, and work with the child to think of a solution. In this way, when the child encounters problems in the future, he will also think of asking you for help.
When you can't come up with any more ideas, you can ask him a fifth question.
5
"What will be the consequences of your doing this?"
- Guide the child to think about the results
Let the child think and understand that behind each solution there is a consequence that you need to bear, can you accept this consequence?
If at this time, the child can not think clearly. Parents should help their children sort out their thinking and tell their children what consequences they must bear. But here parents should avoid preaching, just state the facts.
6
"What did you decide to do?"
Let the child think for himself about the next move
After analyzing all the situations and consequences, the child will also weigh the pros and cons and choose the most favorable solution. Moreover, this is generally the most reasonable and sensible choice.
Even if his choices don't meet your expectations, respect your child's decision. If you rebel, I am afraid that the child will never believe you again.
Moreover, even if he chooses to be wrong, he can learn more precious and unforgettable lessons from this mistake.
7
"What do you want me to do?"
Let the child know the location of the parents
When a child says how he or she wishes to help him/ her, parents must actively support them. Parental support is a strong backing for children, which will give children more confidence.
Wait until it's over before asking him one last question.
8
"What should we do next time?"
—— Let children learn to reflect
When things are over, give your child a chance to examine himself. Reflect on whether your judgments and solutions are effective, and enhance your judgment.
Many parents believe that their children are young and do not have the ability to solve problems, in fact, even very small children will use some strategies and methods to solve problems.
So when the child makes a mistake, parents may wish to try to ask the above 8 questions first, practice a few more times, the child will have the ability to solve the problem on his own, do not need us to worry.
The ability to recognize problems and solve problems is the most important ability and wealth in the process of children's growth!
END