A friend sent a message to Xiaoba:
Being able to live with entanglement is a "condition for adulthood.".
My first reaction was: Mr. Kawai's words. He always said such things that would make people laugh and cry.
Friend Back: Right. Reading his book, I felt like I was healed. I bought the paper version and thought I could read it again. This year, because of anxiety or fear, I forced myself to read books, but I have read several books.
The May Day holiday is also a good time to study. If you are too late to buy paper books, you can find e-books in the reading APP. For example, the following three books that are very suitable for parents and teachers to read are available in the "WeChat Reading" APP:
"What is the Best Parent" by Hayato Kawai
"Mr. Toad Goes to the Psychiatrist" by Robert Debod
"Don't be funny, Mr. Feynman" R· By P. Feynman, R. Layton
Let's read a few passages of Mr. Kawai's words:
If you really want to raise a good child, there will inevitably be a lot of trouble, which will make people annoyed and confused. Those of us who are engaged in psychological counseling work are the same, if we have never experienced confusion, and we have never encountered confusion, we really can't do psychological counseling.
People feel that it is too uncomfortable to endure the pain and entanglement of the heart, so they often try to avoid the troubles and entanglements and quickly choose a conclusion. I'm not wrong, It's my fault, it's easy and easy to draw conclusions like this.
The family is a place that integrates the history of father and mother, so there is fundamentally the question of how to adjust the contradiction between the two. Being able to learn the inner entanglement through personal experience is also the meaning of the family.
While carrying a lot of entanglements in the heart, there is the ability to endure it, which is what I define as "adult".
Excerpt from
What is the Best Parent?
Author: Hayao Kawai
Translator: Zhang Risheng
Publisher: Beijing United Publishing Company
Producer: Zhanlu Culture
Publication year: 2020-10
Two Q&As are attached:
Q
Teacher, the child is 6 years old immediately, like to play with girls, even if playing with good buddies is in full swing, as soon as he sees the little girl who often plays with him, he immediately follows the little girl to play, is this normal? Watching other people's homes play with the same gender, rarely with my family, more inclined to play with girls! How to boot!
XiaoBa: Normal, and in Xiao Ba's view, this is a kind of affection. The guide is not to forbid him to play with girls, but also to create some opportunities to play with boys, such as going hiking with the boy's family.
Q
Parents ask what they learned in kindergarten? The child replied that he did not know.
Xiaoba replied: The child is telling the truth, he can't consciously summarize and summarize what he learned like an adult, which does not mean that he has learned nothing in kindergarten and has done nothing.
To understand what your child learned and did in kindergarten, you can tell you about something he did or what he saw by observing what he was playing and saying, by talking about what you did or what you saw at the end of the day during meals and small talk.
● The caption is a still from the movie "Call Me By Your Name".
Children are feet, and education is shoes