preface
The weekly magazine contains the yuye shiye, which is evaluated to try it, so it is called "weekly jade test". The Book of Verses has clouds: "If it is like cutting, it is like grinding." "Jade is bright and bright, Shenfa will be conducive to appreciation; jade flaws are slightly flawed, and points may be beneficial to the instrument." Poetry friends exchange, exchange collisions, brainstorming, is also expected. The public heart of the critic, the peace of the poet, the appreciation of the reader, the heart of the editor, the holding of these four hearts, the common elegant thing, is not happy!
In this issue of Xiaolou's "Weekly Jade Test" column, guests are invited to choose a number of first comments and publish them in [Xiaolou Weekly (287): 2022 No. 17]. (Those who voluntarily participate in the Xiaolou [Weekly Jade Test] column, please pay attention to the public account first, and the next guest will leave a message from the back of each weekly or weekly magazine, and choose a number of comments and publish them on all platforms of Xiaolou.) All kinds of xiaolou's comment works will be published in the "Xiaolou Recommended Poems" column group fixed in the "Chinese Poetry Education" paper journal. If you have any objections, please leave a message to contact the editor. ）
Over the Old Village (New Rhyme)
Wang Zhiwei (Shandong)
Two or three white-haired earthen wall roots, a dog idle through the deep alley.
People and small villages are old, and they are dependent on each other to keep the old time.
Zhang Qingkai commented: Reading this poem, such as seeing a black and white photographic masterpiece with a sense of vicissitudes, the focus is clear and the depth of field is infinite. Insufficient in the "interdependence" and "guarding" meaning to repeat, should be changed at their discretion.
Liu Lang commented: Helplessness is permeated with worry, and anxiety is permeated with reluctance. The hometown is the starting point of nostalgia and the root of the traditional culture of the Chinese nation.
Read history
Yang Yiming (Shanghai)
Asking the Central Plains which is good and evil, the ichthyosaur changes and talks about it.
The time is less than three thousand years, and hundreds of people are called long live grandpa.
Zhang Qingkai commented: There are hundreds of "long live grandpas", and their multipliers are several light years! However, the history of civilization is still "less than three thousand years old." The irony is not small.
Liu Lang's comments: Turning the knot is wonderful! A word is exhausted, the thick taste is highlighted, the afterglow is long, and the real Law is everyone.
Wu Xiaohui commented: "Romance of the Three Kingdoms" records that Cao Cao said in the "Let the County Self-Ming Ben Zhi Ling": "If the country is not alone, I don't know when several people are called emperors and several people are called kings!" After all, Cao Cao was called king, his son was also called emperor, and he was also posthumously honored as Emperor Wu of Wei. From the first emperor Yingzheng to the last emperor Puyi, there are a total of 493 "long live masters" (including 71 posthumously titled by Cao Cao). What is right and which is evil? Which fish or dragon? Less than three thousand years of history, nearly five hundred "long live", this poem pierced into the bone, making people beat.
When you meet in the same window, you are parted
Pan Zhenhua (Heilongjiang)
Ten years of heavy hugging, still like a little time kiss.
A word obliquely returned to the goose, and the three springs went away.
The wine is beautiful, and the smile is new.
Thousands of miles of worry-free sighs, every day can be video.
Liu Lang commented: The whole poem does not have a love word, but every sentence is love!
Yang Qiang commented: There is a better apartment in the jaw joint view than Xing. The other six sentences are very ordinary.
Homesickness
Bi Lijun (Jilin)
The melancholy clouds were faintly mournful, and I overheard the apricot blossoms in the courtyard.
Secluded but the spring is still shallow, the original door seal incense can not come.
Zhang Qingkai commented: When it is because of the epidemic control at home to see and feel. Personal feelings are precious and true, not within the reach of those who moan without illness. The "overheard" of the sentence is a smell or auditory perception, which contradicts the concluding sentence "The door seal incense (including the sound) does not come", or it can be closely followed by the previous sentence and replaced by emotional words such as "pitiful". Only the tightness of the polar "seal" can set off the unexpected effect of the concluding sentence.
Farmhouse
Bu Fenghua (Shandong)
Bucket shoes wear green shade, mud fragrance flowers full of placket.
Put your body in nature, even if the plague god does not dare to invade.
Zhang Qingkai commented: Since you are a farmer, you cannot be a doctor. "Placement" is new, but it is not the most appropriate. It seems that the peasants have worked hard in the forest fields all their lives, gone through vicissitudes, and have been strengthened by their physique. The so-called "natural selection, survival of the fittest".
The Songhua River of Nongyin is the opening of the river
Cui Guangli (Heilongjiang)
Crashing into the glass and taking advantage of the good wind, a vast river of water flows east.
The spring mountain is small, and the waves are attentive to the first red.
Zhang Qingkai commented: The sentence is humble and quiet, which sets off the vast momentum of the Kaijiang River. The word "lying down" is well under.
Fourteen years into Beijing (4)
Song Caixia (Beijing)
The age does not spare people's frost on the head, threading the needle into the meditation search.
Sewn into lush green mille-feuilles, obtain qing and fourteen autumns.
Also into the spring wind to hide the Big Dipper, only the national color is recognized as a tall building.
Eight quiet alleys are full of vitality, and the fragrance of the flower path will be first-class.
Self-note: Eight Quiet Lanes, that is, East 48, is the office of the Chinese Poetry Society and magazine.
Zhang Qingkai commented: Wind and frost "Fourteen Autumn", "threading needles and leads", Willing to make "wedding dresses" for poets, see the spirit of dedication.
Qingjinzhi · 20th National Congress (2nd)
Chen Tingyou (Beijing)
The eyes are like torches, through the fog, through the clouds. Denglin carefully inspected the changes in the past hundred years, laughing at the chaotic clouds.
Wait for the idle Ding Ding to adjust the fangfu, the situation, and light in the palm of your hand. Jiang Shan grasped the long wisp without harm and marched forward vigorously.
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Eyes cloud aquatic, big country rule, small fresh cooking. The temple of four beams and eight pillars is early, and the national fortune is supported.
Wanbang Dunmu cultivates civil and military affairs, promotes sharing, and advocates win-win results. Shenzhou is imposing, and the avenue is peace.
Zhang Qingkai commented: The 20th National Congress has not yet been held, and this work is ahead of its knowledge. The content is really "like praise", why not say it?
Valley Rain
Tamiho (Sichuan)
The sound of the flowers is half-dropped, when the cuckoo persuades the ploughing.
A night of late rain has overdrawn spring.
Liu Lang commented: "Spring has been overdrawn" This person said Tang Renyi, remembering the sentence "The sound of wind and rain at night, how much do you know about flowers falling"! After reading it, the aftertaste is long.
A week after Ren Yin was stung, the eldest brother Ya ji did not go to the rhyme for some reason to get the even word Yong Taibai
Li Lizhong (Zhejiang)
Mr. Sun and Moonlight, my generation is decaying.
The seafarer is a poetry fairy, and the flying eagle is also a lackey.
Talent weeping ghost god, sniffing dry bull fight.
The arrogance of the letter is unmatched, and the strange sorrow can be even.
Liu Lang commented: "Haike Fu Shi Xian, Flying Eagle and Running Dog" to the point! These two sentences are enough, and the others are enough to continue the mink!
Sujue County
Jia Jianming (Sichuan)
The sound of running water and stone drums, tung flowers like snow hidden yellow warblers.
Qingshan wanted to save the people and followed them all the way to the county seat.
Liu Lang's comment: The transition is very good! In the language of things, the scenery is already alive!
Shelter from the epidemic
Song Shanling (Jiangsu)
The vines and roses gradually bloomed, and the swallows flew again.
Spend the day in your new home, standing on the balcony and standing on the terrace.
Wu Xiaohui commented: Trapped at home due to the epidemic, watching the flowers slowly open in front of the window, swallows flying around, one moment in a daze on the balcony, one moment in a daze on the terrace, Xiao Suo is boring, bored. The scenes and mentality of staying at home to avoid the epidemic are described very vividly. Also: the poet is too humble, can a house with a terrace be called a snail dwelling? What a mansion! It reminds me of two poems that Yan Shu called the highest realm of "Versailles": "The song returns to the courtyard, and the lights go down the stairs." ”
Three poems of the epidemic in Nongyin
Zheng Hongni (Anhui)
What is the cold autumn in the third spring? The water flows from the east to the city and passes itself.
The lonely Bund rises and falls, and the partridges look south of the river.
Wu Xiaohui commented: The tide hit the empty city lonely back.
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The fertile water flows east for an endless period, and the begonias are difficult to withstand the wind.
Rambling "turn" on the hot search, how many people are overwhelmed.
Wu Xiaohui commented: I have a relationship in my heart.
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Another spring peach plum blossom, the wall head apricot has sour teeth.
Linping only said "add meals", sleep calmly is home.
Wu Xiaohui commented: I also heard that I was persuaded to add food.... Homosexuals are sad....
Spring City
Chen Xijun (Shanghai)
Spring city spring has not returned in spring, and it is difficult for Lu Leng Xishan to pick up wei.
The city corner oil oil wheat empty show, the alleys of gun belly when hungry.
However, on the law forbade Qin Miao, it is not understood that leniency and strictness govern Shu Si.
Bo Cang killed the turbulence and held the soil, and what was the water for nine years?
Wu Xiaohui commented: There is no word to write about the epidemic, and there is no word not to write about the epidemic. The Four Classics: Cai Wei, Qin Miao, Wu Hou Ancestral Temple, and Bo Cang zhi shui. Understand the four classics, the meaning of which is self-explanatory. This poem is thick and simple, and the compassion is deep. There is truth in this, to discern what has been forgotten.
Nan Gezi returned home to see the small courtyard peach blossoms
He Qisan (Anhui)
Dream of escaping Qin together, relying on each other and being close to each other. Do not follow the flowing water and red dust. And I'm in a small courtyard.
There are still tears in the eyes, and only jun is involved. The partition wall opens like a cloud. But borrow a peach blossom tree to recognize the door.
Wu Xiaohui commented: A school of Taoyuan weather. The next is particularly good, the film is exquisite, and the ending sentence conveys the spirit.
Overnight stay in Yunyang Phoenix Flower and Fruit Mountain
Safety East (Sichuan)
Fengshan came out of the sky, reaching out and reaching out to the stars.
Lin Yu's wind passed through his ears, and the flowers and clouds took advantage of people.
Count the tea rhymes, and the dream marks are new overnight.
But enlightened nature, the heavenly heart is close to the neighbor.
Yang Qiang commented: The first sentence writes the height of the mountain, and the second sentence embodies this height and slightly exaggerated. The fourth sentence, "Flowers and clouds take advantage of people", is written skillfully, and the word "take advantage" writes the image of the cloud with affection and vividness. The sixth sentence, "A night of dreams is new", the language is also clear and handsome.
Climbing the Jingjiang River Embankment borrows MengFuzi's "Tiansha River Evening Sitting"
Liao Guohua (Hubei)
Watanabe tree, white hair to Zhao Ke.
The gulls and birds are exhausted, and the wind and flowers are sitting on many.
There is no accounting for the deviation, and there is a full food.
The ears roared, thinking about the letter and Ho.
Yang Qiang commented: The first four sentences are better. With its own white hair, the first link contrasts with the Zhao Ke of the black oak tree, without saying a word of emotion, but the emotion is contained in it. The jaw link "gulls and cranes are exhausted, and the wind and flowers sit on many", which is delicately written. Straight to see the gulls will be exhausted, the wind and flowers are all over the ground, you can see that you have been sitting for a long time, and the scenery is fascinating. The phrase "wind and flowers sit on more" seems to be derived from Wang Wei's "sitting for a long time and falling flowers".
Qingsong Hui tea until the end of the night deep sleep can not turn to the old mountains and waters of the past people
Meng Xiangrong (Guangdong)
Send the spring breeze to the end, and think about the old state.
At this time blowing snow milk, intuition on Qingjiang.
Yidao Mountain, Okashu Moon Half Window.
Drink deep people do not sleep, listen to dreams forced the city to fall.
Yang Qiang's comments: The sentence is strong. The first sentence is to see the rhyme, the jaw is the most open, "at this time blowing snow milk", the real write the small scene in front of you; "intuition to Qingjiang", fictionalize the imaginary big scene. The two realms are by no means the same, but give people a sense of déjà vu, so the word "intuition" is linked. The neck link is steady, and the last sentence "Listen to the dream forced the city to fall", is not very understandable.
Nongyin Valley Rain Stings live in the southern law improvisation
Wu Jin (France)
Birdsong spring and evening, valley rain clear.
The grass is soft against the wind, and the flowers are light with dew.
The morning light is full of danyu, and the twilight peak is horizontal.
The business is sufficient, and it is advisable to sow and cultivate at the right time.
Yang Qiang commented: The first four sentences write Jing Qingli. The third sentence, "The grass is green and soft against the wind", is written delicately; the fourth sentence, "HuaFei with dew is light", slightly unstable, and Huafei may not be able to bring dew.
Guest Profiles in this issue
Guest Rankings In alphabetical order
Zhang Qingkai is a famous scholar, and he is the master and idle bard of the idle bard. "Little Building Listening to the Rain" poetry platform editor. He is the author of "Poetry Manuscript of Idle Yinju" (Henan Literature and Art Publishing House, 2013 edition), and "Poetry of Idle Yinju" to be zi.
Liu Lang's original name was Liu Wenge, the character abandoned, the lord of the Rose Valley, and the net name Yelü Agar. Born in Kangping in 1966, he graduated from the Department of Chinese of Liaoning University in 1989 and loves poetry, books, paintings and archaeology. He has been engaged in poetry creation for more than 30 years, and is a member of the Chinese Poetry Society, the rotating chairman of the Liao Poetry Alliance, the deputy secretary-general of the Liaoning Provincial Yanglian Family Association, the president of the Tieling Poetry Society, the executive president of the Longshou Poetry Society, and the editor of the poetry platform of "Listening to the Rain in the Small Building".
Wu Xiaohui is the director of the Creation Department of the Modern and Contemporary Working Committee of the Chinese Poetry Society, the deputy director of the Research Center for Contemporary Poetry, the deputy secretary-general of the Hunan Poetry Association, the director of the Youth Poetry Working Committee of the Hunan Poetry Association, the executive president of the Xiangjiang Poetry Society, the vice president of the magazine "Poetry Hundred Families", and the editorial board member of the magazine "Frontier of poetry".
Yang Xuexiao is known as Emperor Xiangzi, vice president of Tang Society. Zhejiang Satellite TV's first "Up, Poetry" final champion. He has won the second "Tan Keping Cup" Youth Poetry Creation Award, the third "National Poetry Competition" poetry list, the first "Haiyue Cup" poetry competition poetry volume first, the third word department final. He served as a judge of the poetry department of the "Lan XiangQing" poetry competition and a judge of the poetry department of the second "Xiangtianhua Cup" poetry competition.
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Revisit Gaizhu Mountain
Zhang Xuefang (Zhejiang)
The mountain cover is green bamboo, and the wind depicts ink drawings.
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