Weekly Jade Trial (283) | Guests [Chen Tingyou, Chu Baozeng, Wang Hailiang, Chen Yinyi]

preface

The weekly magazine contains the yuye shiye, which is evaluated to try it, so it is called "weekly jade test". The Book of Verses has clouds: "If it is like cutting, it is like grinding." "Jade is bright and bright, Shenfa will be conducive to appreciation; jade flaws are slightly flawed, and points may be beneficial to the instrument." Poetry friends exchange, exchange collisions, brainstorming, is also expected. The public heart of the critic, the peace of the poet, the appreciation of the reader, the heart of the editor, the holding of these four hearts, the common elegant thing, is not happy!

In this issue of Xiaolou's "Weekly Jade Test" column, guests are invited to choose a number of first comments and publish them in [Xiaolou Weekly (288): 2022 Issue 18]. (Those who voluntarily participate in the Xiaolou [Weekly Jade Test] column, please pay attention to the public account first, and the next guest will leave a message from the back of each weekly or weekly magazine, and choose a number of comments and publish them on all platforms of Xiaolou.) All kinds of xiaolou's comment works will be published in the "Xiaolou Recommended Poems" column group fixed in the "Chinese Poetry Education" paper journal. If you have any objections, please leave a message to contact the editor. ）

Mountain line

Song Shanling (Jiangsu)

As soon as he heard that the city was unsealed, he hugged Qingshan.

Deep bamboo reflects the clear stream, and the breeze shakes the green grass.

Birds are cool under the pine, and clouds are good around the forest.

If you want to ask the begonia flowers, who says that spring is old?

Chen Tingyou commented: After years of war and epidemics, lockdowns are common. The poet starts from unsealing, embraces the mountains and explores the bamboo, chases the grass, listens to the birds and clouds, and finally ends at the begonias, ending with the spring not getting old. Reading the lung capacity increases, and the turbidity in the abdomen is eliminated.

Chu Baozeng commented: The law of servants is written less, the explanation is not easy to write, can not write a superior level, it is easy to be ridiculed, many authors in order to reduce the constraints on the battle, the law of five words changed to "Mountain Chazi" words. This poem begins and turns in an orderly manner, and the sound rhythm is stable to the battle, and it goes without saying. The biggest advantage is that it is realistic, with the scene chronicle, quiet and able to show, resentment and no hatred, really gentle and generous!

Wang Hailiang commented: Seven sentences in succession under the unsealed sentence are beautiful in the mountains, and the joy and mood can be seen. In the mountains, the age is late, and the spring light can be replenished. It is derived for the tail link.

Chen Yinyi commented: "Birds are greedy for loose and cool", it seems that no one has seen this sentence before, and there is no trace between the Tang and Song Dynasties, a good sentence! Good sentence!

Nong Yin Gu Yu ShuShi (New Rhyme)

Kong Mei (Huainan)

Poetry and shan mean shan, valley rain pouring spring and spring is also cold.

The bucket room consumes the taste of leisure, and the surrounding falls into the lazy space.

Pick up some moonlight at the bottom of the cup, and grab the sound of the wind to the side of the dream.

Even if the clouds are infinitely large, only from the twilight to drink cooking tobacco.

Chen Tingyou commented: I have always advocated flat water rhyme, and I am biased against the new rhyme direction. But reading this work, the meaning is very clear, the words are very smooth, and the sudden feeling is like drinking a sweet spring, like a spring breeze. Poetry is not in rhyme, but also in faith.

Chu Baozeng commented: Poetry with new rhymes, I like. The whole poem is fresh and fresh, the pulse is smooth, the tossing and turning is calm, the swing is spontaneous, boring and not irritable, stretched and not frivolous, and the author's state of mind is very peaceful. The whole poem can be summed up at the beginning and the end can be put away, the poem does not see entanglements, the cover people have no entanglements, and the shape is harmonious. The "bucket room" of the "bucket room" of the jaw joint is not working on the "four circumferences", and the word "grasping handle" in the neck joint is suggested to be replaced by a more elegant word.

Met sixty years ago with the same window

Jiang Jihui (Jiangsu)

Try to shout the name of the milk, and feel more kissed.

Look at the snow, high-fives to see innocence.

Half a lifetime is short, a thousand glasses of old wine.

Don't leave a phone at any time, WeChat "a branch of spring".

Chen Tingyou commented: The scene is simple, the narrative is pure, the language is simple, it is not carved, but it has a different taste.

lamp

Fan Dongxue (Hunan)

Night and night hung high in Dozu, and the clear light was never far from red dust.

Greet the late-night travelers attentively, and look at the lost and lost people.

Chen Tingyou commented: Unique vision, accurate description, grasping the essence, and doing the best of the chant secrets.

Spring plowing

Huang Congming (Chongqing)

Into the night mud incense dream planting, the west mountain falling moon provokes chickens.

The farmer got up early to carry the plough, and the dog barked four or five times at the head of the village.

Chen Tingyou commented: This work has the ancient style of compassion for farmers and encourage farmers, which is particularly rare. Today, I am carrying a plough, and I don't know if I can get rid of poverty?

The way forward

Huang Xu (Shanghai)

Even if you have the Big Dipper in your heart and pile up your talents.

But non-Pengdao Immortals, in the end life is a pinch of ashes!

Chen Tingyou commented: Everyone has only one destination, and there will be a handful of gray ears in the end. What a foot! Ambitious, highly intelligent, parents hope, family and country, self-determination and hard work, the future is promising.

Bu Operator wrote on wedding anniversary

Zi Chunying (Hebei)

Memories are strung together into poems, and sentences are locked in the heart. After walking through Shaohua, I still qingqing me.

Frost-stained sideburns, just like maple red wrapped. Rough hand cooking tea to remember the exchange, print a plum flower.

Chen Tingyou commented: Yellow silk young woman, grandson, this work to bear!

The road saw the fall of the red imagination

Duan Wei (Wuhan)

The cold of the summer suddenly arrives, and the flowers are faded and sighed.

A monk with a weak crown picked up the robe.

Chu Baozeng commented: President Duan used Chinese rhymes to encourage Bao zeng. The title is "Imagination", so that readers can also "imagine" at will. In my "imaginary" poem, a monk is The President of Duan, and although President Duan is older than the Mandate of Heaven, his heart is full of green grass, and his psychological age is weak. It is impossible to make up for the robes, and the irreparability of things does not mean that the feelings are not replenishable. Life is alive, ethics are constant, who is not as good as a monk? Who is willing to be a monk? Last resort also! It is not impossible to act in secret and indulge your thoughts expressionlessly. It seems to be an absurd little poem, but in fact it is filled with dark matter in the world of life. A good poem that is rare to see.

Nong Yin Twilight Spring by window

Tang Tiyi (Beijing)

The acacia flowers are fragrant, and the tall tree birds are singing.

Watch the pair of magpies and ride the wind freely.

Chu Baozeng commented: Not the magpie is free to walk, but the heart is free to walk.

Drinking with Brother Chen Yuan

Jiangheyou (Hebei)

Forget about human affairs for a while, and follow the king to do this cup.

The soup head listened to the nine boils and read the next three times.

Happy and tired, sad and happy.

When the benevolent healer is in business, the rest of the matter is even more guessed.

Note: Brother Yuan is a provincial pediatric critical care specialist.

Chu Baozeng commented: The jaw link "soup head" and "reading down", "nine boiling" and "three times" to catch each other is very clever and clever. There seems to be a contradiction between the neck link "happy and tired, sad and happy" and the first sentence "temporarily forget human affairs".

Twilight Spring is self-titled

Wang Yuying (Hebei)

It was originally a getaway, and there was no reason for it.

Only sparse and partial, ugly without jaws.

One sleep and three poles, the lonely face is full of spring.

Fall in the wind to sweep, cold and summer to return to the wheel.

Chu Baozeng's comments: Focus on the confrontation of this poem. Although the "Wing Chun" of the Jaw Union is slightly more lenient to the "Han Qi", it still adheres to the principle of corresponding to the right words, which is a good person. The neck joint belongs to the superior flowing water pair, and the four numbers "one", "three", "lonely" and "full" are concatenated into two words that four people are familiar with, without pretense, natural and free. This is how battles should be fought, work and live, skillfully do not lose weight, separate and unbroken, solemn and not lose their spirit. If the correlation in mathematics is used to evaluate the battle, the correlation coefficient of the upper and lower two is preferably between 0.4 and 0.6, the correlation coefficient of 1 is the palm, and the correlation coefficient of 0 is the partition. If you have to find a disadvantage, it is that the correlation coefficient of the jaw joint is close to 0.8.

Crickets

Chen Kezhi (Wuhan)

Mo started a dispute over small things, and Li Lu gong was light.

Idleness is self-inflicted, muttering to whom to listen.

Chu Baozeng commented: The biggest highlight of this poem is the title of the word "cricket", if the title is changed to "self-interpretation", the value drops sharply, such as "diamond" to "zircon", "crystal" to "glass", "lover" to "maid". Gu Ying can only be self-pitying, no shadow is difficult to pity, with crickets as a mirror, the mirror outsider advises the mirror in the shadow, the virtual reality refers to each other, the subject and the guest are related, so it is art. The author let the four sentences suspected of playing oil poetry slip gorgeous turn, good means also!

In the evening, take a walk on the Wuchang River

He Zhengbiao (Zhejiang)

A layer of rain and a layer of shade, gilded to the early morning sun.

The embankment retains the fishing pleasure, and the lean bamboo is planted obliquely on the heart of the wave.

Chu Baozeng commented: Oblique bamboo, by no means intentionally planted obliquely, is inadvertently due to external forces and grows obliquely, it is recommended to change to "oblique thin bamboo to wave heart".

Pondside begonias

Wang Yue (Anhui)

A tree is planted on the shore, and the wind sways and the shadow lingers.

Tourists do their best to look good, secretly looking down in the mirror.

Chu Baozeng commented: In order to be able to "look at the mirror" in the last sentence, the first sentence "leaning on the shore" is needed, and the poetry is rigorous. If things are ruthless, only the poet has feelings, it cannot communicate, and if there is no communication, it is stagnant or dead, and the importance of this anthropomorphism is also the value of this concluding sentence. This poem has a little flaw, both the flowers are blooming, the vast majority of flowers will not be about to decline and bow their heads, because the wind will have a certain angle change, change to "secretly tilt their heads to look in the mirror" Can you? The slanted head plus the oblique eye can also look in the mirror.

Kiyoheiraku waits for the car

Shen Xiaoming (Zhejiang)

Wait for the car to rain, there are umbrellas colorful lifting. I hate that the wind is blocked, and it was a beautiful woman next to me.

The flower umbrella is bright and the sky is covered, and the black hair is flowing at the shoulder. Listening to my two thanks, she just smiled and said nothing.

Chu Baozeng's comments: Although the content is ordinary, it is enough to attract interest. Only the aftertaste is dull, and it is difficult to stimulate the reader's association.

dandelion

Wang Jianqiang (Hebei)

Blow small yellow flowers and blow them into white velvet umbrellas.

Career is dreaming, dreaming of the end of the world.

Wang Hailiang commented: The first two sentences are two "blows", and a lifetime has passed. The last two sentences of two "dreams", the dream also blew away. Use rhymes to show the ancient clumsiness; use heavy words, lively and dynamic.

May Day old house vacation occasionally

Summer and Autumn (Hubei)

Green fat red thin day, wind and moon joy boundless.

Dou Xuan's waist is bulging, and the lotus palm is exposed.

The old garden looks for the old traces, and the wild fun enters a new chapter.

Mo laughs at the poor and happy, and the source of happiness is natural.

Wang Hailiang commented: "Dou Xuan's waist is drummed, and the lotus palm is exposed to the circle", vivid and cute. In particular, Dou Xuan's waist is full of drums, which is quite joyful. Poor students, mostly refer to poor students, combined with the following, the author should want to express the meaning of civilian life. Discretionary.

Twilight

Ye Yongxin (Guangdong)

The former village is new and green, and the smoke and water are endless.

Rain leaks a thousand shadows, and a few trees and flowers are left behind in spring.

The bald-headed bird is there, and the blue-eyed old man is credited.

Lang Ri passed through the clouds, and the floor was suddenly covered.

Wang Hailiang commented: The language is new and mellow, and the next word is exquisite. Leaks, omissions, in, credit, can not be done without hands.

Steamed wisteria flowers

Hu Peng (Beijing)

A spoonful of green salt kills wisteria, and half a scoop of rice noodles is steamed.

Three spring beautiful colors for food, mouth blessing eye rim double full.

Note: Kill, mix with salt into the ingredients to order the leaves.

Wang Hailiang commented: Can see and eat, not to live up to life, not to live up to the spring light. "Kill", the native language into the poem, more flavor.

Ningxiang Shilian sent his blessings to Brother Yang Zongyi in the 30th year

Liao Guohua (Hubei)

Tunan all the way with whom, poetry and wine high huai road to the end of the poor.

Good to put a little drunk to pay the night rain, so cast magic to the autumn wind.

Yin Qing slightly occupied the lake Xiangsheng, and the regrets were all dissipated in the brigade.

This coincides with the celebration of Jia Ri, and the epidemic should not be empty.

Wang Hailiang commented: True feelings, far-reaching sustenance. Secondary two-way approach.

On the 20th anniversary of his father's death, he returned to his hometown to exhibit the tomb

Yang Xinyue (Hunan)

Twenty years of change in the world, the drizzle of rain xiao worship the tomb door.

Eyes full of horizontal branches and shoots, sad and caressing words are still warm.

Murahara hesitated to find traces, so the old man asked his descendants attentively.

The wind and dust of the long time are also white, and He Kan returns and dusk.

Wang Hailiang commented: "The village is hesitant to find traces, so the old man asks his descendants attentively", and the details are warm. "The wind and dust for a long time are also white, and he can return and dusk", deep feelings.

Epidemics

Li Lizhong (Zhejiang)

Encountering each other from afar, avoiding the epidemic is like fleeing Qin.

The rats fight for dawn, and the leprosy worms are very ghostly.

The door is sealed with a puppet, and the mouth of the hood is towards the golden man.

Tonight Tianxin Moon, away from the evil people.

Chen Yinyi commented: Under the epidemic situation, the whip painted by Brother Li Zhong has penetrated into the back of the paper. The great poet is self-righteous.

Send a spring greeting

Meng Xiangrong (Guangdong)

If you want to send spring home, I don't know where spring is.

One day the miasma rained, and the four wilds walked demons.

The wine can be continued, and the old heart is not wavering.

The people standing on the fence stand small, and the birds listen to the songs.

Chen Yinyi commented: Speaking about current events in his own language, it is not exciting, it is a master

Cute dish

Chi Jian (Zhejiang)

Or the Immortal Mountain Wild Plant, the color is still tender green and far away from the dust.

Don't feel that the taste is astringent and bitter, and it is easy to taste on weekdays.

Note: Cute vegetables, mostly wild in the mountains, can be eaten and medicated.

Chen Yinyi commented: The mountain is interesting, simple and fresh and has many curiosities, which is the advantage of Brother Chi's bones, and others cannot imitate it. Dialect "Meng" "Meng" close to the sound, before I have always thought that the "Meng" of Meng Cuisine is the "Meng" of Meng Po, so the food can forget the worry!

Guo Yushan is pregnant with Youren

Peng Minghua (Guangzhou)

A strange peak is born on the sea, and the layers of mountains are stacked on top of each other.

Once the ghosts sought new caves, now there are houses barking.

There is no longer a blessing on the ridge, and the stone will finally replace the Zheng family soldiers.

Before the national martyrage came to the public, he cried and buried me in the high mountains and looked at the peace.

Note: Yushan is 3992 meters high, the highest peak on Taiwan Island, and during the Japanese colonial period, yushan was the highest peak in Japan. In the 1960s, the Kuomintang authorities in Taiwan erected a bronze statue of Mr. Yu Youren at the top of Yushan Mountain, bringing the jade mountain to an altitude of 4,000 meters. Thirty years later, the bronze statue was cut off twice and could not be found, but had to be replaced by a stone.

Chen Yinyi commented: On the mountain, the state is martyred!

Guest Profiles in this issue

Guest Rankings In alphabetical order

Chen Tingyou is a member of the Chinese Writers Association, a member of the Chinese Calligraphers Association, and a standing director of the Chinese Poetry Society. A native of Shenzhou, Hebei Province, born in 1954, he has long served in the Counselor's Office of the State Council, the Central Research Museum of Literature and History, and a member of the commentary committee of the poetry platform of "Listening to the Rain in the Small Building". He served as the director of the Preparatory Office of the China Sinology Center, the first deputy editor-in-chief of the Chinese Calligraphy and Painting Magazine, and retired from the position of inspector. He has published two monographs, "Xi Mo Dong Tu Collection" and "Poetry And Wings", and the novel "Dragon Vein".

Chu Bao zengzi should go, number Yannan Youshi, professor. Born in 1965, a native of Daxing, Beijing. Executive Vice President and Legal Representative of Beijing Poetry Society, Executive Director of Chinese Poetry Society, President of Beijing Poetry Garden Magazine, Honorary President of Dongli Poetry Society, Director of the Jury of the National College "Love Jiangshan Cup" Poetry Competition, Tutor of Beijing University Students Reading Alliance, Deputy of The People's Congress of Haidian District, Beijing.

Wang Hailiang Hebei people, the character Tao'an, the net name Hai Tianyi. He is a member of the Ziyue Poetry Society, the Fenglong Poetry Society, and the Banmutang Poetry Society, and a member of the poetry platform review committee of "Xiaolou Listening to the Rain". He won the 2015 Poetry Journal's Annual Youth Poetry Award.

Chen Yinyi is currently working at the Linhai City Museum. "Little Building Listening to the Rain" poetry platform review committee member. In recent years, he has published a collection of humanities, "Scattered Leaves in the Gui" and "Ask the Edge Collection", compiled and published the "Qianwang Iron Coupon Facsimile Book", planned and presided over the editing of "Pen Bottom Lake and Mountain - Linhai" and "Aral Series" (5 volumes), participated in the compilation of "Linhai Outline" and "Linhai Series", and planned and edited "Chinese Classic Poetry Reader".

Photography / Wang Hailiang Editor / Zhang Xuefang Proofreader / Feng Xiao

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Revisit Gaizhu Mountain

Zhang Xuefang (Zhejiang)

The mountain cover is green bamboo, and the wind depicts ink drawings.

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