Expecting children to be self-conscious is the greatest danger of education

Author:Daughter Hong (Parents Intensive Reading Author)

Recently, I talked to a friend about student education.

"Why, no matter how much effort the teacher has made, some students still have no change in their learning attitudes and behavior habits?"

My friend is a Chinese teacher who has been a class teacher in school for 10 years, from the spirit of graduation to the sad vicissitudes of his face now.

She sighed and said, "XiaoHong, you are still too young, some things cannot be done by the teacher alone, if the parents do not work hard, it is difficult for the child to change." ”

From that moment, I instantly understood:

It turned out that the student I had been trying to change had lost to the two adults behind him.

Indeed, the parent is the one who affects the child's life, if the parent does not cooperate, the teacher will work hard in vain.

Expecting children to be self-conscious is the greatest danger of education

In the first grade, Xiao Wei went to boarding school because of his parents' work.

Even when children come home only one day a week, they can't see their parents.

Later, Xiao Wei's parents simply gave red envelopes and directly handed over the child's life and learning to the teacher's management.

But the teacher is only a teacher, and cannot take the place of the parent.

Because of his parents' long-term laissez-faire of Xiaowei, he not only learned to rank at the bottom of the class, but also formed gangs with other classmates and bullied the weak.

The class teacher has repeatedly reflected to the parents, but in exchange for a few words:

"Okay, teacher, I know, you can help educate, no matter how you educate, we have no opinion."

Even if Xiao Wei was punished by the school, Xiao Wei's parents never went to school, did not communicate with the teacher face-to-face, but only settled the child's mistakes through relationships.

For Xiao Wei's situation, although the class teacher felt sorry, he could not do anything.

Many parents will say when their children commit crimes or their grades decline:

"Learning is the teacher's business, we teach, so why go to school?"

"I don't know how the teachers at school teach, and I can't even figure out a child."

"I'm busy enough to raise my family now, and the school still wants me to deal with the mess."

Now, many parents are busy working and throwing their children to school, but they are throwing their hands in charge and not caring about anything.

Some parents even think that their children will grow up slowly on their own, and many things will be done without teaching. This notion is clearly wrong.

No matter how good the school, no matter how good the teacher, in the child's heart, the position of parent is irreplaceable.

If you want your child to grow up healthily and develop good habits, family education is the key.

Expecting children to be self-conscious is not responsible for their children's lives.

There are never children who have become talented alone, only parents who have been supervising for a long time.

Educating children well is not only a matter for teachers, but also the most important cause for parents in this life.

Parents can't control themselves, and all education is useless

Friends spend money to transfer their sons to key classes, whether it is a classroom teacher or a learning atmosphere in the class, it is an excellent configuration, and many parents can't get in if their children's heads are sharpened.

Not only that, the friend also enrolled his son in a variety of famous teacher classes, as few as 300 times, as much as 200 an hour.

But even if the son has such good learning conditions, not only does he not have a serious attitude, but he has an aversion to learning.

When I went to a friend's house, I found that my father was lying comfortably on the sofa playing games after work, and my mother was staring at her son doing his homework, but he couldn't help but brush his mobile phone.

The son watched his parents happily playing with their mobile phones, but he had to face a bunch of painful and difficult homework, and he would be a little mentally unbalanced.

Even parents don't think learning is meaningful, but mobile phones are fun, how can children fall in love with learning.

My son often complained while writing homework: "Why do students want to study and write homework, is the school trying to kill us?" ”

Adults of course know the importance of learning so that they can have better choices later.

But after the child knows what is called, he can see now.

What parents do is more important than what they say, because children will only imitate their parents' behavior when they have not fully established the three views.

The famous educator Makarenko said: "A parent's requirements for himself, attention to his own behavior, this is the first and most important method of education." ”

Xiaofeng studied at a non-focused rural primary school, and her mother did not go to college, just an ordinary housewife.

On weekdays, Xiaofeng helps his mother wash vegetables and cook after school, and after eating, he consciously returns to his room to write homework.

After washing the dishes, her mother would always read in the living room, although she did not know some words, but she felt that although she could not teach her son, it was okay to study with him.

Many parents complain that their children do not love to learn and do not love to read, but they do not ask themselves whether they love to read?

When parents themselves are not self-disciplined, but desperately demand their children, school education is often difficult to play a role.

Therefore, the most effective way to change the bad habits of children and make children become excellent self-discipline is that parents can see their own problems, constantly improve themselves, and grow up with their children.

The child's failure to grow is the result of the parents' laziness

There is a big grinning girl in our class named Huixuan, who is still serious about learning, but she is stagnant.

Several times she was called to the office to analyze the problems with the learning method and how to improve it.

After each conversation, I will send the points to be careful to Huixuan's parents one by one, so that they can solve the problem with Huixuan.

But every time I asked Huixuan if she understood the words and phrases she had learned, Huixuan always buried her head and gave a negative answer.

Obviously, Huixuan's parents only responded superficially and did not take practical action.

Therefore, I took time out of my spare time to tutor Huixuan, but as time went on, I became more and more unable to do so, because Huixuan was not the only one in the class who had problems.

In fact, the teacher does not have three heads and six arms, let alone a god, and the child's education needs the cooperation of parents after all.

Many parents will push the responsibility for their children's poor learning and bad habits to the teacher, in fact, they want to liberate their own time.

In the long run, even if the teacher is strict and excellent, parents do not put their children's education at ease, and children will procrastinate and resist learning.

Chen Baosheng of the Ministry of Education said: "Family education is not in place, which will not only offset the effect of school education, but also cause a certain negative impact on children's development." ”

Stealing lazily in the child now may become the regret of the child's life.

Once education fails, the hard-earned money for a lifetime will not be able to withstand the child's failure for a year.

A child's education is only once in a lifetime and cannot be withdrawn.

The talented girl Gu Ailing not only won two gold and one silver at this year's Winter Olympics, but also was admitted to Stanford University in 2020, and her success is inseparable from the efforts of her mother Gu Yan.

Gu Yan not only pays attention to her daughter's learning, but also cultivates her interests and hobbies.

When Ai Ling skied, she fell on the slippery slope again and again, and Gu Yan was always around to encourage her and let her do it again.

In addition to these, every year Gu Yan also brings her daughter to Beijing to study, improve her grades and feel Chinese culture.

Under the cultivation of Gu Yan, Gu Ailing grew rapidly.

It is not difficult to see that behind every excellent child there is a diligent parent.

Therefore, not being lazy, not slacking off, and actively participating in the child's learning and life is the best education for the child.

The best education is when the teacher is responsible, the parents cooperate, and the students work hard

In a class, the same teacher teaches, but the students are not necessarily the same learning results.

Whether parents attach importance to education, whether they can cooperate with teachers, set an example for children, and whether children take the initiative to learn, are all opening up the gap between children.

It is the teacher who teaches, but the person must be a parent.

If the teacher alone is educated, it is really wrong for the child.

Education is a two-way street, and the better parents and schools work together, the more successful the education will be.

Parents may not be smart, but they must be indispensable on the road of education.

Parents have a validity period for their children's education, and missing the most critical decade, no matter how to make up for it later, will not help.

Raising children is a practice for parents.

In the process of raising children, parents should guide and supervise more, and do not be lazy.

Author's Profile: Daughter Hong, Rich Book Columnist, Article: Parents Evolution, the copyright of this article belongs to Rich Book, unauthorized, may not be reprinted, infringement must be investigated, Rich Book 2018 launched a new book "Good Life"