As you know, childbirth is a very private and intimate event.
Women who have given birth are particularly aware of how much vulnerability and primitive human emotions will be displayed throughout childbirth.
For me, the first and only time I gave birth, I didn't have my own mother by my side. She was far away from home and couldn't be there on the day I gave birth in the hospital.
However, there is one person who really wants to accompany me when I give birth, and that is my mother-in-law.
On the surface, my mother-in-law's desire to be with me in the delivery room seems warm, even considerate. But in fact, my relationship with this woman is very discordant.
From the moment I found out I was pregnant, my mother-in-law became very domineering, she would tell me what I had to do, what I had to buy, and bombarded me with the story of her own three births...
I think she said these horror stories, in part to comfort me, but actually kept me up all night and even made me feel depressed at times.
It's hard for me to understand why some people can say they're trying to help you, but at the same time make you more anxious and they don't even see the impact they're having. That's how I really feel about my mother-in-law.
In terms of my own plans or ideas about having children of her own, it seemed to her that nothing was good enough, so she kept nagging me incessantly.
I'm sure I'm not the only person in the world who has a problem getting along with my mother-in-law.
That's why I, for not allowing her to enter the delivery room.
I tried very hard to explain to my husband that I would be very nervous and upset if she was present, and although my husband loved his mother very much, fortunately, he could understand me. He also understood that his mother might have a desire for control, though only if he knew it made me unhappy. He didn't really understand how much I wished the birth experience was my own private affair.
Having a baby in a hospital, where doctors and nurses are there yelling at you while trying to help you push your baby out, can be a scary and isolating experience.
When I struggle with pain, not letting my mother-in-law into my delivery room means I can have one less person to have an experience I've been traumatized. That's the reality of childbirth, it hurts, it's scary, it makes me show a real state that I don't even want to see.
So for me, it needs to be as private as possible. That meant the room included me, my husband, and any medical staff who needed to be there, and that was it.
Maybe it's because I miss my mom, so I don't want other moms there to be with me. In the time that followed, almost every time I saw her, my mother-in-law would remind me that she had not been able to accompany me in the delivery room, and I just smiled and changed the subject.