Rejected by boys after blind dates, frustration is very strong, how to adjust?

Netizens asked:

Introduced by a friend for the first time on a blind date. I am 93 years old, the appearance of five or six points, the figure is well-proportioned and the height is 156. The man is 85 years old, divorced, has a face value of five or six points, and is 175 in height. After the friend pushed WeChat, the man made an appointment to eat on the same day, the conversation was smooth and pleasant during the meal, and after eating, the man sent me home and said that he would make an appointment next time. I have a good feeling for him, but after a week of going back, I have not contacted me, I am also busy, and then I took the initiative to send a WeChat invitation to Saturday to eat together on Friday, and the man replied "I'm sorry, there is something wrong on Saturday." "The first blind date was rejected by the other party, I think it is still more interesting and talkative, I am not ugly, I have only had one boyfriend, I have a strong sense of frustration after being rejected, I am deeply involved in doubt, and I can't extricate myself." How do I regulate my mindset?

My answer:

Sometimes "talking smoothly and pleasantly" can make people mistakenly think that the other party recognizes you, enjoys your time with you, and gives you the illusion that there is a next time. But it is also possible that it is just out of courtesy that I want to make this meeting end smoothly, give both parties and the introducer an explanation, and that's it.

Specifically, how to judge whether the other party has a good feeling for me or is it out of courtesy? At that time, it was difficult to say, later back home, ask you if you are safe to get home, or tell you that you are very happy today, obviously more talking, and even directly make an appointment to meet next time, then it means that there is a play. If there is nothing, it means that it is cold.

He didn't greet him when he got home, ignored people for the next few days, and even you asked him to say that there was something wrong, if there was really something he would say sorry about Saturday something to change to Sunday okay? So I think your judgment is right, he uses behavior to imply that you say goodbye.

Many times we are not objective enough to evaluate ourselves, in fact, I also have some confusion, sometimes I think it is obviously a piece of cake, and in the end it is inexplicable Barbie Q; but sometimes I feel that I have no drama, just try it, but it has become.

When I was in the three provinces every day, I was often at a loss, I couldn't understand why things in life were so mysterious, I didn't know myself, let alone others. Then I persuaded myself to be confused and did my best anyway, and it didn't matter how the result was, and I didn't have to guess the reason, because many of the reasons were beyond your own comprehension and made no sense.

Like a speculative fiction I've seen before, a female high school student kills her own male teacher, and the motive for the killing is simply because "she thought that teacher saw her privacy." Although it is fictional, many things you don't understand may not exist, but our cognition has not reached that point. And how can you possibly know what other people think?

Even if you ask him why he didn't look at you, he may not say it explicitly, and it may even be that he himself is not clear, only that it does not feel right.

Besides, your so-called appearance value of five or six points is not comprehensive. Is Lori's five or six points comparable to the royal sister's five or six points? Plus you're so much younger than him, maybe the first impression you give him isn't the one he's ideal. It has nothing to do with whether you are good or not.

You said, "The first blind date was rejected by the other party, I think I am still more interesting and talkative, I am not ugly, I have only had one boyfriend, I have a strong sense of frustration after being rejected, I am deeply suspected of myself, and I can't extricate myself." ”

What you want to express is: I feel good about myself, both externally and internally, and I have only had one boyfriend, relatively simple, I have not hated him so much older than me and has a history of marriage, how can he reject me? If I refuse, I should reject him, right? And obviously quite chatty, when he said goodbye, he also said that the next time he made an appointment, let me feel that there is a drama, how can the result be reversed?

So, you question him, and at the same time self-doubt, what you hate is not that you like him and he doesn't like you, but that you feel abandoned, very hurt, feel that you are very defeated, and even men with such conditions have not looked at you and feel very faceless.

He's been through marriage and knows better than you what kind of wife he wants. You can talk again, and all you see is that this man is very good at chatting, and I like to feel happy when I talk to him. But he may have analyzed from the conversation with you that there is a certain gap between you and him at the level of thinking.

Maybe a lot of what he says to you is purposeful to analyze you, the basic of personality and hobbies needless to say, maybe he can analyze your hurry to get married, your attitude towards having children and raising children, your attitude toward spending money, your plans for your future career and life... And so on and a lot of stuff.

He weighs the pros and cons at a deeper level than you, then combines them and comes to the conclusion that you are not the same person.

It's not your problem, and it doesn't mean you're bad or failing.

Whether it suits or not is the only thing he needs to consider.

No two people will be 100 percent compatible. So it's really hard to find the other half that's compatible with each other.

"Failing on a first blind date" is really normal.

Everyone has psychological expectations that during the blind date, the heart will tell you whether the person across from you is what you want.

It's just that some people may be able to determine at once, and some people need to spend a little longer to judge whether this person is suitable for themselves.

I think he's a sane guy, and such a simple and rude way is good for both of you.

Although the seafood is delicious, but I am allergic, so I will keep it in my usual mind and give it up and eat healthy vegetables that suit me. Don't blame anyone, and don't blame yourself.