In "Double Sided Tape", Hu Lijuan made many mistakes in running her marriage with Li Yaping.
For example, there is no bottom line, Li Yaping played an emotional card to show her kindness, he softened his heart, chose to compromise, let Li Yaping achieve his goals; knife mouth, always mouth does not choose words, any dirty words can be spoken, angered Li Yaping, resulting in tragedy; did not know how to deal with the relationship between the mother's family and the in-laws' money, in vain let the parents spend so much money to complete the calculation of Li Yaping's family; did not know how to stop the loss in time, Li Yaping did something to her, almost strangled her to death, she can forgive Li Yaping, instead of returning to the old good, give birth to a son for her.
However, in "Double Sided Tape", Hu Lijuan's biggest mistake is nothing else, or marrying the wrong person. She and Li Yaping and his family are not in harmony with the three views, not a person of the world, and together they will inevitably produce contradictions. From the beginning, Hu Lijuan should not have married Li Yaping.
Writer Anna Kundran said: "The most crucial decision in life is not where to settle down, nor which line of work to make a living, but what kind of person to choose, to hold hands and walk the rest of life." ”
Once this decision is made wrong, it will not only harm himself, but also harm his children, such as Hu Lijuan's son, and his life is so tragic. Mom was beaten to death by Dad's own hands, Dad was in jail, and who should rely on this child in the future.
In fact, in the first chapter of the original book of "Double Sided Tape", it is mentioned that Hu Lijuan's mother is opposed to this marriage.
01. Although Hu Lijuan's mother is a snobber, there is also some truth in the concept of mate selection;
When it comes to Hu Lijuan's mother, it is estimated that most people do not have a good impression of her, thinking that she is vulgar, snobbish, open-eyed, and unforgiving, and Many of Hu Lijuan's problems are learned from her.
Indeed, Hu Lijuan's mother has many shortcomings, lacks education, and opening her mouth and closing her mouth is a "forced" word, which is very vulgar. Moreover, she is indeed a snobbish eye, loves money as fate, and hopes that her daughter will marry a rich foreigner at every turn. When I first saw Li Yaping, I had a lofty attitude and said bad things about Li Yaping to Hu Lijuan in Shanghainese.
However, Hu Lijuan's mother's concept of mate selection still has some truth, after all, Hu Lijuan is her own daughter, and she will never harm her own daughter.
"If you want to live in the future, how many old people's heads can you use your personality?" The old woman's life experience is taught to you for free: men must have the ability, do not try to look good, figure character! Good look trouble! Personality is wrong! Is Napoleon short? king! Men are beautiful is a rice bucket, women are beautiful is a vase, the vase can also sell for a few dollars, the rice bucket is worth a fart! You know what I'm talking about?"
Take Hu Lijuan's father, Hu Lijuan's father is formally working, has technology, her mother died early, and she does not have to worry about the contradiction between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, which is indeed a good object. After Hu Lijuan's mother got married, the reason why she could be so arrogant at home was also because men spoiled their wives.
Writer Zhang Xiaoxian once said: "Don't just love a good person, don't just love an excellent man, don't love only a talented man, don't just love a man who loves you and hurts you, please love a man with responsibility." ”
A responsible man must first have the ability, do not seek great wealth and nobility, at least can support the family, can become the top pillar of the family, can support a family.
Li Yaping's monthly salary at that time was only five or six thousand, not low, but in a metropolis like Shanghai, it was still not enough to see. Moreover, Li Yaping's original family is really too bad.
02. The reason why Hu Lijuan is not Li Yaping is not married is inseparable from the original family;
Why did Hu Lijuan have to marry Li Yaping despite her parents' objections? The first time I watched it, I paid attention to the contradiction between my mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, and did not pay attention to the details of the first chapter. In fact, the reason why Hu Lijuan did not marry Li Yaping was inseparable from the original family.
First of all, Hu Lijuan hates her own environment of growth and is eager to escape the environment of the alley and get rid of the life of a small citizen.
Born in a small family of citizens, Li Juan has always longed to get rid of that chaotic environment, not to tiptoe through the sewage-strewn vegetable market every day; don't hear everything clearly by the next door neighbors; don't have no personal space, squeeze a room with your parents until college; don't have all the neighbors' parents in the short neighborhood neighbors are clear. I don't want her mother to go with the neighbor's sister-in-law to catch this or that in the middle of the night like a thief bone, and then the next day she knows it all over the alley.
Hu Lijuan lived in a small civic family, huddled in a room with her parents until college, and had no free space. Her mother did not cultivate morality, and always shouted Hu Lijuan with unbearable words, which made Hu Lijuan feel very disgusted and bent on getting rid of the growth environment of the original family.
"In the future, I must leave the alley, and the little Shanghai man in the alley will not consider bargaining for a few dishes." This is the basic requirement for Li Juan to find an object.
Therefore, she took a fancy to Li Yaping, who seemed to be loyal and honest from other places.
Secondly, she felt that Li Yaping was good-looking, had a good personality, was quite obedient, and had a lot of face when he took it out.
Others are OK, unlike those stupid playboys, who are quite honest and obedient to people. Find a man, the key is to be easy to use.
However, it is difficult to draw a tiger and paint a skin, to know the face of the person does not know the heart, how a person's character and personality are, can only be seen through a long time together.
Finally, Hu Lijuan believes that marrying a foreigner also has benefits, and there is no need to deal with her in-laws.
Besides, he is a foreigner, far away from his parents, and it is not the same as my father who had no father and no mother? Isn't that your son most of the time?
However, if you marry their son, you are their junior, and if the in-laws want to block the daughter-in-law, it has nothing to do with the distance.
Not long after Hu Lijuan got married, her in-laws came uninvited and moved into Hu Lijuan's house, where she had a fierce conflict.
03. Women, remember, you must polish your eyes before you get married, and turn a blind eye after you get married.
The reason why you have to turn a blind eye after getting married is because Jin is not a perfect person, he can't completely satisfy you, if you are calculating, for some trivial things to quarrel with him, no matter how good a man can't live with you for a long time.
For marriage, choosing a spouse is the first and most critical step, and the reason why most marriages will fail is because you did not choose the right person from the beginning. The first step is wrong, the step is wrong.
Women, don't joke about marriage, don't take marriage as a child's play, remember, mate selection, related to the second half of your life, the original family of your children, is extremely important, sloppy.
END.
Today's topic: What is your view of Hu Lijuan's concept of mate selection? Feel free to share your views in the comments section.