See the world in the ivory tower
With the rationality of jurisprudence, with the temperature of the media
Author: Eight Precepts | Audit: Zhao'an
Proofreader: Yan Nanting | EDIT: Small open
Image source: Network intrusion and deletion
# Book Introduction #
"Be Like a Bird, Fly to Your Mountain"
Author: Tara Westford
Tags: family of origin, education
preface
Since I didn't know the book beforehand, I didn't know it was a memoir until I read the author's self-description at the end of the article.
From this, I am amazed at how powerful the sense of substitution of the work is explained, because without the author's own experience, there would never have been such a specific and vivid narrative.
In my opinion, the English and Chinese names of the book represent its two major intentions respectively.
The English name is Edited, which teaches people the meaning of "education", and the right education can bring about the meaning of life;
The Chinese title, "When You Are Like a Bird, Fly to Your Mountain", is more inclined to warn people to correctly treat the influence of your original family or the external world on you.
From the author's excellent language and the author's rigorous and faithful narration of the event, it is worth calming down and reading well, coupled with the unique and valuable intention of the work, it has an irreplaceable significance.
Brief introduction
The story is about A girl born in the mountains of Idaho, USA, Tara, living in a devout Mormon family, the father insisted on not sending his children to school, only family education; did not believe in the level of hospital medical care, never sought medical treatment when sick; did not trust the government, could not have any connection with the government.
Tara's father was stubborn and even paranoid, suffering from bipolar disorder, bipolar disorder, and ran the farm on weekdays, sorting and collecting waste.
Tara's mother became a midwife at her father's request, started the essential oil business after her father was in a car accident, and went from a lady with her own independent mind to a loyal believer in her husband's wrong thinking.
Tara has five older brothers and one older sister. Among them, the older brother Sean and the older brother Taylor were the two people who had the greatest influence on Tara's life.
Influenced by his father, Sean is violent and paranoid, and has brought a brief moment of joy to young Tara, but more often than not, the irreparable damage caused to Tara by his own violence.
Taylor bravely walks out of her native family and encourages Tara to go to school and encourage her to see the bigger world.
Tara recounts her own experiences from childhood to adulthood, with both pain and warmth. When she couldn't stand the pain her native family gave her, Tara decided to go to college. But because she was incorrectly educated by her original family from an early age, Tara was unable to integrate into her new environment.
Between old beliefs and new civilizations, Tarrag is out of place and lost in self-doubt. Swinging again and again, almost returning to the life it once was.
Fortunately, through education, through continuous learning, Tara finally broke free from the shackles of reflection and reached a reconciliation with herself.
The meaning of receiving education
It is hard to imagine that in the United States at the end of the 20th century and the beginning of the 21st century, there was still such a family, girls could not wear revealing clothes, did not need to wash their hands after going to the toilet, did not even have contact with the government, children could not go to school, sick could not go to the hospital.
These are things that are absolutely wrong in our cognition, and Tara can't see them correctly. She couldn't understand other girls wearing short skirts, and she was determined not to work and study on Sundays because she was a devout believer.
She firmly believed that it was right to teach her in her native family, and that everyone else was a hypocritical believer.
Tara's father was equally adamant that he was right, and he put his faith before he was safe, and he was so indifferent and indifferent after experiencing his family's first car accident, the second car accident, jumping into the trash to heal, his pants on fire, falling from a tray, and almost depriving his loved ones of their lives this time.
Family education is all Tara and her brothers and sisters have to teach, and the content of their homeschooling is completely devoid of scientific knowledge.
They resisted outside education, believing that it was a betrayal of God and a betrayal of faith. And I firmly believe that what my father said is real history and correct science.
It was unfortunate to receive such an education, and everyone tasted the bitter fruit of this mistake, including Tara's father. Tara's father was so steadfast in his faith that it was hard to condemn him, because he thought so from the bottom of his heart.
There is no parent who doesn't want their children to be well, and neither do Tara's parents. As Chinese parents often say: I am for your own good! Yes, most of their parents are for the good of their children, but it is because of their own lack of knowledge reserves that they mistakenly think that everything they do is right.
I think that perhaps schooling is less likely to make big mistakes than homeschooling.
The meaning of education should exist on the right basis, teaching children to learn the bottom line of knowledge and morality, and the upper limit of pursuing truth.
As a supplement to school education, family education should be the true feelings outside of science and truth, and the cultivation and development of individual excellent character.
Put the impact of the family of origin in perspective
It is not difficult to find that under the author's calm text, we can see the love of Tara's original family for her.
Mother Tara was the embodiment of beauty, she understood and supported and loved her children at all times, and she loved her children even though she became a believer in her husband's wrong ideas.
Tara's father was cold and authoritarian, but when a man who hated the government dialed 911 for his children; when a father who hated schooling personally sent his children to school and shed uncontrollably tears, I knew that in Tara's heart there was no longer so unforgivable.
When we see that Tara is almost obsessed with not being able to get out of this terrible original family, we will even be angry that Tara is so weak, but we should understand that it is these loves that make it impossible for Tara to leave cleanly.
It dawned on me that for this once pure warmth, it took too much courage to leave. Blindly being hurt is not a good idea, but leaving is most likely to be condemned by conscience.
We should understand, understand Tara's indecisiveness, and understand those who, like Tara, have been hurt by their original family but have not been able to get out of it. The impact of the family of origin on a person is far greater than we can imagine, and it is so great that people cannot get rid of it for a lifetime.
Leaving cleanly and crisply is undoubtedly too cold-blooded, and not leaving is an endless internal friction.
Then, please keep those children who have been hurt by their original families as far away as possible, bravely refuse to be abused by the family, refuse to continue to be hurt, and please bravely choose to "break off their relatives".
As Tara put it in an interview: "You can love someone and still say goodbye to him." You can miss someone day by day, but you can still be happy that it has disappeared from your life."
Some people may be able to exist in your life in a different way that is farther away, without having to get too close or condemning themselves.
There are many people who say they don't like this book, that it is a story of suffering, that it is meaningless. Of course, there are also many people who like this book very much, saying that people who have personally experienced it can empathize, and people who can't read it are very lucky.
I have never had such a painful experience, but I truly understand this feeling, and there are many friends around me who are in this pain.
When I finished reading the book and getting to know the author, the questions that had bothered me for a long time had answers.
End
"I know you love me, but that's not the problem."
Love is pure, but it should not be a reason to coerce anyone, you should be like a bird, fly to your mountain!