Zhu Yongxin once said: "In all the problem children, the reasons for their families can be found. "Family education is the foundation and key to the foundation of our entire education chain."
Today, for you to sort out Zhu Yongxin's 10 points of experience on family education, teachers and parents together to read!
First, respect for children is the starting point of family education
The Austrian psychologist Alfred Adler said, "Lucky people are cured of childhood all their lives, and unfortunate people are cured of childhood all their lives". Now psychological science has found that almost all the problems in an adult can be found in his childhood life. Therefore, the impact of childhood on a person is very important.
And many of the wonders and greatness of children are something we have not yet recognized. How do children understand the world, and how is their personality formed? We must acknowledge that these problems are not recognized. Therefore, to a certain extent, due to the lack of awareness of the objects of our education, many educational mistakes have been caused, and many educational methods are unfounded, but have been handed down from generation to generation. Much education is not based on a truly scientific understanding of the child, sometimes because science itself is not yet mature.
I think that the basic understanding of children, or the correct view of children, is a starting point for our education and the starting point for our entire family education. Specifically, how to educate children is the concept of children, which is reflected in the different parenting styles of different parents and different families and the views on basic issues. The concept of filial piety under the stick and so on is problematic and not worth advocating.
Parents should regard children as equals, people with independent personalities, and we must consciously realize that we respect childhood. With a respect for the child's current life, respect for the child himself as a person, many of our educational methods will naturally change.
Second, helping children build self-confidence is the key to family education
The family is the cradle of children's lives, the first place for people to receive education after birth, parents are the first teachers of children, and what parents bring to children often determine what kind of person the child will become. People's cognitive styles, behavioral habits, and personality traits are all formed in childhood. The family is the preparatory school of the school, and should advocate life education in family education, and attach importance to the cultivation of children's character, personality, morality and habits.
In addition, as a parent, it is most critical to help the child build self-confidence and help the child find himself. Parents should be able to understand their children, find that children accept children, and now many parents are not concerned about their own children but other people's children, taking other people's children as a benchmark, and like to use their children's shortcomings to compare the strengths of other children. That's painful. Parents should learn to understand their children accurately, follow their own nature, and assist their children in their growth.
The best education is to help the child become himself
Nowadays, our parents often use a standard - the standard of Peking University and Harvard to raise their children. Use a standard one model to raise children, and in the end most people are losers. This is a manifestation of the current social anxiety, and it is a problem with our social evaluation system.
Many people see going to elite schools as a model of success for families, parents, and children, and I think the best education is to help the child become himself. Let children do what they want to do, learn what they want to learn, let everyone find themselves, and become a better version of themselves in order to be happy.
Of course, these are not so easy to evaluate but a subjective experience. The lives of those who are truly happy are not the same, they all have different lives, so I think the best education is to help people grow continuously, to constantly surpass themselves, to help people live happier, as long as this is done, family education is successful, which is also the purpose of family education.
Fourth, it is important to accompany children, and being together is education in itself
Children come to the family and you become a community, this is the fate of life, how can you cherish the time with your children? In fact, we know that when a child actually leaves you, it's hard for you to want to be with him. So the time to really be together is very limited, and being together is education in itself. I think this is very critical, why?
Because you and your children are eating together, talking together, communicating and learning all the time, there is an interesting study in Western psychology, and they found that the vocabulary of children is directly and positively correlated with the vocabulary of parents communicating at home, especially at the dinner table.
You're talking about politics, and the child may be interested in politics in the future; if you're complaining, the child may be full of complaining emotions. Everything that happens to you in the family will have a direct impact on the child. Why do we say that there should be parent-child reading, and there should be sufficient communication between parents and children? Many of us parents think that there is no point in not talking to their children too much, in fact, everything you say, even if he does not understand it today, will become an important part of the thinking that makes up his brain.
More important is companionship and living together, which will determine whether the whole family has a common destiny, and we make a proposition: read together, write together, and live together. The tone is companionship, and the impact of companionship on children is very important.
Families without reading will never have a real education
The seeds of reading are sown in the family. The Reading Handbook introduces a poem, "You may have unlimited wealth, boxes of jewelry and chests of gold." But you'll never be richer than I am, and I have a mom who reads to me. "Reading is an important source for children to have a rich spiritual life, and the cultivation of reading ability, the cultivation of reading interest, and the cultivation of reading habits begin from the family."
For children, childhood reading is associated with education, and a family that does not read will never have a real education.
After reading these books, children begin to enjoy reading. Why is early childhood reading important? I have always believed that those children's books are indeed different from the books read by adults, and children's books will contain the most beautiful things of human beings in the fate of individuals and animals, and build your values.
Sixth, on the cornerstone of the excellent traditional tutoring concept
The building of modern tutoring was built
For thousands of years, traditional tutoring has accumulated a valuable wealth in three aspects. First of all, traditional tutoring regulates family education through family rules, family training, family style, etc., and educates children with systems and rituals. Second, traditional tutoring emphasizes that morality is the first and that being a person is the foundation of education, which is consistent with the modern educational concept of "li de shu ren". One of China's earliest educational programmatic works, "University", regards The supreme goodness of Mingde as the fundamental goal of all education: "The way of the university is in Mingmingde, in being close to the people, and in stopping at the highest good." ”
Third, traditional tutoring focuses on setting an example for parents, emphasizing children's behavioural training and scientific methods. Teaching by example is more important than words, and Confucius advocated that "his body is upright, and he does not act according to orders." His body is not righteous, although he does not obey the order."
However, we must pay attention to the analysis and abandonment of the scum in traditional tutoring that does not conform to the concept of modern education, such as punishment education, etc. Only by cleaning up the poison of traditional tutoring can we establish a modern family education system.
Motherhood is a woman's most sacred vocation
Fatherhood is the best job for men
Mothers are the most sacred vocation of women, and Frobel, an important founder of modern early childhood education, once said: "The fate of the people is not so much in the hands of those in power as in the hands of mothers." Therefore, we must strive to inspire mothers, the educators of humanity. "The mother is an irreplaceable role in the process of educating the child, especially in the initial stages of the child's birth, and the role of the mother is not replaced by anyone. As a mother, you need to read aloud to your child as soon as possible, tell stories, cultivate your child's reading habits and interests, and create a harmonious family atmosphere for your child.
Father is a tough title that means responsibility and responsibility. To be a good father, the role is actually two key words. One word is "role model" and the other word is "companionship." I think fatherhood is the most important job for men. Fathers do not have such a strong attachment relationship with children as mothers, fathers are more rough and simple, and getting along with fathers can make children learn the courage to face difficulties, and children are more adventurous, so companionship is also a very important duty of fathers.
Family education is irreversible, but it can be changed
Most parents have not received scientific training, scientific parenting knowledge training, so parents are often prone to mistakes. So what if you make a mistake?
We say that family education is irreversible, but it can be changed, and the most important thing is to start today, starting from the present, with better methods, greater enthusiasm, more positive efforts, and more honest attitudes. Parents want to change their children first of all to change themselves, your new understanding of life, the world affects your own behavior, will also be passed on to the child, I think any change will not be late, of course, if the critical period is difficult to change, which requires greater efforts. Therefore, parents are also warned that they need to do their best to approach and understand education when their children are young.
The success of education lies in the existence of good habits
Mr. Ye Shengtao said that education is to cultivate habits, and whether education is successful depends on whether good habits have been formed. Sports is not to see how high the jump, how fast to run, how good to play, but to see whether there are good fitness habits. If you have excellent sports performance, but you eat and drink and don't exercise, and your body is also very bad, this is not called sports success. Education is to develop the habit of being full of curiosity about the world, constantly learning independently, and constantly charging yourself, rather than taking 100 points when reading, and not even reading books in society.
The new education reform has an action called one thing per month, and let children do one thing every month to cultivate good habits. For example, learn to eat this month. There are many habits to cultivate in eating, not only etiquette, but also many things related to habits.
For example, learning to walk, walking also has habits, of course, there are many normative things behind the habits, we say not to run a red light, which means to abide by the rules, and obeying the rules is a habit. Psychological research has found that a good habit needs to be trained for 21 consecutive days, and families need to help children develop good living habits.
Education doesn't just happen on campus
Life itself is the best education
Through this epidemic, we can deeply understand that education does not only happen in schools, life itself is the best education. Whether it is distance education through the Internet or more emphasis on family education, every link can become a classroom. Using these classes well will not only allow children to learn more things, but also a kind of progress and growth for teachers and parents.
This period of time is a rare time for parents and children to be together for 24 hours, I think that intellectual learning is not a very urgent thing, and now it should be based on parent-child common activities, such as parent-child common games, reading a book together, and then sharing, going to see a movie together, and then discussing communication, as well as parents and children to promote knee-length talk, etc., which may be more beneficial to the growth of children. We especially encourage parents and children to work together to select some of the phenomena in this epidemic as the theme, such as about the virus, about gratitude, about drugs, etc., to complete a common homework, jointly check the data, discuss together, and form a small research report after the epidemic has passed. This will not only be an effective mental training, but also a precious memory shared by parents and children.
Reprint 丨 Primary School Chinese Teacher Magazine Picture | Photo network
Responsible editor 丨 Li Pei Editor-in-chief 丨 Lei Ling
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