Psychology: How to get out of the shackles of "flattering personality" and dominate your own life

People who are insecure in their hearts always want to please everyone around them, they are afraid of getting negative evaluations from others, and even if they are wronged, they must try their best to meet the requirements of others.

For example, if a person has an urgent job on hand, a colleague comes to him for help to do something else, and he wants to reject the colleague in his heart, but because he is afraid of offending the other party, he has to give up his work and help the colleague first.

This personality trait is known in psychology as a "flattering personality," which refers to:

Personality that blindly pleases others and ignores one's own feelings is a potentially unhealthy pattern of behavior, not a personality disorder.

People with the characteristics of "flattering personality" are mostly sensitive, they will always feel troubled by interpersonal problems, because they always like to wrongfully aggrieved themselves to complete others, so they will always feel that they are a supporting role in the lives of others, unable to dominate their own lives.

If you want to get out of the shackles of the "flattering personality" and have the ability to control the value of your own life, you must constantly cultivate your independent will not depend on others in your life.

First, recognize self-worth, everyone is unique in life.

The so-called "self-worth" is your identification of your own self-worth: some people are born proud, such people will feel difficult to get close to; there are also some people born with inferiority, such people dare not get close to others.

Most people with "flattering personality" characteristics have a low value for themselves, and the formation of this inferiority complex may be because of his unfortunate childhood experience, or it may be due to the fact that he has encountered major failures in the journey of life.

The experience of failure in the past has an impact on a person's current life, making him unable to interact with others with a normal mentality, always worried that he will be looked down upon by others.

Showing too much inferiority in interpersonal communication is not a healthy way to interact with people, and your tolerance will not only make yourself angry, but also make the object of your interaction become unscrupulous in front of you.

If you want to change the shackles brought by the "flattering personality", you must first face up to the value of your own life, there is no absolutely perfect person in this world, everyone is unique, and we must have advantages that are worthy of the envy of others.

Only by recognizing the value of self can it be possible to interact with others with a normal and healthy mind.

Second, how to face up to the value of their own existence.

As the saying goes, I am born to be useful, and everyone who comes into this world must have their own talents that have not yet been discovered by others.

People who care too much about the feelings of others, who would rather wronged themselves and accommodate others, even if they lack determination in their careers, he is at least a kind person.

If you want to face up to the value of your own existence, you must explore the shining point from your own personality and make yourself confident.

People with the characteristics of "flattering personality" can let go of their mentality, make themselves sunny and optimistic on the road of life, do not have to be limited to the inherent circle of friends, to accommodate others, but to try to expand their circle of friends, and walk with people who know how to appreciate themselves.

A person's personality and personality formation, and his environment has an inseparable relationship, if a person with the characteristics of "flattering personality", surrounded by respect for him, admire him, willing to use the heart to communicate with him people, he will also become more confident in this circle of friends, and gradually overcome their own character defects.

Only by knowing how to choose an environment that can make you confident can you recognize the value of your own existence and make your personality healthier.

Third, how to gradually get rid of the shackles of "flattering personality" in the inherent environment and dominate your own life.

If a person wants to stand in the world, he must have his own principles and know how to reject others, if he does not know how to refuse in the face of others' requests, others will not only not miss your good, but will think that you are weak and deceitful.

Most people with the characteristics of "flattering personality" will not dare to refuse the demands of others for fear of offending others.

This behavior may seem to be a manifestation of being close to others, but it is actually an unhealthy way of interacting with others based on unequal conditions.

If you want to change this unhealthy mode of interaction with others in the inherent environment, you must have your own principles and know how to refuse the unreasonable demands of others.

For example, refuse to help others when the work at hand is not yet completed; for example, when there is a disagreement with others, do not agree with others, but speak your own opinions.

People's self-confidence is gradually established in daily life, and people with the characteristics of "flattering personality" can only have their own principles! Knowing how to reject others can gradually become confident and have the ability to dominate their own lives.

The characteristic of "flattering personality" is not a personality disorder, it is just an unhealthy behavior pattern, this kind of person will feel inferior in interpersonal communication, resulting in the behavior of preferring to wrong himself and to fulfill others.

In the short term, this kind of behavior of pleasing others may be able to gain the superficial appreciation of others, but in the long run, blindly wronging yourself to complete others will only make yourself more inferior and unhappier.

A person with the characteristics of "flattering personality", if he wants to change his psychological state and thinking mode, he must know how to cultivate his own principles in life and know how to reject others, only in this way will his life path go more smoothly.

(Picture from the Internet, invasion and deletion)