Text/Dahui
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Selfishness is human nature, everyone will have selfishness, and no one will be stupid enough to think entirely of others and leave themselves behind.
When encountering things, we will be the first time to consider for ourselves, this is inevitable, on the basis of self-interest and then to altruism, this is the true side of interpersonal communication, never expect others to love you more than to love themselves, do not expect others to see you more important than yourself.
Acknowledging where people's selfish hearts lie, this is a necessary step for us to mature, do not overestimate human nature, do not overestimate our position in anyone's mind, see clearly the complexity of people's hearts, understand that everyone has a selfish side, so that we will not be too disappointed.
There is nothing wrong with selfishness, and if a person is stupid enough to regard others as more important than himself, then he is the one who suffers the loss in the end.
We all grew up in this way, from the beginning of unreservedly paying to others, to later being used and hurt by people with hearts, only to understand the long dim sum eye. We don't hurt others, but we don't allow others to use themselves like fools.
Don't be too selfless, too selfless people are more likely to be hurt, but also remember not to be too selfish, excessively selfish people, will encounter the betrayal of the people around them, and finally will only make their way narrower and narrower.
In the past, I always felt that those who liked to take advantage of others, always habitually calculated, and had to fight for everything were very selfish, and later found that selfishness that did not hurt others was actually just a kind of self-protection and struggle, and there were more selfish behaviors than these.
A person's greatest selfishness is actually like this.
Interests are paramount, and we will not hesitate to hurt others for the sake of profit
It is human nature to think for one's own sake, to do one's best to fight for one's own interests within a certain range, and to want to save oneself at the first time when encountering things, which is a very normal thing.
If you think about it, it's actually true for each of us. In "Chunjiao Saves Zhiming", when Chunjiao and Zhiming encounter an earthquake, Zhiming shouts that Chunjiao will go together, and Chunjiao will not move because she is afraid of being on the side, and Zhiming will leave her and hide in a safe corner.
At that moment, Zhi Ming's mind only thought of himself. This scene made Chunjiao feel very chilled, and the two people had a very serious quarrel. In fact, Zhiming's performance is the reaction that most people will have. When encountering danger, the first thought that comes to mind in our hearts must be how to save ourselves, and how can we have the leisure to consider others?
Although Zhiming's performance seems to be very selfish, it is human instinct, which can be blamed, but it can also be understood that such selfishness is the common sentiment of people.
You can be selfish, but don't hurt others for your own benefit. A man's greatest selfishness is that he has only interests in his mind and no other emotions, and in his mind, he is completely filled with interests and does not care about anything at all. Even unscrupulous means to achieve the end.
Jack Liu in "Heart Residence" is such a person, he and Gu Qingyu are old rivals, it is common for two people in the workplace to confront each other, but he often gives Gu Qingyu a stumbling block behind the case, snaring, in order to achieve his own interests, he does not hesitate to disregard the interests of the company, and does not hesitate to hurt others, such selfishness is undesirable.
You can benefit yourself within a reasonable range, provided you don't hurt others.
Turning the face is ruthless, using people to face forward without people facing backwards
Everyone has the instinct to seek advantage and avoid harm, and such a phenomenon is also common in interpersonal communication.
Many people are very good at flattery, two sides and three knives, and getting along with people is completely dependent on whether the other party can bring benefits to themselves. When you meet those who are profitable, you completely change your appearance, become extremely attentive, and constantly pat each other on the back. On the contrary, when you meet people who are useless to yourself, you will look very indifferent and completely disdainful of interacting with each other.
In fact, such behavior is not to blame, everyone has their own standard of life, we can not measure others according to the same standard. You disdain flattery and allow these behaviors to exist.
There is nothing wrong with duplicity, in order to achieve their own goals to win over the relationship, there is no mistake in pleasing others, but there are some people who are overly attentive when others are in power, and once the other party falls, they immediately turn their faces and be ruthless, such people are inevitably too selfish.
Gu Xin in "Heart Residence" is such a person, he is a very selfish person, his mind is always only himself, completely disregarding the feelings of others. For the sake of her own future, she did not hesitate to abandon her first love, and came together with the rich woman Ge Yue, and when her family was in a state of ruin, she completely changed her appearance, and the speed of this face turning was a must.
There is also a kind of selfishness that only allows oneself to take advantage of others, does not provide any convenience to others, and does not allow others to take advantage of themselves.
Take the other person's efforts for granted, without gratitude
Some people, like all the people in the world owe him, feel that others take their kindness to him for granted, have no gratitude at all, and have no giving to others.
A person who does not understand gratitude, he is extremely indifferent in his bones. I just want to take, I never know how to give. Even if you pay more for him and be good to him, he will not have any gratitude for you in his heart, and he will not even say a good word about you behind his back.
For the efforts of others, they often have such remarks as "it is not me who let him do this", and he feels that you are willing to pay for him, so he does not have to pay attention to it, and even in their hearts they will accuse you of being nosy.
Know that no one in this world who is good to you is taken for granted, and even parents can't have such thoughts. It is true that they are willing to be good to you, but you also have to learn to be grateful and remember those who are willing to stop and warm you, after all, they could not have been nice to you.
Some people are like this, no matter how good you are to him, as long as there is a time when he does not do as he wishes, then he will complain a lot about you, and safely erase all your previous efforts.
People who don't know gratitude, most of them are extremely selfish egoists, while accepting your efforts with peace of mind, while laughing at your stupidity behind your back, such people must not have deep friendships.
Selfishness is a human instinct, but it must also be kept within a certain range, if it is excessively selfish, then such a person has a certain degree of harm, and may hurt you at any time.
A person's enthusiasm is limited, do not give it to a selfish person. For such a person, even if you pay more to him, you will not miss your kindness, and even if there is any conflict of interest between you, it will betray you at the first time.
In the face of selfish people, you must not be soft-hearted, even if you spend a long time together, you must break off friendship in time, and the sooner you break off friendship, the better for you.