The biggest scam in education is called releasing children's nature (deep good article, be sure to transfer it to parents)

1

Unleash nature

In the movie theater, when everyone was watching the movie seriously, there was a child who jumped around in his seat, laughing from time to time, and making a fuss for almost half an hour, while his mother sat next to him and didn't ask.

An adult next to him couldn't stand it, and the child's mother said to take care of the child. The mother said, "This is the nature of the child, I can't suppress his nature." ”

This kind of behavior of ignoring the feelings of others and indulging in children is not called "releasing nature", but can only let others say that your children are not educated.

To release nature is not to resign oneself to all characteristics of the child. As a parent, you must control whether your child's various natures are reasonable and beneficial to him, and then decide whether to release them. Don't harm your children under the slogan of "release your nature".

2

Rule awareness

Such an incident happened in a hot pot restaurant in Wuxi, Jiangsu Province: adults were eating in their seats, a child was running around in the aisle, and his mother slowly followed behind, without scolding and stopping. It is estimated that they also feel that their children are lively and cute.

But when running to a corner, I happened to bump into the waiter who was turning, and the waiter had a pot of grilled fish in his hand, and the child's forehead was just attached to the hot grilled fish pot, and the tragedy happened instantly, and the child was burned.

Play is ok, but it should be played in the right place, the restaurant is not a place for children to play. If parents had a sense of rules, they would not have allowed their children to play and run in the restaurant, and there would have been no such tragedy.

But today's children are not only running and playing in restaurants, but also in trains and hospitals. And these behaviors happen to be violations of the rules.

Why do Chinese children generally lack a sense of rules?

Because in the eyes of many parents, the nature of children is higher than the rules. Children's nature is to be active, so they can run, they can make trouble, and they can make loud noises without fear. Ignoring the rules will only lead to more and more tragedies.

3

A sense of awe

Last year, there was a murder incident in Longhui, Hunan, a 73-year-old grandmother was killed at the door of her own home, the police immediately rushed to the scene, less than 5 hours, the case was cracked. The killer turned out to be a 13-year-old child.

On the afternoon of the crime, the child stayed near the grandmother's house and was scolded by the grandmother. Without saying a word, the child picked up a knife at the door and rushed straight to the grandmother, and a knife was made to the old man's head, and the old man died on the spot. The child snatched 700 yuan from the old man and fled the scene.

Not far away in Shaodong, Hunan Province, there was a similar incident: three left-behind children discussed going to the primary school to hang out, because the school gate was closed because of the holidays that day, and the three of them climbed over the wall to enter. After entering the school, they pried open the door of the commissary and stole bread, lollipops and other food inside, which happened to be discovered by the female teacher on duty, because of the fear of being caught, the three children directly beat the female teacher to death with a wooden stick, and then fled.

The next day, three children were arrested by the police. Left-behind children, considered to be the most thorough herding, no one to take care of, let alone no one to take care of, lack of reverence for the law, and finally can only end in tragedy.

Every child has a demon hidden in his heart, and without restraint and discipline, it will make the child lack the most basic reverence.

4

Children have no sense of self-discipline

I have seen a mother before, a very ordinary family, the parents are ordinary, the children are ordinary, said that after reading a book by a famous expert, decided to follow his parenting methods. What time to get up, what time to go to bed, the mother never cares, because she feels that the child has a sense of responsibility for herself; as for academic performance, interest is the most critical, never do anything to force. The result?

After three years, the child's results are miserable, originally it was the upper middle, after three years, it is basically at the bottom, other children have one or two specialties, what about her children? There is no specialty. Playing games is very powerful, other children never bring mobile phones to school, her children play mobile games for more than eight hours a day, often late for school... She didn't understand why free-range parenting methods ended up being the result of this.

In fact, there are more than one children who have been destroyed by stocking.

"Self-discipline" is easy to say, but how easy is it to do? Don't talk about children, parents think about whether they can achieve self-discipline? Have you set yourself a lot of goals, but in the end you have not achieved one? What you can't do, why do you think your child can do it?

Self-discipline is important, but it is not innate, but it must be trained slowly to achieve. Self-discipline is the key to children's growth, and the premise for parents to want to free-range is to help their children develop a strong "self-discipline ability" first.

5

Children are not parented

There is such a thing on the Internet: a girl is in line to buy milk tea, a 7- or 8-year-old child, directly in front of her, his mother is behind. The girl couldn't look at it, so she told his mother that the child was in line. Unexpectedly, his mother said with no concern, the child is like this, you let it go.

There was also a news report before: in a small district of Zhengzhou, Henan, two children were taking the elevator, and one of the children had a sudden idea and tried to do stretching exercises in the elevator, while supporting the wall with his hands, while using his feet against the elevator door, and then pedaling hard. Unexpectedly, the safety door on the inside of the elevator flew out at once, and the main control panel of the elevator was ejected from the wall, if it were not for the protection of the external wall, the consequences would be unimaginable. What was even more unexpected was that after the incident, the child's mother forwarded the surveillance video in the owner group and said: "Is this elevator made of paper?" He also said that the property also had to thank my son! ”

Behind every bear child, there must be no parents who have done anything. For the willfulness and ignorance of children, they choose to close their eyes and also choose to give up their responsibilities as parents. They certainly did not expect that the result of this would be to raise uncultured children.

6

The most powerless education: stocking

Over the years, Western education methods have been praised by many parents, children to be happy, to be free, to release their most perfect nature, to let them grow independently and freely. It looks beautiful, but it actually sucks. Many parents are not "free-range" at all, and what they see as stocking is actually abandonment, indulgence, and finally a violation of the law, or even a violation of the law.

The book "Unequal Childhood" writes: At least to a certain extent, the American elite generally practice cooperative cultivation, which can be roughly understood as "captivity", while the working class and the poor practice of child-rearing is the natural growth, that is, what we call "stocking".

See, the "stocking" that you have praised as heaven is just a helpless choice for the people at the bottom of the United States, like most Chinese, who do not have enough time and money to educate their children.

And the harsher reality is that free-range children simply do not have the strength to compete with the children of elite families, and the price of stocking may be that you will lose the upward passage forever.

The famous educator Ushinsky said: If you develop a good habit, you will not be able to enjoy the interest it brings you for a lifetime, and if you develop a bad habit, you will spend your whole life paying off endless debts. In fact, as in any country, elite education has never been free-range!

7

Can't cross the "boundary"

Education scholar Ding Lin told such a story that some time ago, an American guest came to her house - a third-grade girl. Like all children, the little girl did not have the slightest resistance to candy, and after eating the first one, she wanted to eat the second. She asked her mother if she could. Mom said very clearly, no. The little girl had to accept it calmly.

Many people like to talk about how free, advanced, and respectful foreign education is, but they ignore one point: in front of freedom, there is a clear and visible boundary, indicating that some things can be done and some things can not be done.

Parents should give their children freedom, but this freedom is not unlimited, unruly, unrestrained, and it is not connivance and inaction.

There is nothing wrong with a certain release and tolerance, but in the face of release, there must be a clear boundary, some things can be tolerated, but some boundaries can not be crossed.

Write at the end:

The words are true, but they are true. Hope that the teacher will transfer it to the parents and encourage them together!