He Suohuan, a writer of gender-emotional psychology, writes sentient stories, interesting strangers, and material knowledge.
People who are climbing, never look down on people who go down, because they have seen scenery that you have not seen;
People who climb to the top of the mountain, never look down on the people down the mountain, because they have a lot of time and energy to catch up with you.
There is a question on Zhihu: Why is it that no matter what you do, you will be hated and looked down upon?
One of the answers is:
"People hate a person because they reflect their own shortcomings."
Like what:
A lazy man always looks down on those who work hard; a poor man always points fingers at the rich behind his back.
What are the manifestations when a person looks down on you?
What do we do when we are looked down upon?
-01
Others look down on your performance
First: belittling, mocking, suppressing
In social networking, the most obvious manifestation of the other party looking down on you is that he is always working against you.
No matter what you do, he will always belittle you and taunt you; especially in front of the crowd, he will hit you in the face and make you unable to get off the stage.
You wonder: I don't seem to have offended him, do I?
In fact, the reason why the other party looks down on you is because in his subconscious, he thinks that you are inferior to him.
Or, you should be inferior to him, but you're actually better off than him.
What is the nature of human nature?
It is to seek advantages and avoid harms.
You will find that in the crowd, the wall grass that meets the source of the left and right always likes to show off and be courteous in front of the "rich people".
And the way they offer their hospitality and stir up the atmosphere is often to ridicule and belittle the taciturn, ordinary person.
That's human nature.
Whether it's social, emotional or relatives, when the other party is always belittling you, mocking you, and you.
Well, in his mind, he just looks down on you.
Second: Indifference, always cold
When you get along with each other, if you perceive that the other person is always cold, always silent.
At this time, you should reflect:
"Did I do something wrong that caused him to resent me?"
"Is there something wrong with the relationship between the two of us, and what contradictions have arisen?"
If there is none, it means that in the other person's heart, he does not want to have any intersection with you, and does not want to become friends with you.
Therefore, in order to avoid getting too close to you, he can only choose to respond with indifference and perfunctory.
The closer you get, the more he retreats; the more you move forward, he responds to you with all his indifference.
The highest state of looking down on a person is not verbal repression, but ignoring it.
Whether you're having a good or bad life, he doesn't care; he doesn't respond to you whether you say it or not.
He won't give you a chance to communicate because he always chooses to ignore you.
-02
Why do others look down on you?
First: different concepts, do not recognize each other
You can never convince someone who disagrees with your ideas, just as you can't wake up a person who pretends to be asleep.
I always say to the people around me:
It's okay to chat, but don't have differences in ideas; it's okay to express your opinions, but if there is a disagreement because of ideas, please stop communicating immediately.
This is the best way to avoid contradictions.
When ideas diverge, both people must insist on their own opinions.
Therefore, it is easy to have the idea: "I am right, you are ignorant."
Thinking that the other party is wrong and ignorant, so there will be a feeling of "condescending" and looking down on the other party.
Second: Think of yourself as the center, others are inferior to yourself
There are two kinds of people in this world who are prone to extremes.
One is to think that I am the center of the world, and everyone should pay attention to me, care about me, and listen to my opinions.
The other is: thinking that you are unloved, unloved, humble, pathetic, cowering in a corner and not being noticed.
The former, easy to be arrogant, arrogant people often do not have a clear understanding of themselves, always indispensable, look down on all the people around them.
The latter is always inferior, and those who are excessively inferior will only fall into the mire and cannot get rid of the shackles of the soul.
Third: Looking down is also a kind of jealousy
Why do some people like to work against you, like to be quick with their tongues, and like to suppress you verbally?
It is because he has nothing that he can do in other fields, and nothing can compare to you.
Therefore, he can only suppress you through verbal confrontation and overshadow your momentum.
But it also exposed his inner uneasiness and jealousy.
Because he thinks he's the same kind of person as you, but he didn't expect you to mix better than him.
When you are poor, others will laugh at you, but not look down on you; but when you are successful, others will be jealous of you and talk about you behind your back.
-03
What should I do if I am looked down upon by others?
First: Positively adjust your mindset
You must understand that the more you worry that others will look down on you, the more you will reduce your own value and sense of existence.
Loss and loss, lack of self-confidence.
Paying too much attention to other people's ideas will only bind your hands and feet, making you afraid to realize your own ideas.
Why bother, even if others look down on you, what does it have to do with you?
You put too much effort into this area and it will only make you have no intention of coping with life and work.
The more you care, the more you make a mess of yourself.
So, no matter what others say, you just need to stick to yourself and go on according to your original rhythm of life.
Think differently:
When others look down on you, why not because you have ascended to a high place and looked far away, and you are envied and jealous?
Second: The more abundant the inside, the less afraid of the ridicule of others
When you get certain grades and achieve certain achievements, you don't care what others think and say about you.
You have a sense of detachment that is out of the way.
At that time, you were like an outsider, standing in God's perspective and looking down on their every move, every word and deed.
You will have pity, you will be sad, but you will not be angry, just look at it all very calmly.
When you can do this, the outside world can no longer hurt you.
So, how do you get yourself to have this mindset?
Don't give up the ability to learn, don't give up the improvement of yourself, when you get better and better, leaving them far behind, you don't care to argue with them.
Just like in martial arts novels: the master is always lonely, because it is difficult to meet the opponent.
Today's Topic:
Have you ever been "looked down upon" by someone?
(Article with picture source network)