Many parents regard their children's lying as a big thing, and worry that their children will grow up to lie. The child's lie is like a thorn that pierces the heart of the parent deeply. How did our children learn to lie?
In fact, lying is a necessary stage of a child's growth. The Developmental Psychology team at the University of Toronto, after 20 years of studying lying to children, found that:
At the age of 2, 30% of children start to lie; by the age of 4, up to 80% of children lie. As children get older, it becomes more common for children to lie.
Therefore, parents do not have to be too nervous, find out the reason for their children's lies, and correct the symptoms, which will be more effective with half the effort.
01
The rapid development of imagination and language
Two or three-year-old children, as they see more and more things, language ability and imagination are developing rapidly, at this time they will fantasize about a lot of things, but due to the lack of common sense, memory is not accurate, resulting in reality and imagination silly distinction is not clear.
Some children have rich imaginations, and when describing things, they often mix with their own imaginary scenes and characters, speaking in a colorful way and showing off themselves.
02
Lack of understanding
Sometimes children have a bias in understanding due to insufficient cognition, which will produce "lying phenomenon". Children sometimes see things funny in other people or on TV, and they keep reminiscing and learning under curiosity.
Young children at this age are vague about the concepts of time, space, quantity, and character relationships, and often say "false words" that they do not know, for example, they may refer to the past collectively as "yesterday".
03
In order to escape punishment, choose to lie
In most cases, children lie to escape punishment, such as being naughty and afraid of parental punishment. Children's behavior is in many cases a problem with the parents' education process.
When faced with your child's lying behavior, you must take action: first clarify the reason for lying, and then help your child master how to express himself truthfully.
1. Find the right way
When you anticipate that the child is ready to lie, or has already lied in front of you. Don't worry, sort out your mood first, and choose the right way to help your child confess at the first time.
2. Stay calm
Behind a child's lying may be a heart of fear. Therefore, once the child has lied, the parents must first calmly face the fact that the child is lying, and then carefully understand the reasons and deal with it patiently and objectively.
3. Don't expose it to your face
If you already know the truth of the matter, don't ask back, it will make the child not tell you the truth because of embarrassment or fear of blame, and your behavior will only encourage the child to lie.
4. Praise honest behavior
When a child plucks up the courage to admit a mistake, parents should not only see the child's mistake, but should first applaud the child's honesty. Let children realize that telling the truth does not cause trouble for themselves, and they will have more courage to tell the truth.
Do not over-accuse the correct face of the child's faults, avoid excessive accusations (reprimands, sarcasm, corporal punishment), and patiently explain the truth under the premise of protecting the child's self-esteem.
5. Teach children to apologize
Let your child know that bravely admitting mistakes and saying "Mom, I'm sorry" is not a complicated and shameful thing to do. Let children learn and dare to apologize, and it is also a true and responsible way to act responsibly for their own actions in the future.
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