I saw a column on the Internet called "Turning for Love", which talked about a two-child family, because the child's surname was contradictory and even wanted to divorce.
The mother said that before getting married, she had already said that the first child was surnamed with her father, the second child was surnamed with her mother, and the result was that the first child was the daughter and her father's surname.
The second child gave birth to a boy with the surname of his mother, and the mother-in-law and husband wanted to change the son to the father's surname because they preferred sons to daughters.
The mother-in-law said with a straight face, when we marry over, our family must be surnamed after us, and we have such a rule here.
The lawyer next to him was furious when he saw his mother-in-law say this, and he was angry at her mother-in-law: There is no law that says that if you marry, the child must be with the man's surname.
Article 22 of the Marriage Act states that a child may take the surname of his father or the surname of his mother. Later, some people proposed that the word "also" seemed to have weight, and the word "also" was removed. Children may take their father's surname or their mother's surname.
That is to say, whether the child has the surname of his father or the surname of his mother is supported by law!
Now many only children combine both parents have only one child, after the state let go of the second child, many families with only children intend to have a second child, one with the father's surname, one with the mother's surname.
However, many traditional families are still a little reluctant to accept children and mothers' surnames, especially boys and mothers' surnames, so there are also many contradictions.
Two children with one with the father's surname, one with the mother's surname, these children's growing pains, parents should be clear
▲ Differential treatment of children by the elderly on both sides
For example, the grandparents of children with their father's surname are very loving, but children with their mother's surname are easily ignored by grandparents, and even when buying gifts, there is a difference.
For example, the grandparents' family property may only be given to the child with the mother's surname, and the child with the father's surname is not shared.
These differential treatment in growth will lead to contradictions between the two children, and are not conducive to the mutual support and brotherhood of the children in their growth.
▲ Misunderstood by others, family disharmony
Go out and say that the two are brothers, but different surnames will make people feel that the family relationship is not very good, and parents have divorced will have different surnames, which is the first reaction of many people's subconscious.
Therefore, it is necessary for children or parents to explain, and it will be annoying to explain too much.
▲ Mom and Dad may also be inclined to love children with their own surnames
Parents who are obsessed with a child and a surname may attach great importance to the inheritance of this surname, and in the face of the inheritance of the surname in their hearts, they will naturally pay more attention to the child with their own surname.
Before a mother in Jiangsu and Zhejiang once said, the first birth is with the husband's surname, the child a handful of and a handful of urine, are the husband personally served to grow up, the child on the interest class to buy what toys, are the husband to give money.
To the second child with his own surname, the husband does not care much about the second child' child, the money of the confinement center is also the mother's own payment, even the child's money to buy milk powder to buy toys is also the mother's own payment, the father only occasionally hugs the child, I feel that only the eldest is the husband's child, the second is not his own son.
Children who grow up in such an environment, the feelings between the two brothers are difficult to be very harmonious. Although they are two brothers who are related by blood, it is very likely that they grew up in competition, and the two brothers have discordant feelings, and even frequent quarrels will lead to tension between parents, and the relationship between the two families will be tense, which may eventually lead to the disintegration of the family.
Legally, children can be with the father's surname, can also be with the mother's surname, if there are two children in the family, one with the father's surname, one with the mother's surname, there is no problem, but the premise is that the parents and relatives and friends in the family should treat the two children equally, no matter what the child's surname is, in fact, they are related to the parents, they are relatives, do not favor one over the other.
When the child goes to school, the parents should do a good preventive shot with the teacher in advance, the two children are brothers, but the reason for the different surnames is that both of us are only children, so we hope that a child and the father's surname, a child with the mother's surname, our family is also very harmonious, so that the teacher knows the child's situation, naturally can maintain the child's face in front of the classmates.
Children grow up slowly to tell the child, why one of you with the father's surname, one with the mother's surname, let the child know, although the two people's surnames are not the same, but the two people are brothers to love each other and live in harmony.
Parents can also put the surnames of both parents in the child's name, such as the father's surname Wang, the mother's surname Liang, then a child can add a word after "Wang Liang", or two words, and another child can add one word or two words after "Liang Wang".
This also makes outsiders look like two people are like brothers.
The child's last name is a symbol, and if it causes family conflicts, it is a bit too much to lose.