Mothers have more smiles on their faces, learn to speak well, and add a little "lazy" wisdom, which is equivalent to getting the key to open a "good life".
Author | Grape Mama
When I took my children downstairs on the weekend, I chatted with a group of moms.
Everyone complained incessantly that the children were difficult to raise, and the husband did not care.
In the midst of a loud complaint, a mother laughed and said nothing.
Compared to everyone's haggard and angry, her face was rosy and radiant.
Her mother, who has a good relationship with her family, can't help but quip:
"In our group, you are the happiest, the child does not have to worry about you, the husband also knows to help, in our group of mothers, you have the best life." 」
Coincidentally, my girlfriend is also known as the "good fate" mother:
At home, the husband spoiled her, the son followed her, not to mention how happy.
Later, after observing the good mothers around me, I found that almost all of them have 3 characteristics:
A smile that often hangs on your face
Elon Musk, CEO and CTO of Space Exploration Technologies, CEO of Tesla and chairman of the board of directors of Sun City, mentioned his mother Meyer in an interview with the media, saying that the most impressive thing was her mother's smile:
"The highest form of maternal love is to give freedom to the child, and my mother has done a very good job of that.
I knew that during the time when all three of our children were in college, she had a hard time, but she never complained, and every time she saw her, she had a smile on her face.
Such an attitude is the most precious asset she has given us. ”
Professor Hong Lan of Taiwan's Central University also said:
"A mother is the soul of a family."
In the family, Mom's face, like an atmosphere, envelops the whole family.
And mom's smile is the most important oxygen in the family.
Yang Di's mother is a mother who goes out of the circle because she loves to laugh.
In Yang Di's memory, her mother always seemed to be happy and smiling.
When he was a child, Yang Di was more noisy, and often took his classmates home to rehearse sketches.
A group of people came to the house, replaced by other people, who may have let them go back to their respective homes with cold faces.
But Yang Di's mother would never show them her face, nor would she stop them, but would cut fruit for everyone and chat with them with a smile.
Because my mother didn't want to be so serious, I thought it was most important to have fun.
Yang Di's parents, like other parents, will have contradictions and quarrels, but in Yang Di's impression, parents are in love.
Because parents never put on a face at home because of quarrels.
Mom would just sneak away in the toilet and make a phone call, open the door and smile again.
It can be said that in front of him, mom is always smiling.
Such a smiling mother has a very deep influence on Yang Di.
Yang Di said in an interview:
"She taught me that there is nothing to worry about in life, that there are ways and there are ways to do everything.
To live is to be happy, to be happy, to laugh. ”
A mother who loves to laugh will always bring her children love and hope for life, and is the best wealth in the family.
Talking mouth
Someone asked: What is it like to have a mother who can't speak?
An anonymous netizen replied:
"Every day is hell, almost every day is a quarrel."
For example, when others praised him, his mother was always too modest, and then began to count him down in front of everyone, making him very faceless.
Once, when the lights in the house broke, my mother asked my father to buy a new lamp when he came back from work.
But Dad bought the wrong model, and Mom began to say Dad:
"Even a small thing can be done wrong, and what else can be expected of you?"
In the end, it can only end with a big fight.
Relationshipist Zhou Fan said:
"Whether it's a parent to a child or a partner, people always think that making the other person feel ashamed will make the other person reflect, in fact, self-change requires strength, and guilt can kill power the fastest."
The more you judge and condemn others, the more you deprive them of the power to change. ”
Language is powerful.
Blame, nag, count... These words contain an astonishing offensive and destructive power that can disrupt the harmony of the family.
And praise, encouragement, appreciation... These words are full of warmth, making the family more warm and harmonious.
I saw a story shared by a boy on Douban.
He said his mom had an advanced skill: open her eyes and talk nonsense.
In his fourth grade, he did very poorly on one exam.
I thought I would be reprimanded by my mother, but my mother looked at his exam paper and said:
"Although you are really careless, your writing is much better, and it is also an improvement!"
Because he was praised, he involuntarily wrote better and examined the questions more carefully when doing the questions.
Mom would not only praise him, but also Dad.
Because Dad is busy at work, he often comes home from work at eight or nine o'clock in the evening.
Many times the mother is responsible for the homework, but later, the father began to take the initiative to take over this "task".
Because every time Dad finishes tutoring, Mom will say next to him:
"Or you are more powerful, I taught my son ten times that he could not remember the topic, you said once or twice he will understand."
In this "praise", the matter of tutoring him with his homework has since fallen on his father's head.
His studies were all about father and son, and his mother had hardly ever bothered.
American psychologist William James said:
"One of the deepest intentions of human nature is to expect to be praised, admired, and respected."
In the family, the child wants to hear the affirmation and encouragement of the mother; what the husband wants to hear is the admiration and respect of the wife.
Having a good talking mother can better regulate the relationship between each other and make life more harmonious.
Know how to be lazy hands
Watched a news video.
In Hengyang, Henan, there was a mother who was spat on by her son during the holidays:
"I don't even know how my mother is so lucky.
My brother and I had to get up early to do our homework and do housework, as if it was my mother who was on vacation. ”
Because after the 11-year-old son was on vacation, the mother didn't care about anything, slept until more than 10 o'clock every day, and asked her son to urge her four times and three times to let her get up and brush her teeth and wash her face.
Not only that, but the son also has to make breakfast for his mother and cook stir-fry.
He is only 11 years old and can already cook a lot of dishes.
Because his mother slept late, the 11-year-old boy was too busy to do the housework himself, and mobilized his younger brother to do housework together.
Laundry mop sample line.
Even my husband is very diligent.
Every day when my mother was still sleeping, the father and son had begun to work.
When the mother got up, the father and son were already preparing meals in the kitchen, and the mother became the most idle person in the family.
Mom was the mistress of the house, not a hired nanny, so she didn't need to do everything in detail.
A friend of mine once complained to me that he was too bitter to worry about his son' bits and pieces, and a husband like the emperor who would only let her do this and that.
A friend gave her advice not to be a "good wife and mother" and to find a few days to try nothing.
When she got home, she began to try to call her son and husband for help.
At first, the two big masters of the family were still indifferent.
The more times they go, the more time they get used to it, and they become more proactive.
She was also much more relaxed, and the family was happy.
The book "Lazy Mothers Are Better Than Good Mothers" says:
"The highest state of motherhood is laziness."
A mother who is too diligent, worried about everything, and does everything for herself will often make her child and husband selfish, lazy, and ungrateful.
Being a lazy mother and letting go of family affairs properly can also stimulate the initiative of other members of the family and make yourself easier.
I always thought that a mother with a good fate was to marry a rich husband and have children to have a job.
Completely ignoring that whether the mother's life is good or not, the key lies in how to run the family and regulate life.
In the ordinary life, one of my mother's smiles is a seasoned sugar that makes the family more sweet.
A good word from my mother is a warm ray of sunshine that makes the home more warm.
One of mom's laziness is an adventure that gives the family more vitality.
The so-called mother with a good fate is just a chicken feather that knows how to show weakness, knows how to let go, and knows how to face the chicken feathers of life with a positive attitude.
Click "Like" and wish every mom can find the "key" to open a good life.