On January 21, 2022, female writer Zhang Jie died of illness in the United States and went to another world to find her mother who loved her the most.
Since the day her mother died on October 28, 1991, Zhang Jie has understood that without her mother, she has lost the most irreplaceable maternal love in the world.
In the documentary work "The Person Who Hurt Me the Most In the World Went", Zhang Jie recorded the difficult times of the last three months of her mother's life with affectionate brushstrokes.
Zhang Jie has been dependent on her mother since childhood, and it is her mother who carries the burden of survival with her weak shoulders and trains Zhang Jie to become a high-achieving student at Chinese min University.
However, as the years passed, her mother gradually aged, and Zhang Jie, who was busy writing, ran all day until she found that her mother was seriously ill and returned to her mother's side to accompany her.
There is a saying in the Confucius Family Sayings Volume II and ZhiSi VIII: "The tree wants to be quiet and the wind is not stopping, and the son wants to raise and kiss and does not wait." ”
I don't know how many children like Zhang Jie wait until their parents are dying of old age to regret it, and it turns out that the person who loves himself in the world will not always be there.
Next, I opened the book with Zi Xin, followed Zhang Jie to recall the pain of accompanying her mother until the last moment of her life, and knew how to cherish the precious mother-daughter relationship with her mother in this life.
【1】
To love a child is to give everything to the child.
The Italian poet Dante said: "There is one of the most beautiful voices in the world, and that is the call of the mother ." ”
At the beginning of birth, every child lies in the warm arms of his mother and listens to the children's songs sung by his mother, so that such a beautiful memory will remain in the child's life for a lifetime.
And the reason why maternal love is great is because mothers under the heavens have the same wish and are willing to give everything they have to raise their children.
In 1937, Zhang Jie was born in Beijing, but because of her father's abandonment, Zhang Jie could only follow her mother Zhang Shanzhi and grew up with difficulties all the way.
Zhang Jie said in the book that for many years, the family burden has been relatively heavy, and her mother has been doing her best to supplement Zhang Jie until the day of her death, and every pension is spent on her daughter Zhang Jie and granddaughter Tang Di.
In the 1980s, when her mother's pension was not high, and Zhang Jie's monthly income was only fifty or sixty yuan, her mother, at the age of seventy, pushed a cart in the summer to sell popsicles under the hot sun, and went to the commissary to sell groceries in the winter.
In order to make a little money to help Zhang Jie maintain the family, the love given to Zhang Jie by her mother has never stopped since Zhang Jie was born until the day of her death.
"Chinese detective" Li Changyu also has such a mother, when his father died unexpectedly, Li Changyu was only 10 years old, in order to support 13 children, mother Wang Shuzhen can be described as doing her best.
In order to save money, Wang Shuzhen moved her family to the suburbs, and also used the music knowledge she learned in her early years to open a music school at home and use the money she earned to provide children with education.
Once everyone was a bridesmaid, for the sake of the children would rather be a nanny to earn money, Wang Shuzhen in this way to cultivate 13 children into talents, achieved a generation of good stories.
Zi Xin believes that maternal love is the most sincere love in the world, because children come into this world through their mothers, and there is a natural and inseparable connection between mothers and children.
As the Soviet writer Gorky said, "Maternal love is the greatest force in the world." Without the help of selfless, self-sacrificing maternal love, the child's soul would be a desert. ”
It is precisely because of the infinite power of maternal love that children will have a healthy growth future under the care of their mothers.
【2】
Maternal love is not asking the child for any return.
Liu An, the king of Huainan in the Western Han Dynasty, said: "Loving mothers love their children, not for retribution." ”
No matter what stage of life you are in, even if you are old and on crutches, your mother's heart still thinks of the child, and never asks for a little return from the child.
At the end of July 1991, the 80-year-old mother was deteriorating, and she often chanted to her daughter who was on the go: "Zhang Jie is coming back, Zhang Jie is coming back." ”
Obviously missed her daughter, but never let the little aunt who took care of her call Zhang Jie, for fear of disturbing Zhang Jie's work, even if she was unwell, she had to hide it.
Zhang Jie found that her mother was collapsing when she walked, and her two soles were rubbing the ground, so she asked her mother how to walk like this, and her mother explained that the shoes were not suitable, or that the legs and feet were not moving when she just woke up.
The mother's idea is very simple, do not want to drag the daughter, do not want the daughter because of their own sake, there is no way to do what they want to do, so the mother's love that does not ask for return is really moving.
Actor Chen Chong wrote of his mother in the article "The Last Thing That Disappears is Feelings and Music": "My mother was very much looking forward to seeing me, especially during her hospitalization. ”
But when Chen Chong was with his mother in the ward, his mother often said: "You are very busy, go quickly, don't waste time here." ”
Even after my father paid an expensive hospitalization fee, when he said that he was using Chen Chong's brother's money for living expenses, his mother, who was originally in a trance, opened her eyes and said sternly: "How can you use Chen Chuan's money?" ”
People always want to rely on children when they are old, which is the common sentiment of people, but mothers are still only thinking about their children, afraid of delaying their children's work, afraid of spending children's money to embarrass their children.
I remember the American writer Mark Twain saying, "I added a lot of mess to my mother, but I think she enjoyed it." ”
Zi Xin knows that maternal love is the most unrequited love, because in the mother's world, as long as the child has a good life, he will feel happy and happy, and he has never had the slightest selfishness.
Mother's love is top-down, and the mother is willing to give all the love to the child, but never considers the return, it is so pure.
【3】
To love your mother is to try your best to accompany you without regrets.
British writer George Eliot said: "My life began with opening my eyes and falling in love with my mother's face. ”
In every child's world, the mother is an omnipotent god, and the love and concern for the mother is an emotion that has never changed.
Zhang Jie repeatedly recalled every detail of her mother's illness and hospitalization in the book, and she had to consider the treatment plan repeatedly every time, and inquired about the opinions of authoritative doctors in many ways, for fear of delaying her mother's treatment.
Half a year after her mother's death, Zhang Jie also said to the attending doctor at the time: "I might as well not let my mother operate at the beginning." ”
This idea of loving her mother deeply and regretting whether she has done wrong is still Zhang Jie from the depths of her heart, and it is difficult to accept the reality that her mother has left her.
But in her mother's last time, she accompanied her mother all the time, gave her mother and urine, fed her mother food and bathed, and took care of her mother herself, just to cherish every minute and every second with her mother.
In the movie "When the Monster Knocks", the mother of the teenager Connor is seriously ill, and he has the same nightmares every night, with howling winds and suffocating darkness.
In any case, he could not grasp his mother's hands that fell into the abyss, which made Connor more afraid, in fact, in the depths of Connor's heart, he could not accept the reality that his mother was about to leave, that is, he longed to continue to accompany his mother to go on.
Until one night, a monster transformed from a yew tree came to the house to tell Connor three stories in exchange for the truth that Connor buried deep in his heart and did not dare to show people.
At the end of the film, Connor finally says "I don't want you to go", although no matter how tightly he holds it, his mother's hand still slips from Connor's hand, but Connor's heart has been much calmer.
Zi Xin has always understood that everyone will leave this world, and mom will certainly not be an exception, but in mom's lifetime, it is enough to be able to accompany mom to live every day.
As the British writer Thackeray said, "In the oral heart of a child, the mother is the name of God." ”
Even if the mother has left, but the mother is everywhere, those time with each other is the beacon of life that will never be extinguished in the child's heart.
【4】
Between mothers and children, there is only the love of this life.
When her mother died, Zhang Jie wept and lost her voice: "My life was actually over when I was 54 years old. That was the year my mother died.
When Zhang Jie was 70 years old, she wrote an article entitled "At this time you can really grow up", which wrote: "You remember the situation when you were sick when you were a child, and your mother's palm suddenly rubbed your hot forehead.
But my mother was gone. Since then, you are no longer afraid to face the problems of going to the street, going to the restaurant yourself, enjoying yourself, laughing by yourself, crying by yourself, and coping with the collapse of the sky. ”
Even if she has lived to the age of ancient rarity, she still can't forget the love that her mother gave her, because Zhang Jie understands that between her mother and her child, there is really only the love of this life.
After burying her mother, Zhang Jie, who returned home, hugged her mother's clothes and buried her face deeply, just because the clothes had the smell of her mother.
She touched what her mother had used over and over again, thinking to herself, "I have lost my mother forever, I will never see my mother again." ”
At this moment, Zhang Jie understood that only by cherishing it well could she still have the warm embrace of her mother in her memories when the mother-daughter relationship was separated, and there was still the blue sky supported by her mother's hands.
When the host Sabine's twin daughters were born, he texted his mother and said, "Two little ones were born, and mom you became a grandmother." ”
However, Sabine could no longer receive a reply from his mother, because her mother had left him due to illness, and when she thought of it, Sabine could not help but burst into tears.
Another time, when Sabine moved, he turned to a small box, which contained all the student manuals and acceptance letters from primary school to college, and Sabine wet his eyes with tears as he spoke.
Zi Xin always feels that maternal love is the warmth of the long stream of fine water, the deepest love and care that the mother gives to the child in this life, that is, I hope that the child can grow up safely and healthily and live the life he wants.
Gorky once said, "All the glory and pride in the world comes from the mother." ”
Deeply believed, in order not to live up to the love of the mother, the child will do his best to become the pride of the mother and make the mother happier.
【5】
I once read a sentence: "Between the child and the mother, the mother is always an overloaded ship, allowing the wind and waves to blow, and willingly after thousands of hardships." ”
The mother's arms are the safest and warmest harbor for the child, and the mother's arms are the care for the child to thrive.
It is precisely because of such dependence on her mother that after her mother left, Zhang Jie also fell seriously ill, and it was not until two years later that the book was officially finalized.
Zhang Jie wrote in the last sentence of the book:
"Mom, you used to say, 'I can't die, what do you do when I die?'
Mom, now, really, what am I going to do? ”
Every word is heart-wrenching to read, it turns out that the mother is really inseparable from the child's life!