Author:Ai Wen (Emotional Self-Media Person)
This article will probably poke at the pain points of many people - just like someone once told me that I was afraid of reading my article, too blunt.
However, many times, why those who have suffered emotional betrayal, can not get out of the shadows, solve the problem, is that they have not recognized the truth, so there is such a problem: some people are afraid to face the truth; and some people do not see the truth - this article is aimed at, of course, the latter.
After encountering emotional betrayal, many people actually want to end the relationship, especially those who have been continuously betrayed, but at this time, there may be some external factors that make them unable to make this decision, such as considering children, which is the most difficult level for many people to overcome in reality.
Is it for the sake of the children, and keep this marriage relationship? This is actually a question that needs to be asked from the heart.
Let's say that without children, would you choose to end the marriage?
Such a question seems pointless, because such a hypothesis does not exist at all. However, this assumption still has its meaning, may as well be extended, if the child has grown up and lives independently, will he choose to end the relationship?
A lot of people still don't choose to end it, so it's not the kids they really care about — although that's an important part; what they really care about is the relationship.
In fact, when a person is faced with a problem and cannot do anything, he will look for some reason to explain himself, similar to self-suggestion and comfort such as "breaking the wealth and avoiding disaster". After encountering emotional betrayal, because this problem is beyond his ability, he has to compromise in such a relationship, at this time, the child is the best reason to persuade and comfort himself.
"If it weren't for the child...", "I'm just for the child, so..." and so on, there are too many expressions.
There is no mistake, choosing to continue this marriage for the sake of the children, there is no problem at all, but if you really think so in your heart, then you must pay attention to a very important question: Is the child living well?
Many marriages, husband and wife have been regarded as enemies, two people are completely indifferent, and even shirk their responsibility for the child, the child as a tool for the "game" of two people, such a marriage is retained, must not be for the child.
Many children are thrown between parents like a leather ball, how can it be said that it is still for the sake of children? Many children live in a tense atmosphere and quarrels with their parents every day, how can it be said that it is still for the sake of their children? Many children say that they really hope that their parents will not quarrel and leave, if they do not have the ability to form a happy family, do not give this bad result to the child to bear the blame - "We are like this, is not it all for you!" ”
If it is really for the sake of the child, at least one point is a basic proof – in other words, if this is not done, the so-called "for the sake of the child" is an absolute excuse for one's own compromise.
This point is: whether you have the ability to live well, whether you are positive, healthy and full of positive energy.
Parents are actually children's role models, if you want your children to be good, really good for your children, then you must set a positive example for your children. If the marriage is really bad, and you don't have the courage and ability to end it, no relationship, then live yourself as well as possible, and the energy will be infected and passed on.
If the inner being is still positive and positive, then the child will also be affected; on the contrary, if the inner being is negative and negative, the impact on the child is absolutely negative, and the impact is a lifetime.
If you do not have the ability to live well, but to complain and hate all day long, attribute all this to "the betrayal of the other party", and then think that it is the betrayal of the other party, not only ruining their own happiness, but also ruining the happiness of their children, this must not be for the children, but because they have no ability, they can only choose to compromise on this - because, what you convey to your children is actually such a message: parents have a bad relationship, this family is not happy, and this unhappiness, we have no way to solve, we can't see where the hope lies.
In fact, many people who "compromise for the sake of their children", in the end, the children will not be grateful for what you do, but instead, they will look down on such parents when they become adults.