Do you often praise children like this?
After all, we who grew up under the percussion education can learn to praise children, which is already a great progress.
But if you praise children often use words such as "smart", "powerful", "awesome", etc., after a long time, you will find that the child seems to be unable to accept criticism, and cry when he says it.
They don't want to hear "no" or "no," they can't say anything wrong, they become more glassy, more conceited, or more jealous.
You are awesome!
No matter how sure and excited you are in your heart, using these three words is like an emotionless praise machine.
These three words are too broad, except for "stick", the child can not receive any signal.
Listening too much will also give him the illusion that I am already fine, don't try any harder!
You are really smart!
Intelligence is innate, which makes it easy for children to have a solidified thinking, thinking that success is determined by IQ and talent, even if it is useless to work hard.
When they encounter difficulties or setbacks, they often choose to give up.
Who's who's inferior to you! You're better than whoever is!
A child of a friend of HKUST, every time he finished his dance class, he would be praised by his family for "today you danced the best in the class" and "who danced well without you today".
Later, after a confident performance, the teacher praised others in public. As a result, the child cried when he saw him, and when he came home, he said that he did not want to learn dance anymore.
This time it's done well, but it still has to work hard!
Originally, the child was very happy to be praised, but when he heard the second half of the sentence, he could not laugh in an instant.
It sounds like a compliment, but there is always a feeling that it is not up to the requirements.
1, more exaggerated quality
There is no need to praise too much about the things that children are born with, such as IQ, appearance, etc., but to praise the qualities that they have worked hard to form the day after tomorrow, which is really helpful to children.
For example, praise efforts and do not boast of intelligence, so that children believe that "success comes from hard work", so that they will be willing to challenge, not afraid of failure, and will not completely deny themselves because of the failure of something.
2. Exaggerate specific things
Say it directly, and the child will understand it more easily and know what to do in the future.
Don't be too wordy when praising, try to describe in more words what you see and what you feel.
3, praise should be true, not blind
For example, when a child plays football, whether you enter or not, you close your eyes and praise, which will make the child feel that you are perfunctory.
It's best to describe it objectively, and don't praise what your child hasn't done.
