If you want it, go after it. In this life, there is nothing to open up, even if it is only a moment of respite.
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Yu Xiuhua is in love, the other party is a 90-year-old boy, 15 years younger than her. Graduated from junior high school and made a living as a beekeeper.
She showed love on Weibo, gave him 99 roses, and said, "Love your boyfriend like public property."
She put on a blue puffy skirt and was pushed by him to swing the swing.
▲ Yu Xiuhua's little boyfriend posted a video of the two holding hands in the circle of friends, with the caption: "Maintain your girlfriend like loving nature." ”
Seeing the news, Yu Yanjie is not without worries.
Afraid that Yu Xiuhua was deceived, afraid that Yu Xiuhua would be hurt, afraid of Yu Xiuhua's enthusiasm and disappointment again.
I even want to persuade her: Forget it, everything in the world is complete, we are like now, writing poetry, earning money, having readers to support you, no one dares to bully you, but also to achieve a certain level of freedom, why must we pursue that him?
For many middle-aged women, including Yu Yanjie, love has long been a necessity, and intense feelings are even more retreating.
But Yu Xiuhua bluntly said that she longed for love.
Dong Qing asked Yu Xiuhua why she wrote so many poems about love, and she replied: "What is missing, what to write." ”
What she wants is pure, passionate, undefeated, desperate love.
So she is a natural poet, and we are just ordinary laymen.
Yu Xiuhua's boyfriend is called Yang Quece, and the word in the middle is zhū, which is an evergreen tree.
His original name was Yang Guangwei, born in 1990 in the countryside of Shennongjia Forest District, the eldest in the family, there is a younger brother at the bottom, and his parents live on farming.
Like Yu Xiuhua after the 70s, Yang Yongce is also a bitter child.
When he was a child, his family was poor, and Yang Yongce dropped out of junior high school to work in the mines, and that year, Yang Yongce was only 17 years old.
The poor life consumed his yearning for the outside world.
Yang Yongce returned to his hometown after working in the mine for a while, with no education and no craftsmanship, and helped his parents do farm work at home.
When he was idle, Yang Yongce liked to paint. Later, because he was constantly urged by his father to work, Yang Yongce burned all his paintings.
He has been in a bar in town, a security guard in Shenzhen, a worker on an assembly line, and the hardest and lowest jobs.
After that, Yang Yongce picked up the beekeeping tradition of his hometown, gave up the life of wandering and working, and learned to become a beekeeper with his master.
When Sister Yuyan was young, she had seen beekeepers who brought beehives to catch locust nectar, and I really didn't expect that this ancient craft was still there today.
In 2015, when "Through Most of China to Sleep with You" swept the screen, Yang Yongce read Yu Xiuhua's work online. He said he admired "the talent of the other party and the courage to dare to speak and write.".
At that time, Yang Yongce was 25 years old.
Six years later, last year, Yu Xiuhua went through a difficult period.
She was rejected by the man she had loved for 6 years, guessing it was because of her disability and looks.
She said she wanted to commit suicide and "had a boring life and couldn't live anymore."
She drank two pounds of liquor at a time, drunk enough to get up, the reporter could not wake her up, and the interview had to be postponed.
In a live broadcast, Yang Yongce heard Yu Xiuhua say that alcoholism caused stomach pain, so he sent some honey from his own family.
After that, the two added WeChat, followed by video chat, and the longest chat lasted 7 hours.
At the end of last year, the two people met in Xiangyang and established a relationship on the same day.
At that time, Yu Xiuhua was 45 years old and Yang Yongce was 31 years old.
"When I first took her hand, she was nervous, her palms were sweating and a little overwhelmed. She was as shy as a seventeen or eighteen-year-old girl, and I was like a teenager. Yang Yongce said.
Yu Xiuhua has written many love poems.
Warm, eager, hot, uninhibited.
For example: "This human affair is like a sparrow that suddenly flies by, and time is so pure that I am not suitable for the liver and intestines to be cut off." ”
For example: "We are hermaphrodites, you sometimes rub me with a woman's body, and I occasionally use a man's arrogance to knock you down." ”
For example: "Come, make me a slut, or I'm sorry for the encounter in this spring breeze." ”
And the famous song: "I went through the rain of bullets to sleep with you." ”
One afternoon in 2014, an editor discovered Yu Xiuhua's poems through a blog post, saying: "Yu Xiuhua's works are muddy and bloody, and they stand out like murderers in the fat powder show." The first time I saw it, it was like getting a shot in the arm, and I was drowsy. ”
At that time, Yu Xiuhua was a peasant woman living on a low income, living in the village with cerebral palsy, and was rejected by her husband who was a migrant worker.
The man who was 12 years older than her always laughed at her crooked mouth, he couldn't get used to her writing on the computer, in his heart she was only worth 800 yuan, this emotionless marriage came from the arrangement of the woman's parents.
The following year, Yu Xiuhua published two poetry collections and saved 230,000 yuan in savings.
Having money, the first thing Yu Xiuhua thought of was divorce.
She divorced for 150,000.
The man who got the money smiled happily and said, "We are relieved of each other." ”
Yu Xiuhua, who was divorced, is still in pain.
The flesh was like a prison cage, trapping her soul and unable to be liberated.
She said, This body has driven me in the human world for decades, relying on each other for my life and hating each other.
The misalignment of the soul and the body is an unsolvable problem. There is no way out, it's desperate.
She spoke earnestly, and I listened with sadness.
At that time, she fell in love with a man and wrote a lot of poems in the name of "To Li Jian", and the result was that the other party chose a younger female companion.
"I don't know who to blame, but in the end I hate myself, hate my own ugliness and disability, and this cycle makes me walk sadly in the world." 」 Yu Xiuhua said.
She broke down.
"If I continue to write in this life, I may win many awards, but it doesn't make sense." I just want to be with him, to be with that person, to be meaningful. She said.
▲ Yu Xiuhua said: "I like Li Jian, in fact, I like a kind of nothingness"
The reporter asked her: "If you use your talent to exchange for health and beauty, are you willing?" At least solve the huge pain in front of your eyes first. ”
Yu Xiuhua shook her head: "No. ”
She said slowly, "Talent and beauty, I have to have both." ”
This sentence came out of Yu Xiuhua's mouth, which was sad.
She doesn't want sex without love, and she can't get sex without love.
That feeling of powerlessness, like a fire that can never be lit, stares at the dark sky alone.
This is an unsolvable puzzle. She said that she could only hope to be reincarnated and be a good-looking woman without disabilities.
Yu Xiuhua is sharp.
She talks dirty and fights with people online. The last sentence is: "Man is not dead, X is still there." ”
The reporter asked her why she was more real with the children on Weibo.
Yu Xiuhua laughed and said in a vague accent: "I want to show my skills, literary skills, swearing skills, hahaha." ”
Two days ago, she posted a poem on the public account "I beg poetry to block a tank.".
In the face of various strange noises in the comments, Yu Xiuhua quarreled with people again, and finally simply closed the message area.
Yu Yanjie prefers Yu Xiuhua's love poems.
In her cognition, love is a thing that cannot be obtained, and the more she does not get it, the more she longs for it.
She presents her emotions naked in broad daylight, with a steaming heart connected to a nerve vessel in front of your eyes. Stormy, fierce and romantic, every word seems to be carved out.
Fight against swords and swords with flesh and blood. The pain of resisting death, the fierce unwillingness, makes people unbearable to read but cannot forget.
Yu Xiuhua moved to a new home, the house was spacious and clean, and flowers were planted on the balcony.
People built a studio for her, poems were written on the walls, the bedding was snow white and clean, and the windows of the room were clean.
It was the best moment of her life.
Her heart is still burning, speaking bluntly of love and desire.
"In the sunny yard, the sparrows fluttered with a subtle and golden sound.
Withered moonflower leaves are also good.
Time is in order. And life always shows the good side to people.
The other side is to love.
I will meet the best landscape, the best people. ”
Bless Yu Xiuhua and find the person he wants to love.
If not, at least there is the compassionate reliance of poetry.
The pictures in this article are from the internet
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