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Preface
Many people question the existence of the character of Li Na in "Dressage".
A female college student who was abandoned by her father, abandoned by her boyfriend, had no ideals, and did not even know why she was alive.
In terms of IQ and emotional intelligence, she is completely out of the same rank as the professional elite of the costume magazine. If it were not for Cai Fei's help, even as an intern, Li Na would not have survived the probationary period in the dressing company.
However, it was such a girl that made me see how girls who were not loved could reinvent themselves. Li Na's story tells the girls that love has never been a cure for the pain of the original family.
The pain of the original family
"My name is Li Na, and I have the same name as the tennis champion Li Na. Actually, I didn't call this Na, I changed my name, I was the one over there. Because my father said that if he had a son, he would be called Li Na, and if he had a daughter, she would be called Li Na, and then I would not be happy, so why is he here, I have to be there! ”
Li Na's father's biggest regret in this life is that he does not have a son.
Li Na was raised as a boy by her father since she was a child, and she often thought: If she were a boy, her father would not divorce her mother, then her family would not be separated.
In high school, Li Na joined the track and field team and trained like a boy every day. When entering the university, Li Na chose the Sports University. Along the way, a beautiful and shiny girl in her twenties has never known how to be a woman.
Because in her bones, Li Na felt that she was wrong to have long hair and wear a skirt, and only like a boy could she be respected.
In some families, parents plant love, respect, and independence, while in others it is fear, responsibility, or guilt.
Li Na, undoubtedly, is the latter.
Not loved because I'm not good enough
Zheng Fei, Li Na's ex-boyfriend.
They dated for two years, and the reason for the breakup was that Zheng Fei split his legs and Li Na's friend. In Zheng Fei's words, Li Na is not feminine, while his current girlfriend is gentle and obedient.
What is even more ironic is that While Zheng Fei disliked Li Na, he took the money from Li Na's hard work. For more than two years, Zheng Fei successively took 13,000 yuan from Li Na.
One hundred and thirty thousand yuan is Li Na's entire savings.
After breaking up with Zheng Fei, Li Na didn't even have the money to rent a house, so she had to squeeze into the storage room of the restaurant where she worked.
And Zheng Fei?
He took money that was not his own, opened a gym, married his daughter-in-law, and planned to have children. The money owed to Li Na was li na's boss speaking with his fist, and Zheng Feicai reluctantly wrote an IOU.
Li Na broke up with such a man, understanding that people think that it is timely to stop the loss. But Li Na always said with tears: "Maybe I'm really not good enough." ”
I've always wondered:
Obviously, Zheng Fei owes money in the front and splits his legs in the back, why did he not repay the money after he broke up with Li Na? And Li Na, as if she had done something wrong, saw that Zheng Fei would dodge and dodge, and even stuttered when she spoke, not daring to look at each other squarely.
Psychologist Wu Zhihong, in "Why Home Hurts People", said:
Falling in love is not just the dance of two people now, but also the dance of two families in the past, because our dance steps were learned in childhood. If childhood is happy, then we are very likely to replicate happiness when we grow up; if childhood is painful, we are more likely to replicate this pain.
Li Na copied her father's disapproval into Zheng Fei's relationship with her, so that after breaking up, she fell into self-denial, feeling that the fault was herself, that she was not good enough.
Self-identification
Susan Foward and Craig Barker write in the book Family of Origin: How to Mend Your Own Character Flaws:
When I was a child, there was no cultivation of self-identity, and it was difficult to cultivate self-confidence and self-esteem when I grew up, but after realizing it, I would slowly improve, suddenly have new insights into self-confidence, slowly recognize what I did, accept the good places and imperfections in myself.
Deeply.
Li Na was lucky. After she lost love, at the most confused time in her life, she met a large number of excellent women such as Old Decadence, George, and Chen Kaiyi and Cai Fei. With their help, Li Na sets goals in her work, and experiences self-worth and social recognition and praise in the pursuit of goals, thus consolidating self-confidence and self-esteem in this sense of identity.
But in reality, many girls are not as lucky as Li Na, and when there is no one to help, we need to help ourselves.
If you carry the pain of your original family, it is not terrible, because self-identification can be cultivated, but most importantly, you must first remember:
Before falling in love, you should first heal the pain of your original family. A woman, not because she is loved, can get a happy life.
Today's topic: What do you think of Li Na's humble attitude towards her ex-boyfriend? Welcome to leave a message to discuss.
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Author: Suzune Qinxin; every life is worthy of being cherished!