Yi said that the gathering place for women's growth, may you not wear armor, you can resist thousands of life is not easy, welcome attention.
Chen Anyi in "Dress" tried on a wedding dress, stood in front of the mirror and said to her friends, when I lose nothing, this is the final consolation award, at least I still have love.
But the result? Lei Qitai returned from a business trip abroad, Chen Anyi wanted to marry him, but ended up breaking up, Lei Qitai has found a new love.
For such a difficult thing in the workplace, Chen Anyi can handle it, once faced with love, it is impossible, why? There were three things she didn't want to understand
If you can fly in the wind, you must also stop at the right time
As the female devil head of the fashion editor of a well-known fashion magazine in China, Chen Anyi dressed exquisitely. When she appeared, she wore dark workplace clothes and wore sunglasses in the car, a capable female elite style, not inferior to the working women in European and American dramas.
When she received the news that George, the magazine's first officer, had an accident, she immediately hid her emotions, calmly returned to the company, and let the colleagues who were in a mess of porridge take their places and deliver the day's work on time.
It can be said that in this magazine, as long as she is there, everyone works with peace of mind as if they have taken a reassuring pill.
Chen Anyi relies on her own efforts in the workplace to work hard, which is inseparable from her continuous efforts and strong business capabilities.
Although she sat in the position of deputy editor-in-chief, she was not confident in her heart, did not have any sense of security in the workplace, and in her opinion, only by obtaining a higher position could she not be eliminated by the cruel reality. Therefore, when Qiao's editor-in-chief had an accident, everyone thought that Chen Anyi would be promoted to editor-in-chief, and she herself thought the same way, and as a result, a leader was parachuted in from the headquarters, Xiao Hongxue.
Xiao Hongxue's business ability not only enjoys a high evaluation in the industry, but also behind her is her father and lover Xiang Tingfeng, who is in charge of the magazine.
Chen Anyi is naturally not willing, obviously relying on hard work, hard work to buy a world, in an instant, others can take it as long as they reach out, and no one will be willing. It's just that Chen Anyi's unwillingness, less softness, more effort, the result is not only to make themselves tired, but also to make the lives and work of the people around them into chaos.
With Chen Anyi's consistent style of acting, she naturally does not understand that when she cannot be evenly matched, she needs to take a detour and need to stop at the right time.
The famous psychology professor Yakos once said that 90% of the misfortunes in our lives are caused by unwillingness, which is also the reason why many people do not know how to stop losses in time.
One should have the courage to climb upwards, but at the same time learn to compromise and make yourself more choices, rather than forcing yourself to have only one way to go.
Retreating from difficulties and stopping at the right time is not "instigation", but to make your life better.
Between work and life, there must be a sense of boundaries
Lei Qitai's company is the B of Chen Anyi's "Dress" magazine, and the two are afraid of causing trouble to their respective jobs by opening their love relationships, so when they usually date, they are hiding, as if this love cannot be seen.
When Xiao Hongxue came to the magazine, Chen Anyi faced strong work pressure, and when she got along with Lei Qitai personally, the topic was mostly around how to compete for the position of editor-in-chief. She completely ignored Lei Qitai's feelings as a boyfriend, so that she did not see the diamond ring that Lei Qitai was holding in his hand before he went on a business trip.
Chen Anyi's neglect is a fatal blow to maintaining intimacy.
Lei Qitai's change of attitude towards Chen Anyi after the business trip also confirmed this, no longer replying to the message in time, and when calling, he would quickly end the conversation on the grounds that the signal was not good.
Love, like a career, needs to be managed. Intimacy requires responsive interactions. The time when two people are alone is the glue of love, if you always talk about work and talk about other things, it will make the other person feel love. The more stressful you are at work, the more you have to learn to separate love from work.
Women in the workplace, most of them will face the difficult situation of multiple identities, in the company to face the pressure from the career, after returning home need to immediately switch to the lover, mother, daughter of the various roles, so clear division of labor and boundaries between each role, in order to make the family and career both harvest.
Life is originally a practice, and everywhere is a field of cultivation. Learn to set boundaries and keep your life paced.
Choose a lover who can walk hand in hand into the future
The love model of Chen Anyi and Lei Qitai is a strong woman and a weak man in the traditional sense.
Whether it is career or personality, Chen Anyi has shown a more powerful aura than Lei Qitai and has more right to speak.
So, does Lei Qitai appreciate Chen Anyi's strength? Obviously he didn't approve of it. Lei Qitai's heart needs a woman who centers on him and worships him, while Chen Anyi wants someone who can fight alongside him, a partner in life, and an ally in his career.
Chen Anyi and Lei Qitai could like each other at first, but later they couldn't agree with each other.
In the book What We Talk About When We Talk About Love, it is written that love is a disease, a disease that we cannot control ourselves. We often feel that we have met the right person when we are in deep love, and when we break up, we will blame ourselves for looking away.
Lu Qi, a researcher of gender relations, mentioned four emotional patterns in the book "Love Genes", when one understands his own emotional pattern, he will understand love and will also know what kind of lover he needs.
The book points out who you will like, who you will be hurt by, what will make you happy, what will make you miserable, these are not determined by your superficial personality, but by your emotional patterns.
The so-called emotional model is divided into four types, namely: enjoyment type, dependence on lovers, giving up their independence after falling in love; masochistic type, can not tolerate flaws, try to mess up everything, see if the other party will come out to save; control type, like to occupy the dominant position, can not tolerate rejection; pleasing type, will please and cater to the lover.
People in each emotional mode have their own core needs and adaptation models: the enjoyment type likes to live a calm and non-noisy life, adapting to the masochistic type, control type, and pleasing type; the masochistic type needs people who can bring energy to him, the adaptation enjoyment type and the pleasing type; the control type needs to manage the lover, the adaptation enjoyment type and the pleasing type; the pleasing type needs to pay the lover, the adaptation enjoyment type, the control type, the masochism type, and the best match is the enjoyment type.
So, which emotional model does Chen Anyi and Lei Qitai belong to? They belong to the controlling emotional model, and both people want to control each other's lives and change each other, and the result is that neither of them can live well, which eventually leads to parting ways.
In reality, there is no shortage of people like Chen Anyi, who have the ability to have ideas, are good enough, but do not know their real inner needs, but blindly want to find a man who is more powerful than themselves, and often end up unhappy.
Therefore, when you think about these things clearly, understand your emotional patterns and your true needs, you can meet your own good people and seize happiness.
(The pictures are all from the screenshots of the TV series "Dressage", if there is any infringement, please contact to delete)