Text | Read Little Five
Ziqi and I have known each other since kindergarten, and we can say that we have played from childhood to adulthood, and there is no difference between us and our sisters. And the adults of our two families are also familiar with each other because of the two of us.
Kindergarten, elementary school, junior high school, we have never been separated, almost together to school, after school. Some teachers and classmates even thought we were related.
However, our sisterhood of more than a decade has changed since the year of the middle school entrance examination.
In the middle school entrance examination, I failed and went to a normal high school, while she played well and went to the key high school in the city. Although I am sad about my own defeat, in the face of her success, I sincerely bless her. Although she didn't comfort me, I knew she was just afraid that I would be upset.
The curriculum of key high schools is very tight, and from the beginning of high school, there is only one day off per week on weekends. In the third year of high school, there is only a half-day vacation left on Sunday afternoon, and the learning intensity is really huge.
Our ordinary high school, the first year of high school is particularly relaxed, completely do not feel how strong the learning atmosphere. It wasn't until the third year of high school that we seemed to start to get nervous and felt the pressure of the college entrance examination.
In high school, I was a day student, and she has lived on campus since the beginning of high school, and rarely comes home, so naturally we rarely see each other. But I knew that nothing would change about our friendship, and even her efforts spurred me to study hard. I'm also looking forward to going to college in the same city as her so we can be together again.
Maybe I wasn't really smart enough, but I studied hard for three years in high school but still pulled a lot away from her. She went to a 985 college in Beijing, while I stayed in the provincial capital to attend a normal university
The day the college entrance examination score came out, I remember it very clearly, and she was particularly happy to call me. Say what grades she did in various subjects, say the city she wants to go to, say the university she wants to go to.
I'm very happy that she was able to realize her dream, "Ziqi, congratulations! You are awesome! She listened to my words, was very happy, and then continued to tell me about the grades of the other students in their class, what was not as good as her exam before, now higher than her exam, luck or something.
I listened quietly and carefully, and it wasn't until I was about to hang up that she asked me, "How many did you take?" ”
I didn't hide, "556 points, should find a university in this province to study." ”
She listened, just "Hmm" and said she was going to hang up.
Doodle... The sound of the phone, like a knock on my heart, hurt, as if it didn't hurt so much.
There was no imaginary comfort, no imaginary encouragement, nothing. Some are just the beeps of the phone, the voices without emotion.
This time, I couldn't comfort myself by saying, "She's just afraid I'm upset." ”
Perhaps, we are really getting farther and farther away.
In college, she went to Beijing and I stayed in the provincial capital. We started our own lives and made new friends.
We still had very little contact, but whenever she was unhappy, she would come to me and complain to me, even at any time, regardless of whether I was busy or not. I cherish this friendship from childhood to adulthood, so many times, I have endured.
The trigger for the breakdown of our relationship was her boyfriend.
She had a boyfriend in her freshman year, a student council senior. I heard that people are good-looking and have strong abilities in all aspects, and when they chased Ziqi, they also made a lot of effort. After all, Ziqi is young and beautiful. It didn't take long for Zi Qi to be with her senior.
Her boyfriend is a student council member, who has to reach out to a lot of people and is also an extrovert. But he gave me the feeling of being the kind of slippery, unreliable person, because Ziqi has complained to me about her boyfriend countless times since she was with her boyfriend.
When Ziqi complained to me about her boyfriend again, it was because her boyfriend and a certain schoolgirl were eating alone again. I think this boy is unreliable, and Ziqi is trapped in the swamp of love and can't see clearly.
Therefore, out of the friendship of growing up together, but also out of consideration for Ziqi, I still suggested that she consider breaking up.
But what I never expected was that our chat history was seen by her boyfriend. He immediately called me by voice and scolded me, saying that I was nosy, and asked Ziqi to promise in person not to contact me in the future, and even deleted my WeChat.
And Zi Qi, who was on the side at the time, did not defend me a word.
It turned out that everything was really my nosy business.
I think about a lot of things, from when I was a kid all the way to now. Those fond memories of childhood seem like they were yesterday, and today, they were cut off by her boyfriend.
Perhaps, all along, I have been self-righteously pretending to be a friendship, longing for friendship. Our friendship may have long gone.
To Ziqi, I was like a trash can, containing all her worries, complaints, and negative emotions. Full of negative energy, without a little bit of positive energy.
Even in the end, she didn't defend me.
Yes, not a word.
Now it seems that our relationship has always been dominated by her. The emotional value I provide to her is basically positive and positive, and the emotional value she brings to me is all negative and negative.
Researchers say that in an intimate relationship, whether both parties can provide positive emotional value to each other can largely determine the success or failure of the relationship.
Perhaps, after separating from high school, our relationship was doomed to break down.
It was a quiet night that night, and I called her.
"In the future, let's stop contacting each other."
Subsequently, I hung up the phone, blocked her, and personally ended this friendship of more than ten years.
I don't have any guilt, or regret. Some are just a stranger's blessing to her, may her future life, all be well.
[Author: Nian Xiaowu (WeChat public account: Nian Xiaowu), a writer who wanders to Shanghai and does not play cards according to the routine. 】