Mothers should love their children, but many female friends around us have said that they will not have a second child or a third child. A child is busy enough, a child is not well educated, what is the use of having so many children? It's just to add to your own troubles.
Mothers find it difficult and tired to educate their children, which has a lot to do with the family education model. "Chinese-style family" parenting, tired mother, and ruined baby.
The family of three on the bus perfectly explains the sadness of what a "Chinese-style family" is
At one stop, three passengers came up, and the young man walked in front with his head held high, playing with his mobile phone while finding a seat and sitting down. The mother in the back was holding a bag in her hand and a boy of about three years old in her arms, and they sat in the back seat of the man.
As soon as he sat down, the boy began to beg his mother: "Mom, show me the phone, I want to see." "The mother does not give, the child began to cry, the mother has no way, handed the mobile phone to the child, the child looked at the video, as if suddenly there was no electricity."
The child began to cry again, and the young mother asked her husband, "Otherwise, show him your mobile phone for a while." "At this time, we learned that this is actually a family of three, otherwise, the child will cry for half a day, the man's head will not be raised, and they think they are strangers, just happen to sit together."
Dad said: "Children are not allowed to look at any mobile phone!" The child began to cry again, and the father reached out and slapped the child's back twice, with great strength, and the whole carriage was seen.
The child cried louder, and the man roared angrily, saying to his wife, "I don't know what else you can do? Not even a child, like an idiot! ”
+ Fraudulent parenting is vividly displayed in this family
Most mothers experience widowhood parenting is like this, husbands go out to work, come home is to eat, sleep, play mobile phones, these three-piece operations, every day is staged.
Mothers go out to work, go home with their children, take their children, cook, wash clothes, tutor their children with homework, and play several roles at the same time, each role is absent, and family life cannot continue.
In addition to widowed parenting, there are occasional "corpse-style" parenting in the home. When the child quarrels with the father, affects the father's rest, or affects the father's mood, the father's emotions will explode. It may be vented to the child, there will be a short period of "violent" parenting, and it may fall on the mother, complaining that her child is not well carried.
Missing fathers, anxious mothers, out-of-control children, such a family education model, so that the family loses happiness, of course, the growth of children is also a kind of harm.
The lack of fathers in the process of children's growth affects the growth of children's personality
Fathers have an indispensable role in the growth of their children. Dad often accompanies his son to grow up, so that the son can learn from his father the qualities that strong and brave boys should have. In the company of her father, girls will be lively, cheerful, confident in facing difficulties, and become confident girls.
Mom's overwork and anxiety affect family harmony
A happy family must be run by the joint efforts of parents and parents, and they jointly shoulder the responsibilities of the family's economy, child-rearing, housework and so on. If Dad is always in the family to enjoy the rights. But in the state of not taking responsibility, the mother will be overworked and anxious, and the family atmosphere will be more tense, causing a lack of security in the child's heart.
A pair of responsible parents, their task is not only to raise their children to have a good performance, but should give children a warm family environment, a happy and happy childhood, parents and mothers to participate in the growth of children, abandon the "widowhood parenting" to the children to bring harm.
Encourage fathers to participate in the growth of their children, and parents divide labor and cooperate to accompany their children's growth, and mothers can do so.
▼ Communicate with the father every day about the child's situation.
The child's growth changes every day, and there will be many problems. Mothers will spend more time with their children, we should communicate with their fathers more about their children's situation, so that fathers can also feel the growth and changes of their children, and inspire him to participate in raising children.
▼ Create activities for children and fathers to complete together.
Mothers accompany children to do handicrafts, coax children to sleep, fathers can accompany children to go out to play football, and children to carry out parent-child reading, parents should divide labor and cooperate, arrange some exclusive activities for fathers and children, let children and fathers have the opportunity to interact, and cultivate a deep parent-child relationship.
▼ Encourage and affirm Dad's participation and dedication.
Dad's patience is relatively small, when the child encounters difficulties, it is easy to retreat, smart mothers will not be a big package, they are good at encouraging dad to persevere, praise and support will give dad more patience and confidence in parenting.
Like my husband was only willing to lie down and play with his mobile phone at home, I only knew how to scold him, but I found that it was useless, but it made our relationship more and more tense.
Later I started to change my thinking, why not change my approach? Maybe it can succeed! Later, I slowly encouraged him to take the child, even if it was not very good, but also endured, the result is now that the husband with the baby is more professional than me as a nursery teacher, he himself also took the family education instructor, really the whole family is working together to become better.
The Chinese family cannot become synonymous with widowed parenting, and parents together support a home for their children, and give children the same amount of father and mother love, which should be a truly happy Chinese family.