On February 10, a woman posted a short video on Douyin to record the process of leaving home with her husband to work at the end of the New Year. In fact, in the mainland, every year thousands of families face such a choice, in order to better employment opportunities, economic income, bao moms and fathers can only choose to go home briefly during the New Year to reunite with their children, at the end of the new year to rush back to work, hoping to create a better future for their children when they are young.
Originally, the focus of this kind of story is nothing more than to make us pay more attention to the education and psychological problems of left-behind children, pay attention to the difficulty of parents leaving their children to work outside the home, pay attention to the difference in economic level, and pay attention to poverty alleviation. The reason why the woman nicknamed "Chess Mother" in the video is "out of the circle" among many migrant parents is because of a passage in the video:
"I'm sorry to make you a left-behind child
You have grandparents at home
But Dad only had Mom and Brother
Mom didn't want Dad to be alone
Get up early in Shenzhen and get dark
Mom and brother went over
No matter how tired your father is, at least he still has a spiritual sustenance
Sorry, Dad is going to work
Pay you a mortgage to study."
Seeing the third sentence of this passage reminds people of the scumbag's paragraph" "You only lose your legs, but what ZiLing loses is her love." Qiong Yao's classic line tells us that when a person does not love you, your life cannot withstand a hair of the person he cares about. One of the reasons for the extreme discomfort caused by the words of this "chess mother" is also here.
Netizens generally believe that this mother is obviously a son preference, but also said that the preference for sons and daughters is so "fresh and vulgar", holding her son in her arms, but saying to her daughter, "I am going for your father, I must take my brother away, but I can't take you away." Imagine that a woman's infant son must need to be taken care of, and in the case of a woman, it is not realistic to hire a sister-in-law or a nanny, even if she goes to the city or she takes care of the children herself, so what is the difference between taking care of one and taking care of two? From another point of view, the cost of living in the city is higher, if it is really to save money to pay the mortgage for study, women and sons should stay in the rural hometown, after all, the family's food and clothing are less expensive than the city, so netizens think that it does not make sense here.
The second point that makes netizens pay attention is that the "chess mother" said in the video that in order to pay the mortgage for her daughter, not only made netizens wonder, where is the house? Is it really to pay off the mortgage to the daughter? Or is it just to find a reason for her daughter not to stop her from leaving?
We don't understand things and can't jump to conclusions. But the words of these fragments, and the girl's crying and pulling on the car door, still made our hearts hurt fiercely.
In fact, children are very sensitive to these, which also gives us some warnings:
1. The influence of patriarchal thinking is with the child throughout his life. Children who grow up in such families are often afraid to express their love because they have not learned from their parents how to love others and how to establish an intimate relationship. But these children are also eager to be loved, to be comforted by emotions that were not satisfied before. In this way, they endure psychological contradictions, longing for intimate love but afraid to touch, and this contradiction cannot be changed even for the rest of their lives.
2. Parents should not be absent during their children's growth, but in reality, they can often only allocate limited time to accompany their children in order to make a living. In this case, it is not feasible to force parents to have more time, but parents want their children to know "I love you", not only in words, but also in practical action. For example, with the child's grandparents / grandparents to understand the child's daily life, understand the child's preferences, occasionally give the child some gifts she likes, and accompany the child as much as possible during the child's important time - such as birthdays, such as the New Year - as much as possible, whether it is in person or online.
Do you also have a patriarchal preference around you? Welcome to the comments section
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Image source: Network
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