I have a typical case around me, my neighbor, and this aspect really shocks you out of your big teeth.
First, let's introduce the background
The neighbor has two babies, the eldest baby is 10 years old, and the second baby has just been born in the full moon.
She graduated with a master's degree, majoring in accounting, and his husband is not highly educated, but works at Tencent. Their annual salary is more than 1.2 million, she is more than 600,000, and her husband is more than 600,000.
Her husband travels to Shenzhen-Tencent headquarters for a long time, and is at home for no more than 2 months a year, especially in the past few years when the epidemic occurred, and there is less time at home. She works and has more part-time jobs.
Because of the big difference in her living habits with her in-laws, she issued an eviction order. Her own parents were inconvenient to come to Beijing for various reasons to help her take care of her children.
In order to illustrate one thing, their children are almost unattended, but their children are very good, especially outstanding - independence, cheerful and optimistic personality, strong will quality.
Second, the way she takes care of her children
Seeing this question, I thought back to her unique approach:
1. Let children have the ability to make choices from an early age. Like what:
When she leaves work late, she will ask her children: "Do you cook your own food, order takeout, or wait for me to come home and eat together";
When she has a social gathering after work, she will ask the child: "Your aunt Zhang asked her mother to talk about something, she said to bring you a gift, are you willing to come over and thank you in person?" ”；
On weekends, when she wants to work at home, she will ask the child: "Do you want to assemble the car that your father bought for you, or go out to play with your classmates, and assemble the car, do you want to say hello to your neighbor's uncle in advance?"
Wait, her children sometimes think about it and then make a decision, sometimes blurt it out immediately, either way, it's his own decision. There are some differences between this and the "parents tell him directly what to do" approach.
2. Let the child improve communication skills
Similarly, they are not often at home. Children need to go home after school, encounter network failures after returning home, and order takeaways cannot be delivered.
Here people may be more worried about the safety of their children, which is the point. She arranged it all.
When the child is out of school, if she can't go up to pick up (which often happens), she will talk to the neighbor and the same community to pick up the child, and then say to the child, "If I can't pick you up after work, how can you find the grandmother of so-and-so classmate";
When the child arrives home, she will order takeaway (the child himself cannot order takeaway), and when the takeaway is delivered, he will go to the neighbor's house to wait and pick it up again;
The child's own safety at home will be sternly warned at the beginning that the child really will not do dangerous things. This is for your reference only, I think it is better to have someone to take care of it, especially if the children are relatively young.
Wait, throughout the process, the child needs to communicate with people of all ages, become very lively, and be wary of strangers.
Third, her child is very good now
1. Children are willing to communicate and dare to speak;
2, children dare to make decisions, among peers, many children play with him;
3, the child has strong hands-on ability, because the parents take care of less, so the family needs to do the work, he will do a lot;
4, the child has a strong personality, encounters setbacks, difficulties, hear more is "no problem, small meaning", "let me try again", "I can get it done", encounter unfair things, never cry;
5, the child understands things, knows that parents are hard, sees his parents working overtime, does not go home all year round, etc., he knows that life has a lot of hardships;
6, many others.
IV. Conclusion
Both of them have good careers, earn a lot of money, and their family is very rich. The child develops very well and you can understand that the self grows very well, haha.
This situation is not necessarily suitable for many families, especially for parents who are soft-hearted, especially if the mother must be fierce. She said that at the beginning, she was not at ease, tracking and watching on the way to and from school, and when the children were at home, they often went back to see. But after the transition period, everything is different.