01
Parents are there, the whole family is harmonious, and brothers and sisters love each other.
When the parents go, the whole family is full of contradictions, and the brothers and sisters hate each other.
When the parents are there, when they go with the parents, why does the family change so much? Because parents are always buffers of family relationships. All contradictions will be suppressed when the parents are in the church.
Some emotional researchers believe that parents always play a role like a "balance" in the family, always balancing the relationship between children. Once the balance is out of balance, the otherwise harmonious relationship is broken.
In a family, he has a vendetta against his eldest brother, but looking at the face of his parents, he still chooses to forgive his eldest brother, not to turn his face and not recognize people, and put things on the table.
After more than ten years, his parents have left, then he will definitely "re-mention the old things" with his eldest brother, and even tit-for-tat for some things, and turn against each other. All of this is very realistic.
Why did the ancients say, "Brothers, settle accounts"? Because they know that once their parents return, even if the brothers and sisters are harmonious, they will fight for a little family property.
After the parents leave, they choose not to interact with the "brothers and sisters", often the following 4 kinds of people.
02
Most people who choose not to associate with their brothers and sisters attach importance to "family affection".
How can we maintain "harmonious" interpersonal relationships? That is to keep a certain distance.
People are too close to each other, and eventually contradictions will arise. Excessive intimacy between people is ultimately a disaster. All emotional deterioration begins with getting too close.
When the parents are there, the brothers and sisters still have a sustenance in their hearts, and there is also a core. There is sustenance and core of them, and they will certainly value their feelings with brothers and sisters.
The so-called "parents are the emotional hub of the family" is this truth.
When this emotional hub disappears, there will be a fight between the brothers and sisters. If the two sides are too close, there will only be bigger problems between people.
In order to avoid the emergence of greater contradictions, we can only choose to reduce the frequency of exchanges, as long as we gather a few times during the New Year's Festival. This is the best way to maintain a harmonious relationship.
Staying away does not represent thin affection, but represents our emphasis on family affection.
03
People who choose not to interact with their siblings often don't want to get into "trouble."
Someone once made the point that troubles in interpersonal relationships are the result of deliberate and superfluous human beings.
Originally, these troubles would not have appeared, but if we had to deliberately create trouble, the trouble would come endlessly. All the results are borne by ourselves.
For example, if your siblings want to borrow money from you, how can you be good? When family affection is matched with interests, everything is difficult to say.
If you don't lend it to him, people will say you don't value affection. You helped him, and he may be ungrateful and even drag your money back all the time. Everything, very realistic.
In such a situation, how exactly would you choose?
Just such a sentence, can't afford to provoke, can hide.
Since we don't want to get into trouble, nor do we want to provoke contradictions, then we should hide far away, and it is best to have less contact between the two sides, just need to maintain a certain amount of contact.
This is often the mentality of contemporary people.
04
Most of those who choose not to associate with their siblings have been hurt.
Since they are unwilling to come and go, they prove that they have suffered some harm. And these hurts will make people feel uncomfortable, and even the last trace of feelings in their hearts will be worn away.
In the interpersonal relationship field, I have a good relationship with you, and you have not harmed me, so it is still okay for us to maintain a certain friendly relationship between us. Conversely, if you have hurt me, there is no need for us to maintain a harmonious relationship.
Relatives, in particular, need less contact if they can do so. This is not a matter of weak feelings, but we do not want to be unnecessarily hurt anymore.
There is a saying that brothers do not share wealth, and sisters have little contact.
Try not to have common property between brothers, or they will become enemies. Between sisters, you only need to get together a few times during the New Year's Festival, and the rest of the time is less exchanged to avoid hurting each other.
People who have known about interpersonal relationships understand that people get together, but there are three purposes, either to calculate each other, or to conspire to kill people, or to talk about feelings. That's all.
05
Most people who choose not to interact with their siblings prefer to be quiet.
When people are old, they advocate these two words - quiet.
When we were young, maybe we liked to live a noisy life and work hard in the bustling city. This is the pursuit of youthful vigor.
When we are older, maybe we like to live quiet days and live in ordinary nests. This is a mature and simple pursuit.
Why do we rarely interact with our brothers and sisters, and rarely interact with unnecessary people?
Because we know that people who don't have true feelings don't have to pull together. Instead of both sides suffering, it is better to let go of each other and be at ease with each other, at least it will not affect the original relationship.
Those who truly love us will always be by our side. People who don't love us, even if we treat each other with sincerity, will not get good results.
You know, people's hearts are exchanged for people's hearts, which is the essence of interpersonal relationships. If we can't do that, it's better for us to have a quiet little life. Perhaps, calm and indifferent is the pursuit of a mature life.
Wen/Shushan has deer