This time the child was really sad. In the third year of junior high school, she went to her grandmother's house, and there were many relatives in the family.
I walked in the door and helped with the meal, and then I didn't pay much attention to the children. She followed her aunt and uncle to do this and that.
After eating at noon, the children helped clean up the dishes and received a lot of praise.
The night before, she didn't sleep, and in order to get up early in the morning, she slept until very late since the holidays, and she got up at six o'clock in the morning.
But in the evening, the guests are gone, she gets up and feels that it is not right, and she does not care about you, she will not listen to what you say, all kinds of intimidation, hurt your heart.
When you get home, you play with your phone, and the next day you don't get up to write your homework, you just don't want to pay attention to you. So finally I couldn't help but scold her. "I don't want to learn to learn, why is this, who is it to show my face..."
In this way, the relationship between our mother and father became tense again.
Later, I learned that it was because of my old cousin's child, the child studied very well, ranked first in the grade department, and she was about ten in the class. Relatives also gave more praise to the child, and may have touched her glass heart, and a few sentences said that she was not tall, her clothes were fashionable, and it became a harm to her, relatives praised her white, I said a sentence "wipe it", she felt that I did not give her face, hurt her.
She was cold to me, she was disobedient, it turned out to be out of self-esteem, trying to show herself in order to get herself recognized.
Still a child.
Therefore, as a parent, sometimes you really have to pay attention to your own words and deeds. It may be a casual remark that can cause harm to the child, and what the child needs is recognition and unconditional love.
At noon I was very angry, I deleted her WeChat, and then she looked for her father, I cried angrily, adults sometimes really are not calm enough, at night his father reconciled a bit, I also adjusted my own state, added WeChat, to her to owe.
But I think this time my lack of calm really caused a lot of harm to the child.
In the process of educating children, it is not that parents always have to guide their children, but parents find ways to improve their self-cultivation. Learning to be a parent is more important than knowing how to instruct your children.