No one wants to intentionally hurt a child! He was also a dad for the first time

At the age of 3, forgetting what had happened, he hit his son on the soles of his feet. After half a month, he apologized to his son, saying that it was wrong for his father to hit someone.

It's not adults who can hit people

When I was 5 years old, because my son's homework was not written, after I said my son, my son's attitude was not good. The husband's original family is the father said one, the child absolutely does not dare to say two, let alone do the wrong thing.

When the line of reason broke off, he said to his son, "You go to school by yourself, and when you get halfway through, you disappear." After half a day, he bought ice cream to apologize to his son, dad didn't mean not to want you, dad was too angry at the moment, shouldn't say that.

When he was 6 years old, because he helped his son wipe the urine on the urethra floor many times, he was anxious to use the toilet that day, and when he saw the urine spilled again, he was angry and said to his son, "The next time you pee out of the toilet, I will cut off your GG." After 30 minutes, I went into my son's room. Apologies to my son, I just shouldn't have said such a thing, I'm sorry.

From half a month, to half a day, to 30 minutes

From not seeing his mistakes and needing to find time to communicate with him, to his own quick awareness of his mistakes and willingness to correct himself again and again.

Really happy for him, willing to open up to see his mistakes, and admit mistakes, but also willing to correct his behavior step by step, for a militarized education, a strong sense of subjectivity, is not a simple thing (but this does not mean that I think his past behavior is right).

He is a dad who is willing to spend time with his son to study and play in addition to work. He is also a dad who, in addition to work, often cooks and does housework.

He's my husband here. This is our sixth year as a parent. I remember the incident when I was 3 years old, after he calmed down for a few days, we talked at night and I shared my findings with him.

I said, "One day my son asked me to do something, and I said no, and my son made a gesture to beat me. At first I was so angry that I thought how he could beat his mother. Later I thought about the day you hit the soles of his feet, do you think it is possible for your son to imitate you? I asked my son, do you know why I was beaten? He said he didn't know, he just felt it hurt and felt his dad was angry. "

"Is it possible that the thing my son has learned is that when he grows up and has more strength, he can use violence to get someone to listen to him?"

He said he understood! He only thought that hitting the soles of his feet would not hurt, and ignored it not because he wanted to use the beating to let his children learn. After that, he "never" took out a stick to beat the child again, although the previous hit on the sole of the foot was already a choice that he felt was harmless to his body, and after this incident, he learned a better way.

I remember the incident when I was 5 years old, we sent our son to school, he complained all the way about his son's undeserved, and finally asked me, what are you talking to your son, how long have you been talking to your son?

I told his son was scared and he thought you were really going to leave him out there. I told him you wouldn't leave him outside, none of us would leave him out there.

You don't know what you're talking about when you're angry, and I gave you the example of how much you love him in life to let your son know that you're just too angry with him to talk back. He was quiet for a long time, and suddenly said that he remembered the picture of himself being thrown out of the door by his father when he was a child.

Dad said he wanted him out. In the course of our communication, he discovered the imprint of this original family. When he went to pick up his son after class, he apologized to him.

When he was 6 years old, because his son resisted, he was angry and said that he was going to cut off his son GG.

Because after a few previous communications, I believe he can see more in the present moment. So this time I looked at him and said to him loudly, "You can't talk to your son like this." "

He may have been stunned for a moment, and then asked his son to go out to the balcony at night to punish the station. Hearing his instructions, he ignored the 18-degree temperature outside, wore light pajamas, and immediately took his son to the balcony. He looked at me and said what are you doing? I dragged my son out without looking back. (Separating two people at this moment can make each other calmer.) "In order for him to see what he says, man will take it seriously!" ）

(Note: Because this is a harmless act to the body, if not, I would not have made such a decision)

This time, it's different.

Honestly, I was furious the first time I hit the soles of his feet, and I wondered how he could do that. The second time he said that his son would be in his heart, I also needed time to calm my emotions first, and this time the emotions affected by him were much less. Because I already know what I can do and believe that God will lead me.

While quickly sneaking back into the room to put on the coat for his son and himself, he accompanied his son to discern that what an angry person said sounded like a fool, so it was fake, not real. Until the child really understands that this is the past dad trapping the current dad! only to stop.

After 10 minutes, the gentleman asked us to go into the room, and after 10 minutes, the gentleman came into the house and apologized. He said sorry. This time I didn't speak, and my son said, "It's okay."

I said, "It doesn't matter if it doesn't, it's not right to talk like this, it's related!" We're going to take it seriously." Also tell your son that if you want, you can accept your father's apology, you can say, "I forgive you." But this matter is not without a relationship. At that time, the son had fully understood that cutting GG could not happen, and he also saw his father's remorse.

The son took the initiative to tell me to hug my father, and we saw my husband sitting alone in the living room with the light off, reflecting, and he seemed to really feel that he was very undeserving, very remorseful, and very remorseful.

After 2-3 days, we were driving home, and we took the initiative to ask him, how did he feel when my son went to hug him that day? He said: He felt very touched because he did not expect that he would be accepted like this.

I said, we are family. No one is perfect, because we are a family, so we have the opportunity to see each other's dark side, and we have the opportunity to support and grow each other. We see ourselves, our parents, and better ways in every challenge.

Many people have also asked me, what if the behavior of the other half has an impact on the child? What I would say, however, is that maybe it's good to happen at home as well. Because we can see, we are able to process, communicate. My original family was full of praise, and when I came to the campus later, I was bullied by words, and there was no way to digest it, and I didn't dare to tell my family.

Perhaps because of this, when the child is later faced with the exclusion of his classmates and verbal attacks, he will be more able to understand the reasons behind the discernment, and he will not go to the heart. It's been another six months now, and I asked my son yesterday, do you think Dad is going to cut you GG? My son unbelievably told me how this was possible!

I said, mom thinks this matter may bring strength to many people, are you willing to let mom share it? We may have the opportunity to help moms and dads who blame themselves for being angry with themselves, maybe we may have a chance to help dads who are also as angry as your dads, and moms who don't know what to do like before.

He said yes!

We are all growing up in learning, please be gentle with yourself, be gentle with your children, and be gentle with your other half. When we are willing to be gentle with ourselves and those around us, we can see the world from a different perspective.

Gentle, not necessarily weak.

Gentleness can be the most powerful force.

When we stabilize ourselves one at a time, we can become a stabilizing force in the home.

Deep blessings