People who suffer from fate may not have the opportunity to experience the true meaning of happiness and happiness in this lifetime. When others are enjoying the good, they don't know where to run, just for the few pieces of silver, their hope is just to be able to live a stable life.
However, the hemp rope is specially picked and broken, and sometimes, a person's fate is good or bad, and it is already a predestined thing. Psychological research has shown that women who are "bitter in life" have these 3 commonalities in their bodies, without exception
Like to worry, in fact, it is also a kind of "flattering type"
01) Harvard University has done a 75-year study, mainly to study what is the biggest factor that allows us to maintain the abundance of life in the process of life.
The key to our happiness in our lives lies in the intimate relationships we have with other people.
With intimate relationships, our lives will not be too lonely, after all, we are not on the shelf, nor are we always not dealing with others.
As long as we live in this world, getting along with others and establishing intimate relationships is a process that we must go through.
However, some women never know how to establish intimate relationships with others, and in their view, it is not good to reject others, and others' negative evaluations of themselves are also bad.
02), therefore, such people have a flattering personality, and most of them are mainly to please and cater to others when dealing with interpersonal relationships.
Thus, we can see that in the workplace, all people can ask them for help; at home, everything is done by themselves, because they do not know how to refuse, they are the "good old people" in everyone's mouth.
However, the "good old man" has always been a hard worker, doing things that do not belong to him, and worrying about idleness that is not his responsibility, fortunately, everything is still in the room for maneuver at this stage of middle age.
Mr. Ji Xianlin once said: "In this life, people will not be smooth sailing, there will be many difficulties to stop you, but the meaning of life is to persist and go on." ”
We must understand that the first meaning of life is to make ourselves happy, to love ourselves first and then to love others.
Without opinion, what others say is what it is
A group of carp prepared to jump the dragon gate, but they could not jump after jumping several times, and one of the fish felt that it was doing useless work, so he chose to give up.
The other fish also joined in, retreating one after another, except for one fish, which was convinced that it could succeed, and worked hard alone, not following the current.
Later, only this fish successfully jumped over the dragon gate, while the other fish were still fish and could not escape the fate of being caught.
In life, we will have many choices, and there are countless voices around us interfering with us, "Give up, you can't do it", "You don't fit in, you are different from us, you are an outlier." ”
When some people hear these voices, they will be afraid of being rejected, so they choose to fit in, so their lives begin to decline;
Some people are unmoved and turn a deaf ear, they don't care about other people's opinions and evaluations, and they don't care what others do, they only listen to their own innermost voices.
Therefore, the better a person is, the worse a person is, because when you choose to be social, you are destined to be with mediocrity.
Therefore, if you want to make yourself a good life, you must learn to be an "unsociable" woman.
As Schopenhauer said, "Only when a man is alone can he become himself completely." Whoever does not love solitude is not loving himself, for he is free only when he is lonely. ”
The impact of the family of origin is deeply rooted
01), the real happiness and joy of life, in fact, are soaked in intimate family relations, if a person in the original family can not get happiness, then it is difficult for her to be happy after she grows up.
Because once some things are past the age of the most needed, no matter how much effort is made in the future, they cannot make up for the initial shortcomings.
The pine nuts in the movie "The Life of the Abandoned Pine Nuts" were not concerned by their parents when they were young, because their sister was weak and sick, and the father gave all the love to his sister, and the pine nuts are transparent people.
The lack of love in childhood makes Matsuko grow up and feel insecure, and she has always been pleasing to others.
02), When he finally understood that people should live for themselves after running for most of his life, he was beaten by a group of bear children with baseball bats and died on the street where no one cared.
If the original family can give Pine Nuts a little love, perhaps in the future days, Pine Nuts will not be so hard, but unfortunately, lucky people use childhood to heal a lifetime, and unlucky people use a lifetime to heal childhood.
A Line of Zen masters in Vietnam once said, "We need to learn techniques for creating happiness." If we were influenced by mom and dad creating happiness at home as children, we would naturally know how to do it. ”
Therefore, women who have not been able to live happily in their original families will find it difficult to live happily when they grow up.