Behind the "unpleasant" ...

"Why don't you get up yet?" It's all three o'clock in the day!" At 9:00 a.m., Li Shuqin, who had endured and could not bear it, rushed into her daughter's room and pulled open the curtains. "Don't sleep at night, get up in the morning, you're now black and white." Li Shuqin's voice unconsciously increased several times.

Hearing her mother's criticism, Li Meng, a junior in college this year, covered her head with a quilt and still lay motionless on the bed, and her mother continued to stand by the bed and said non-stop: "You have become a night owl." It's not good for the body to go on like this for a long time..."

Sleep late and get up late to be contradictory

When going to school, parents and children are busy with work and school on the other, it is difficult to meet, and each other's hearts are more missed. When the winter vacation holidays arrived, the children finally returned home, but after three days of rejoicing, family conflicts also occurred frequently.

"Every day I look forward to my daughter going home from vacation early, and now I finally come back, but when I see the child's state, I don't want to fight." In the past two days, Li Shuqin, who lives in the Jiayuan Field Community of the Canal District, can't stop nagging as soon as she sees her neighbors, "This child either sleeps in black and white every day, or holds a mobile phone and guards the computer to keep playing, and I call her to get up every morning." ”

Li Shuqin said that her daughter Li Meng is attending college in Baoding and is a junior student. Just a few days before the holiday, she can still talk to her parents about home, and then she plays with her mobile phone every day, goes to bed at two or three o'clock in the morning, and wakes up when it is time for lunch.

Li Shuqin and her husband have good work and rest rules, going to bed at 10 o'clock every night and getting up at 6 o'clock in the morning, almost thundering.

Li Shuqin felt that her daughter's work and rest time was particularly bad and hurt her body. She talked to her daughter several times in a serious tone, advising her to go to bed early and get up early. To this end, Li Shuqin also carefully prepared a nutritious breakfast for her daughter. Who knows, the daughter took her words as a side wind, could not listen to a word, and made a white meal every day.

At the beginning, Li Shuqin still endured her temper and did not criticize the child. A few days later, she finally couldn't help it, rushed into her daughter Li Meng's room, and shouted loudly: "Every day is not looking at the mobile phone or playing with the computer, the other time is sleeping, the bedroom is not willing to come out, what are you talking like?" ”

After several quarrels, the mother and daughter began a "cold war", and neither of them paid attention to the other. Li Shuqin no longer cares about her daughter, and her daughter continues to sleep late and get up late. "The child misses her when he doesn't go home, and who knows that after he comes back, he is so angry with her that my blood pressure rises."

Li Shuqin's daughter Li Meng is also a grievance, "On the first day of every holiday, your mother sees that you like it; after a week, your mother sees that you are not happy; after a month, I hope you hurry back to school." Li Meng told reporters that this is not a joke, but a true portrayal of her family.

At 8:00 a.m., when she was still asleep, her mother knocked on the door and called her to eat, and she covered herself in the quilt and pretended not to hear. What she couldn't stand most was that her mother often pushed the door in and stood by her bedside and kept talking. Li Meng said that over the years, she has become accustomed to going to bed late and taking holidays, and originally wanted to be free, but she did not expect to have a very unpleasant quarrel with her parents. "Usually go to school, nervous, a few days off is not comfortable." Li Meng said.

The "pig nest" controversy

In the past two days, 50-year-old Xu Yinghua really has the feeling of "not seeing children think, seeing every day and arguing".

Before her first-year son came home from vacation, she cleaned up her son's room spotlessly, changed into new sheets and futons, wiped the table clean with rags, folded the clothes in the cabinet neatly, and even bought new curtains to hang. "I even swept under the bed very clean." Xu Yinghua said.

On the day of her son's return, she also specially prepared a sumptuous meal to express the joy of reunion. "Ribs, chicken wings, striped fish... I started busy a few days in advance. In those days, I was looking forward to my child's vacation home. Xu Yinghua said.

After the child returned home, the couple was particularly happy, and repeatedly told the child to eat well, drink well, and rest well. On the third day of the child's return, when Xu Yinghua entered her son's room, her anger suddenly rushed up: the originally spotless house had completely changed its appearance.

A pile of dirty clothes was placed in the middle of the floor; the remaining drink bottles were casually placed on the desk; the sheets laid out on the bed were already messy; the dirty socks were thrown in the corner of the room... "I counted, and there were 11 socks, and each sock could not find another one..." Xu Yinghua said helplessly.

Xu Yinghua quickly asked his son to clean up the house. Who knew that the son said indifferently that the house was already very clean. "Your house has become a 'pig's nest.'" Xu Yinghua couldn't help but shout loudly.

"Mom, can you please not enter my room at will?" Wang Zheng was not happy either, he felt that his room was not chaotic, and he would naturally take the initiative to clean it up when he wanted to clean it up.

The mother Xu Yinghua really couldn't look at it, and asked her son to clean up the house immediately.

Watching his son slowly clean up the house, Xu Yinghua was really angry. "Hurry up, don't grind like this." You're so lazy..."

"I'm scolded when I get home, it's better to be in school." The son said with a black face.

"Not good for the eye"

"When I get home, I'll just hold my phone and play games and watch videos, cry for a while, and have fun for a while." Ma Yuexiang, who lives in the Wenchengyuan Community in the Canal District, looks at her son who has just returned home for a week during the winter vacation, and he is already particularly "unpleasant".

When she first came home, her mother Ma Yuexiang always took the initiative to pull her son to nag about the family, she wanted to hear her son talk about the school, and wanted her son to accompany her to talk for a while.

Who knew that the son was particularly uncooperative, and as soon as he sat on the sofa, he picked up the mobile phone, and even sat on the dining table to eat, he always held the mobile phone to watch. Mom asked twice, and he simply "uh-huh" twice.

After a few times, Ma Yuexiang really couldn't help it and started a fire. "Your 'wrist' is too big now, and you can't talk to you in a hurry."

Ma Yuexiang complained that she just wanted to understand her children's life at school, but the children had no patience to chat with them, let alone talk about the family.

When Ma Yuexiang's son did not have a holiday, he also looked forward to going home, but when he returned home, he had no desire to speak and only wanted to be alone. "The two generations are not concerned about the same topic, and I am not interested in what they want to say." He said.

The two generations have different tastes in life and different living habits, which have become the focus of family conflicts.

Zhang Wenhui, who lives in the Lantingyuan community in the canal district, is in her third year of college this year, and after returning home from vacation, she also encountered her own troubles.

After the happy momentum of the reunion, her mother wanted Zhang Wenhui to accompany her to visit the door, today to eat at the aunt's house, tomorrow to the second aunt's house...

When she arrived at a relative's house, Zhang Wenhui felt very bored. After Zhang Wenhui and her mother visited relatives' homes twice, no matter how much her mother called her, she did not go. "I felt very embarrassed, I didn't know how to say those homely words, I would rather stay at home in a daze than visit relatives and friends with my mother." My mother was still a little angry about this, thinking that I didn't understand things. ”

After refusing to string relatives, her mother pulled Zhang Wenhui to go shopping and supermarkets... Zhang Wenhui followed several times at first, and later, she completely "went on strike". "I've had a showdown with my mom, don't pull me out with her anymore."

"I was looking forward to the child's return, and within a few days of coming back, we had a conflict because of different ideas." Zhang Wenhui's mother said helplessly.

Empathize

"What's wrong with today's college students, it's really ignorant." The reporter interviewed the parents of more than 10 college students, all of whom were complaining about their children.

Parents' dissatisfaction is mainly concentrated in the child's living habits of sleeping late and getting up late and playing with mobile phones all day. Children have long been accustomed to their own way of life, and returning home is equivalent to "a comprehensive physical and mental holiday", and they are unwilling to cooperate with their parents to change.

To this end, the reporter interviewed Yu Lili, a second-level psychological counselor in our city. As a psychological counselor who has been engaged in family education for many years, she believes that both parties are responsible for such problems.

Yu Lili pointed out that most of the college students are young people over the age of 18, and their self-awareness is gradually maturing, hoping to control their own lives independently. For parents, in their hearts, college students are still children, they can't completely let go, or according to the standards of a minor child to ask them. Solving this problem requires both sides to think more about each other's ideas and make concessions.

On the one hand, parents should not always try to interfere with their every move. If there is too much interference, it is inevitable that the two sides will disagree, resulting in a tense family atmosphere. When parents find ineffective communication with their children, learn to reflect on themselves. Yu Lili suggested that during the holidays, parents should give their children more space appropriately, and children should also communicate frankly with their parents.

On the other hand, as a college student, you must be considerate of your parents' hardships. Parents sometimes use nagging to grab their child's attention and let the child talk to himself. College students should take a little time to accompany their parents every day, such as living a regular life, not staring at the mobile phone endlessly after getting up, and so on. As children, we must know how to be grateful, think in a different position, communicate frankly with parents, cherish the time with our parents, and increase our sense of responsibility and responsibility.

Yu Lili said that the conflict between children and parents is not called conflict, it can only be called "temper tantrums", and everyone is just gambling. Parents and children should debug each other, understand each other, enjoy the good time together, and spend a happy and happy holiday.

(The college students and parents interviewed in this article are pseudonyms)