Last night, a fan left me a message in the middle of the night, saying: "Yang, I go out early and return late every day, trying to make money, I buy him what the child wants, why does he not listen to what I say?" No matter what he did, he always did it against me? ”
From the text, I can feel the helplessness of a father, although he has worked hard to earn money early and return late, buying more toys for his children, but he can't buy the companionship he wants for his children. Is it that the child wants to find some feedback from the way he works against his parents, wants his parents to pay more attention to himself, and does he want his parents to care more about himself?
From a psychological point of view, people's psychological development is sequential, and the problem of performance is lagging behind, to put it bluntly, it is the problem of planting seeds and germinating results, and the rebellion of many adolescents is not a state that children must appear at a certain age, which may be accumulated from a small heart and shown when they have a little ability
Everything the child showed was when he was a child, affected by the environment around him, and what he looked like when I did an interview and went to a juvenile detention center, where there was a felon, he was only 16 years old, but his words shocked me
He said: "I was fed out by my parents one by one, my temper was also brought out by my parents, my loneliness and helplessness were also given by my parents, my ideas were nagged out by my mother, and my violence was beaten by my father."
Therefore, family support is not only material, but more importantly, companionship, for the child, for the family to work hard to make money is not wrong, but we should also occasionally give ourselves a holiday, to accompany the child, you tired and tired to raise a child to adulthood, it turns out that this child will not be anything, every day idle, everywhere is troublesome, not doing the right thing, do you think you have paid half a lifetime of effort is really worth it? Is that little bit of money you saved for him really enough for him to splurge?
Therefore, education is not only to send children to school, but more importantly, to teach children how to behave and do things, so that they can become a loving and independent person, which is our biggest wish to raise children!
Take more time to accompany your child, take more time to teach your child, take more time to listen to your child's voice, and can't let the material replace your own company, otherwise, the cold toy will eventually create a cold child! So, what a child becomes is entirely up to the parents!